Past and Present
by tarskeewee
Summary: Evangeline and John are happily married with a five year old son. A reappearance of an old love returns to their lives and threatens to destory everything they've built.


PAST and PRESENT by tarskeewee08 Chapter 1: PAST and PRESENT 

The story you are about to read takes place 5 years after "A new beginning" ends. Let me catch you up on the residents of Llanview

**_Antonio / Layla –_** That's right folks they're a couple living together and raising Jamie who is now 7. The death of Natalie and Christian ripped a whole into the fabric of the relationship that Antonio had with Jessica Buchanan. Layla was a source of comfort for Antonio and eventually both pf them gave into their passion for each other. Antonio obtained his law degree and absolved any connection to his Santi family name. He still has considerable wealth but most is in a trust for Layla and Adrianna. Layla set aside her goals to become an actress and is now becoming increasingly restless. Her relationship with her mom doesn't help and trouble is on the horizon for this couple.

**_Bo / Nora - _**Nora and Bo are remarried. She's still the DA and Bo is still the Commissioner and they continually bump heads in their careers. The love between them is profound but Nora feels that Bo has lost his touch in the area of romance and is somewhat frustrated. Evangeline has been her confidant. Both Bo and Nora feel that the events of 5 years ago left a lot unsaid. Neither John nor Evangeline ever clued them in on the Castillo influence and everyone's memory is fading.

**_Lisa Williamson - _**Lisa decided after the birth of her grandson to move to Llanview. She's very close with little Tommy and watches him often for John and Evangeline. She's more opinionated than ever in her daughter's lives. She carries a painful secret of their father and works tirelessly to make sure her daughters don't make the same mistake. Her intentions are good but her delivery lacks finesse. Look for an interesting story there.

**_Michael and Marcie - _**They're engaged. Evangeline is helping Marcie plan her wedding and Michael is now Chief of Staff at Llanview hospital. Very devoted too each other. Marcie is writing again and has published 3 books.

**_Thomas Robert McBain - _**Is 5 years old. He will be starting school in a week and can't wait. He worships his dad. For his 5th birthday he got a toy cop uniform equipped with a baton and badge that looked just like his dads. Most nights he wears it to sleep if mom is working late and dads home. His dad even let him come to the police station and sit in his chair at his office. That day was the best day of his life. He plays T-ball and both mommy and daddy never miss a game. Now he'll be going to school and he knows he's a big boy. His grandma Lisa has taught him a lot and he's reading with some help. His dad said that one day soon he would ride in a real police car with the sirens blaring. He can't wait.

**_Evangeline Williamson McBain Esq - _**Is a very happily married woman. She is madly in love with her husband and extremely proud of her family. The year before Tommy's birth was the toughest in her life. The calm that came after that storm felt surreal. Even now she marvels at how they overcame it. Natalie's death took a toll on them the first year of their marriage. Not because of any misplaced guilt. John was much healthier in that respect. Because it was their wedding day and it happened at their new home. They sold the house a year later and started a new in another home. She knew that John had a fondness for that home but it was necessary to leave the ghosts of Natalie and Christian behind. She loves being a mother and the two boys in her life are her entire world. Having her mom and sister around has been both uplifting and draining. But that's family. Currently she and Antonio have a partnership in criminal law they launched together. All in all Evangeline is very happy with her life.

**_John McBain_** - Is devoted to his family. His son Tommy is his entire world. He spends all of his free time entertaining and nurturing his boy. They love baseball and since Tommy joined a t-ball league he's constantly in their backyard playing with him. Sometimes he has to remind himself to cater to his wonderful wife's needs…which isn't too hard. He was devastated at the murder of Natalie. He spent many months with Dr Jamison working though it. Eventually the only way to make a clean break for his family was to sell the house he loved and start fresh. It was the best decision he could've made. Evangeline's mom and he got along better but after the fiasco at the wedding she waged a private campaign with Evangeline for her leave him. His Vangie was having none of that and made it clear if she wanted Tommy in her life she would respect her marriage. Lisa kept her mouth shut about their marriage after that. He and Antonio are still best friends and support each other. They interact socially a lot now since he is with Evangeline's sister. His life is drama free and has been since his son came into the world. He actually believes now in the happiness he has.

**_RJ Gannon_** - He lost custody of Jamie but has liberal visitation rights. He and Antonio tolerate each other for the sake of Jamie but the hostility is there. He bought back his club Capricorn and still sees Lindsey on occasion. His heart after all these years still belongs to Evangeline. But he's recently picked up on Laylas frustration. She's come by Ultraviolet several nights for a drink. She reminds him of his Van and he uses her as a source of information as to what is going on in her life. After Natalie's death and the birth of Evangeline's son his contact with her is non existent. The few times she sees him she smiles and is polite but it's like she's looking at a stranger. It pains him deeply. He struggles with his feelings for her constantly.

So life in Llanview is pretty much the same. Everyone leading their lives and colliding with each other ever so often. The McBain family is really excited with Tommy entering kindergarten. The new adventure for Tommy into grade school will be a pivotal point in the JOVAN love story. This story is not one of drama or violence. It is one of LOVE that will be tested to the core. Some of you Jovan lovers will be hurt, sad, happy, ecstatic, angry, and maybe even ready to kill me. But as you read and feel the pain of John and Evangeline always remember! JOVAN IS THE END GAME BABY!

Back to Index

Chapter 2: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline opened her eyes and rolled over. John lay next to her sleeping peacefully. She moved his hair from his face and kissed his nose. He didn't stir. Today was Saturday and Tommy's t-ball game was set for 11 am. She looked over at the clock and it said 7:45 maybe she could get a quickie before her baby woke up. She moved lower down the bed and kissed John on the lips.

He still didn't respond. 

Gently she slipped her hand under the covers and grabbed his manhood. Now he moved, but didn't open his eyes. She stroked it softly applying more pressure gradually. She looked in his face and saw his blue eyes open staring at her. She smiled and slipped him the tongue. John moaned and lay on his back pulling her on top of him. He slid his hand under the covers and started pulling at the hem of her nightgown up to feel her thigh.

Evangeline stopped the massage she gave him and lifted her gown under the sheets. She straddled him and positioned herself. She saw John close his eyes and bite his lip. She helped him guide himself into her and bent over to kiss his neck. He moaned still holding onto her hips matching her rhythm. She stuck her tongue in his ear and he moaned louder. She could feel him shudder between her thighs and she looked him in the face.

"Not yet baby" she whispered and smiled.

John forced his tongue in her mouth and fought the urge to come. Just when Evangeline was going to release him they heard a little knock at the door.

"Mommy…can I come in" Tommy said sleepily knocking and getting ready to turn the knob.

Evangeline jumped and climbed off of John quickly before Tommy pushed the door open. John cried out in pain at the suddenness of her maneuver and she gave him a I'm sorry look. Tommy walked into the room and headed to his moms side of bed.

"Mommy I want cereal" he said rubbing his eyes sleepily

Evangeline smiled and ran her hands through his thick curls. "Okay sweetie go brush your teeth and mommy is coming right down"

Tommy looked over at John "Hi daddy!" he said

"Hey Tomster!" John said using his pet nick name for him. "You ready for your game today buddy?"  
Tommy reached up and tried to climb on the bed and Evangeline pulled him along. He crawled over to John and tackled him "I sure am daddy. I'm going to make a touchdown!" he said smiling

John laughed "No Tommy it's a homerun. Touchdown is for football remember" he said tickling him

"Oh..okay daddy a homer run then!" he said   
John just laughed and pulled him into a bear hug

Evangeline watched them wrestle and sighed "There goes my morning nookie" she thought getting out of bed and pulling down her gown. John grabbed her hand before she stood up "Where are you going?" he said giving her a seductive look with Tommy tackling his head

She winked at him "We'll finish later" she said

John pouted at her jokingly "All right mommy" he said pulling Tommy off of his head  
Evangeline laughed and headed to the door then turned around "Sweetie didn't I tell you to brush your teeth?" she asked

Tommy looked up "Awwee mom" he said

Evangeline smiled "How about you help me make pancakes when you're done?" she asked

Tommy jumped up on the bed cheering. "Yeah I want to make some panty cakes!" he screamed trying to climb down the bed.

John looked at him confused "Panty cakes?" he said laughing.

Evangeline laughed and walked out of the room as Tommy shot pass her heading for his bathroom. "Slow down honey" she called after him.

She walked down the stairs into the kitchen, upset that she left her slippers upstairs. The hardwood floor was cold. She went to the thermostat and turned down the air. Walking into the kitchen she heard the phone ring and went into the kitchen to answer it.

"Hello" she said getting out the pancake batter  
"Van, its Layla is Mom going to Tommy's game today?" Layla asked  
"Why are you up so early?" Evangeline asked surprised at the call.  
"Antonio and I had a fight last night so he slept on the couch and I tossed and turned all night" she sighed  
"Layla what are you fighting about?" Evangeline asked concerned. Going to the bottom pantry to get Tommy's step stool he uses when he helps her cook.  
"Forget that now…answer the question…Is mom coming?" she asked  
Evangeline sighed again, she was tired of refereeing these two "No her ceramic class is this Saturday"

Layla smiled "Good Jamie has a game at the same park at 12 so we will see you guys there"  
"Fine, see you soon" Evangeline said hanging up.

"Mommy you said I could make the panty cakes" Tommy said with his arms folded. 

Evangeline looked down and smiled "Let me see those teeth" she said

Tommy smiled big for her and John stepped in behind him rubbing his head. "Babe why don't you let me and Tommy do that for you today" he said smiling at her

Evangeline turned around from the mixture she was preparing at him surprised "Are you serious?" she asked

John walked in and kissed the inside of her neck and slipped his arm around her waist. "This means you owe me twice" he whispered huskily in her ear.

Tommy wrapped his arms around his dads legs "Daddy lets make panty cakes!" he sang

Evangeline kissed John on the lips and pulled out of his embrace. "You boys have at it while I take a shower and get his uniform ready." She said walking out of the kitchen.

She looked back at John helping Tommy step up on stool and handing him the wooden spoon to stir. She loved the men in her life.

Layla got up from bed and went to the living room. It was still really early and Antonio was sleeping on the sofa. Last night she had asked Carlotta to come over and watch Jamie while she went out to Ultraviolet. Antonio had to work late but got in before she did and was not pleased.

He accused her of being selfish, which infuriated her. It's her mom's favorite description of her. She walked over the couch and knelt next to him. He was beautiful when he slept. She took her fingers and ran them lightly over his hair. He stirred and turned over so that his face was in front of hers. She kissed him until he responded and started to kiss her back. Pulling back she looked into his face.

"I'm sorry" she said softly  
"Me too" he said smiling.

She sat back on her heels. "How about we get dressed and take Jamie to breakfast before her game today" she asked

Antonio looked at his watch and shook his head "It's barely 8 o'clock" he said "Why don't you make us something instead" he replied

Layla rolled her eyes "Of course I live to serve" she said rising and stomping off.

Antonio rolled his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. Lately they couldn't spend five minutes together without frustrating each other. He loved her deeply but he was tired of her sulking. He would talk to Evangeline to find out what was troubling Layla because she wouldn't communicate with him. Her trips to Ultraviolet kept him concerned. He'd heard of how friendly she was with RJ. He listened to her slamming pots and sat up on the sofa. "Layla…" he said

"Yes" she said without looking at him  
"Let's go have breakfast" he said smiling  
She looked at him and smiled "Cool let me get Jamie up" she said walking down the hall.

Evangeline set up her lawn chair next to the cooler that John dropped in their usual spot. She then set up his chair but knew that he wouldn't be sitting in it. Each game John was in the dugout more than coach. He of course felt that Tommy could now hit the ball with out the T but Evangeline told him to let the coach decide. She put on her shades and leaned back when she heard her name. She looked up, walking toward her was Antonio, Layla and Jamie. She waved at them. Jamie ran up and gave her a hug. 

"Jamie don't you look cute in your uniform? Which side of the park are you playing on?" she asked. Jamie pointed to the further left side of the park "Over there I think" she said smiling "Where's Tommy" she asked.

Evangeline pointed to the dugout closets to them John of course was in there with the coaches. Jamie ran off in that direction.

Antonio dropped the cooler and chairs around his shoulder and walked over too. 

Evangeline looked at Layla standing there looking bored "Layla what's up?" she asked  
Layla looked down at her sister and shrugged picking up one of the folding chairs and pulling it out of the bag. She set it up next to Evangeline and sighed

"Vange can I ask you a personal question" she asked

Evangeline smiled and nodded

"Ever wonder what your life would be like if you hadn't fell in love with John?" she asked under her breath  
Evangeline knew what was going on. She was surprised it took her sister 5 years to get there. Layla was a hobo at heart. She never envisioned domestic living and only signed on board for it because she fell in love with Antonio. Antonio mentioned her late nights at ultraviolet lately and his suspicion that she was chummy with RJ.

"Layla I was empty inside before I fell in love with John so no I never entertain those thoughts" she said looking at her sister confused

"Oh Vange, that's an exaggeration. You were with RJ and I doubt seriously that, that man made you feel empty" she said rolling her eyes

"RJ?" Evangeline frowned "Where did that come from?" she asked sitting up and looking at her sister intensely

Layla sighed and sat back in the chair "I was wrong to talk to you. Forget it" she huffed

"Layla let me give you some advice sweetheart. That man over there standing with his daughter, he loves you. And that kind of love is not something you toss aside for wanderlust. I don't know what's got you restless now but reflect on what brought you to Llanview in the first place. You did the fast party life and found nothing in it. Trust me in the five years you've been out of that scene nothing has changed" she said still focusing on her sister who stared at Antonio talking to John.

"Sometimes Vange you miss the forest for the trees and I get that, but I am who I am and right now I need something. I just don't know what it is" she said wistfully

Evangeline frowned "Well I can tell you what it isn't and that's RJ Gannon" she said

Layla shot her a heated look "Why do you hate the man? He speaks fondly of you" she snapped

Evangeline pulled her shades off her face "Layla stay away from the man, he's trouble."

Evangeline saw Tommy step up to the plate ready to hit the ball on the 'T'. She got up glancing back at her sister and then ran over to watch her baby swing the bat under John's instruction.

Layla looked around the park at the kids and families. She looked at Antonio cheering Tommy on to the next base with John and Evangeline.

She loved him, but she was sure it wasn't enough.

After the game Evangeline promised her mom that they would drop Tommy off for a couple of hours. She'd packed a change of clothes and John got out of the car and walked him to the door. Lisa kissed Tommy and let him inside and waved at Evangeline. Evangeline waved back and backed out of the driveway when John got back into the car.

"Vange I still say Tommy doesn't need that T anymore" John said

Evangeline was deep in thought so she didn't catch what he said.

"What's wrong?" John asked her  
"Layla" Evangeline said turning heading to their home  
John frowned "How so?" he asked  
"I think something is going on with her and RJ" she said

John raised his eyebrows. "What?" he said shocked 

"It's just a feeling" Evangeline said driving not looking at John  
"What gives you this feeling?" he asked  
"I can't explain it…but I hope I'm wrong" she said  
John looked out the window "Me too" he said under his breath

When they arrived home John went to get the mail and Evangeline headed in the house. She wanted to shower and relax before it was time to get Tommy. She headed to the bedroom and as soon as she stepped in it she started to shed her clothes.

Walking into their bathroom she smiled. She loved the large glass enclosed dual shower head shower they had. She turned on the water and stood under the sprout. Soon the bathroom door opened and she knew John was inside. She smiled to herself when he opened the steamed up shower door.

"You couldn't wait for me?" he asked smiling

She turned around and looked at his body as he entered the shower "I knew you would come" she said giggling

John walked to her standing up under the sprout forcing her to be pinned up on the wall.

"Why did you tease me like that this morning?" he asked her his face close to hers.  
"I wanted to finish but…." she stated before he forced his tongue into her mouth.

Evangeline dropped the soap and put her arms around his neck. The steam of the shower coupled with it pouring down on her and him made it hard to see his need for her. But his hands were all over her body. He grabbed her and lifted her up and she immediately wrapped her legs around him. He entered her easily and she clung tighter. Once a week they found time to do this dance in the shower and she enjoyed each time like it was the first. The way he controlled her made her weak and she gave into every demand his body made of hers.

When they were done both of them had to move their hair out of their faces. She walked out of the shower and dried herself off. John followed still grabbing at her body. She let him hold onto her and kiss her neck as she wiped at his shoulder and back with the towel. When he finally released her she gave him the towel and grabbed her thick robe. She climbed up on the bed hair wet and all but didn't care. He came out of the bathroom and climbed on the bed with her. He opened her robe and grabbed her breast forcing it into his mouth. She moaned "John I'm exhausted" she tried to protest. He looked up at her taking her nipple out of his mouth. "I told you owed me twice" he said smiling. She laughed and let him have his way with her again. When they were done they laid in silence

She thought about the question Layla posed to her today in reference to her relationship with RJ. She looked up at John and saw his eyes closed. She knew that there was no other love for her other than his love and she wouldn't change a thing.

They were a Family.

Back to Index

Chapter 3: PAST and PRESENT 

"McBain" John answered

"Are you going to be able to make it?" Evangeline asked holding the phone up with her shoulder as she pulled the car out of her office building

"I want too Vangie, You know I wouldn't miss it for the world but we got a raid tonight and I have to make sure it goes off okay" John sighed

Evangeline rolled her eyes "Your son is going to be devastated" she said in frustration

John held the phone. Evangeline knew that was a low blow, all Tommy has been talking about is this open house. 

"Sorry, John I know it can't be helped" Evangeline said when the phone got silent. She knew if he could be there he would

"Look, tell Tommy that I will definitely take him on his first day of school next week." He said hoping that would help

"Actually baby I think he would prefer that, plus I have court early that morning so it would be perfect" Evangeline said

"Are you taking your mom?" John said signaling for Bo to come into his office

Evangeline sighed again "I guess I could call her, but John you know she's a retired teacher and I don't feel like any debate on this school I've chosen"  
"Honey, I'm sorry Bo just came into the office and I really need to go. Call Lisa and take her, we'll talk about it tonight" he said hurriedly  
"Love you" Evangeline said hanging up.

She looked at the phone. She wished they didn't have such demanding careers. Tommy was their priority but every now and then they missed their target with him. Her mom was a great help but she didn't like including her in major events that affected the way she and her husband raised their son.

She looked at the phone. Maybe Lisa could provide some insight into the school program and Tommy's teacher. Evangeline picked up the phone and called her mom.

"Hey Sweetie" Lisa answered  
"Mom, what are you doing now?" she asked

"Getting Tommy ready for you to take him to open house" she said smiling at Tommy who was in her back yard playing with her dog Leslie.

"Well get dressed…John has to work late and I was thinking maybe you could join us" she said looking at the clock in the car wondering if she had enough time to get home and change first.

The traffic was really thick today

Lisa got quiet "Open house is important Cookie doesn't John know that?" she asked

Evangeline bit her lip "Yes he knows now do you want to come or not?" she snipped  
"Oh yes, I would love too. I'll get ready." Lisa said trying to make up for the slip. She loved John too but she would never believe that he and her cookie were a right fit.

"Fine…I will be there in an hour I'm going home to change first" she said hanging up.

Bo looked at John concerned "Everything okay?" he asked

John looked up from the warrant he was handed and nodded "Sure Tommy has Open house today, Vangie was a little aggravated that I couldn't come" he said

Bo nodded "Went through that with Matthew…don't make it a habit or you won't have any peace in your home" Bo laughed

John smiled "It's cool." He said "But this warrant is all wrong. Why is the judge not allowing us access to the warehouse as well?"

Bo rolled his eyes "I told Nora that we needed the warehouse but I don't think she got behind it. She thinks that the loading dock and boat is all we need to secure an indictment"

John slammed the paper down on his desk in frustration. "Fine, but I am telling you Bo this operation hangs on what we find tonight. After that our cover is blown and the whole case will fall apart!" he said getting up and putting on his suit jacket.

Bo nodded and walked out saying "Good luck" over his shoulder.

Evangeline walked into the classroom holding Tommy's hand. He oooohed and ahhhhed at everything he saw   
"Mom! look at my school" he said  
"Mom, look at the giraffe, look there's an elephant!" he said at the decorated walls on the wing of the kindergarten classrooms.  
Lisa admired how colorful everything was. She believed in public school and felt that Evangeline shouldn't pay the expense for private school for Tommy, but so far the school seemed impressive.

They walked into the classroom and Tommy immediately let go of her hand and ran over the aquarium where the other kids were looking at fish. Evangeline saw the little desk and chairs and smiled at her mom "Do you think you can get that low" she asked jokingly. Lisa laughed "Nope" she said.

Another parent came up to her and introduced herself "Hi, I'm Robin and this is my husband Pete" she said sweetly

Evangeline shook their hands and introduced her mother. They continued into the classroom looking down reading the desks until they found Thomas McBain. Evangeline teared up, her baby was growing up.

Tommy came running up to her "Mom, they have a fish that looks like a tiny shark" he said grinning. Evangeline smiled and told him to lower his voice. Tommy ran over to Lisa "Grandma come see please!" he said

Lisa allowed him to pull her away. Evangeline threw her hands up in frustration. Guess she will show him his desk later. She picked up the packet on the desk for him and opened it.

"Hello are you Ms. McBain?" Evangeline heard a soft voice ask. She looked up to see who she assumed was Tommy's teacher. The woman was petite and very attractive. She had medium brown hair and wore rimless glasses. She was a little older than Evangeline but appeared to be vibrant and youthful "Why yes I am" Evangeline smiled and held out her hand. 

"Please to meet you I'm Ms. Schaffer," the woman said warmly.

Evangeline looked over at Tommy and her mom and waved them over to her. "Tommy this is Ms. Schaffer she will be your teacher" Evangeline said making the introduction.

Tommy grinned at her "Hello, you're very pretty" he said looking up at her.

Evangeline looked at the teacher a little hurt, she never heard her baby refer to any woman other than her as pretty. She laughed off her pang of jealousy.

Ms Schaffer knelt down to Tommy "Why you're very handsome she said shaking his hand. Are you excited about Kindergarten?" she asked

Tommy nodded his head up and down. Evangeline grabbed his hand and showed him his desk and watched his eyes get big

"Oh cool mommy I have my own desk and it has my name on it!" he said jumping in the seat. Tommy was very proud that he knew how to spell his name

Evangeline turned back to the teacher and asked her questions about the curriculum and what was expected of Tommy. Lisa of course interjected quite often and even asked if she could sit in on the class sometimes.

Ms. Schaffer was very gracious and offered that they do have grandparents day and she looked forward to seeing her then. Evangeline smiled at the way the teacher handled her mom. Ms. Schaffer seemed to be a seasoned professional. The teacher excused herself to greet the other parents arriving.

Evangeline looked across the classroom and saw Tommy over on the other side playing with another child.

"Cookie I think this is an excellent school" Lisa said beaming

Evangeline nodded "Glad you approve Mom" she said, "I think we should leave now it's getting late." Evangeline called Tommy over who looked at her hurt because he knew it was time to go.

He walked over slowly with his head down sulking. She grabbed his hand and went back to Ms. Schaffer.

"My husband will be bringing Tommy on the first day. It was a pleasure to meet you" Evangeline said smiling. Ms Schaffer looked at her stunned for a moment then recovered and shook her hand. Evangeline found that odd.

Ms. Schaffer bent down to Tommy "I bet you're just like your daddy." She said smiling

Tommy smiled at her "I sure am! He's the best daddy in the whole world even bigger and stronger than Batman!" he said

Everyone laughed and Evangeline pulled Tommy out of the classroom.

Lisa walked beside her with a frown on her face "That was rude" Lisa said  
Evangeline looked at her confused "What was rude?" Evangeline asked  
"The way she behaved when you said his daddy was bringing him. It's like she thought you were a single parent or something because John didn't come tonight" Lisa huffed

Evangeline looked at her mom frustrated "Please don't start" she said using the keyless remote to open the car door. Lisa rolled her eyes and got into the car.

Evangeline felt John slide into bed with her and opened her eyes and looked at the clock. It was 4:15 am. He got close and pulled her up under him and she rolled over "Did it go okay?" she asked sleepily. 

"Nope, but lets talk about that later" he said kissing her lips.

Evangeline smiled and pulled away slightly looking in his face

"Aren't you tired?" she asked

"Never too tired to make love to my wife" he said rubbing her thighs and slipping his hand between her legs. She giggled and moved so his hand could go further up

"How was Tommy's teacher?" he asked nibbling her ear  
"Let's talk about that later," she said slipping him the tongue and pulling him on top of her. She opened her legs for him and waited for him to enter her. He looked her in the eyes and she saw in the dark the passion he still had for her.

"I Love you," he said kissing her nose and pushing further inside of her.  
"I love you too" she moaned and closed her eyes clinging to him.

Their lovemaking was brief but just as explosive. He rolled off of her and lay on his side with his arm around her.   
"John," she said  
"Mmmhmm" he moaned giving into his exhaustion  
"Make sure that you take him his first day, its important to him," she said softly  
John opened his eyes a little hurt by what she said, "Vangie, I'm sorry about tonight. I will take Tommy to school no matter what," he said rubbing her belly and then massaging her breast.

Evangeline smiled. "Good" she said going back to sleep.

Back to Index

Chapter 4: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline threw her briefcase on her desk angrily. Antonio walking by caught her mood and knocked on her door.

"Evangeline are you okay?" he asked

Evangeline went to her chair and flopped down in the frustration "We have a major setback in Whittaker case" she said angrily

Antonio walked in and closed her door "Let me guess Nora got the confession admitted" he said wearily

"Worse…Judge Ellsworth is allowing the DNA evidence." Evangeline said running both hands through her hair and resting her elbows on her desk.

Antonio shook his head "Evangeline the man's guilty. You know this," he said gently

Evangeline shot him an angry look "I'm a defense attorney It's not my job to determine his guilt, I am here to give him a good defense" she shot angrily

"Accept the plea deal Nora is offering. I think it's your clients best shot" Antonio said

Evangeline dropped her head in her hands "I could have won this one Antonio, I was really close" she said frustrated. Then they heard a knock on her door.

Layla opened it and stuck her head in "Hey guys I hope I'm not interrupting" she said smiling 

Antonio got up and smiled. He walked over to Layla and scooped her up. "This is a pleasant surprised" he said kissing her neck. Layla giggled and gave him a heated kiss.

Evangeline looked at them amused. Just this weekend that girl was questioning the meaning of it all and today she was all over the man.

Antonio broke away "I have to be in court in a hour, is this visit for me?" he asked smiling

Layla pecked him on the lips and smiled "Nope me and my sister have to meet Marcie at Capricorn to discuss the wedding" she said looking at Evangeline who looked like a deer caught in headlights.

Evangeline completely forgot about their lunch date. "Layla oh my god I forgot. I have so much work to do today." She said.

"Vange you can't do this…this is Marcie's wedding" Layla said walking over to her sister's desk with her hands on her hips.

Antonio motioned behind Layla's back good luck and walked out.

Evangeline smiled. "Okay…lets go. I'll call mom and tell her that John will pick up Tommy when he gets off because looks like I'll be pulling an all nighter." She said getting her purse and following Layla out.

John walked into Michael's office. He figured he stop by and take his brother to lunch.  
"Hey Bro" he said closing his door  
"Hey, What brings you by?" Michael said smiling up at him.  
"Just figured we catch up," John said sitting down  
"Well I've been super busy but I did want to call you about the fishing trip next week with Tommy, I'm going to have to cancel" he said closing the folder he was working in.

John frowned "Mikey you were the one that brought this up to Tommy….I don't even like to fish" 

Michael nodded "I know and it can't be helped. We have a lot going on that day. I have to be here," he said leaning back in his chair.

John sighed and threw up his hands "Well maybe Bo and Matthew can come, they fish all the time" he said trying to find a way not to disappoint his son.

Mike smiled "So how is Evangeline?" he asked changing the subject. He felt guilty enough.

"She's good. We're good. Our anniversary is next month and I have no idea what to do for this one." He laughed

Michael laughed too.  
John got serious and looked at Michael "Want to run something by you" he said

Michael nodded and sat up straight.

"I'm thinking about asking Evangeline to have another baby," he said slowly

Michael raised his eyebrows shocked. "Really? That's cool," he said

"With everything that happened with Tommy's birth is it okay to try again?" he asked  
Michael thought about the question "Well there's a strong likely hood she could have diabetes in her next pregnancy. But she was never pre-eclampsia like we feared…which in itself was a miracle considering what you two had been through" he said

John rubbed his jaw "I want Tommy to have a sibling. I just don't know how Vangie feels about it," he said

Michael smiled "Well I suggest you find out" he laughed

Evangeline and Layla saw Marcie sitting with the wedding coordinator and walked over. Marcie stood up "Hey guys, this is Felicia Marshall and she's going to help us" she said making the introductions.

Evangeline breathed a sigh of relief that they had a coordinator because her schedule was hectic. Layla, however pouted and turned up her nose. "Marcie, I thought we were going to plan it," she asked eyeing the coordinator suspiciously

Marcie blushed at the rudeness and Evangeline pulled Laylas arm

"Layla it's Marcie's wedding she can include as many people she like" she said through her teeth.

"Oh its okay Vange" Marcie said quickly "I only invited Felicia so she could give us an idea of what we're facing" Marcie said smiling

Layla smiled "I'm sorry Felicia nice to meet you." She said extending her hand. Evangeline smiled and looked at Marcie "Okay now show us what you have," she said excitedly.

The girls went over color patterns and floral arrangements. Trying to come to agreement on something. RJ stepped out from his office and saw them at the table. He looked at Evangeline smiling and joking with everyone. He wanted to approach. He made eye contact with Layla who blushed and rose to come to him.

"Excuse me everyone" Layla said rising from her seat.  
Evangeline looked up to see where she was headed. She frowned at RJ who smiled and winked at her. Marcie looked at Evangeline's face "What's wrong?" she asked

"I don't like this friendship that's blossomed with him and my sister" she said staring at Layla hug RJ.

Marcie turned around to observe. "Oh Vange, RJ's harmless..plus Antonio is way hotter" she said

Evangeline burst out laughing, "Yea I guess you're right." She picked up the pattern and went back to discussing the wedding. She kept glancing at them inspite of herself

"RJ, What's going on" Layla said hugging him.

RJ smiled at her and looked at Evangeline, he could tell she wasn't too happy with the scene so he winked at her.

"Layla and how are you today?" he asked

Layla leaned on the bar. "I'm good. Ultra violet was super hot the other night," she said grinning.

RJ smiled at her. There was something inviting about her that he couldn't deny. "Well I have news for you. Tomorrow night a friend of mine from New York is having dinner with me here" he said  
"Well how is that news for me?" she said frowning.  
"This friend Layla is a casting director for the soap opera One Life to Live," he said seriously

Laylas mouth dropped open. "Are you serious!" she said jumping up and down and hugging him.

RJ looked over her shoulder to see Evangeline frown and rise to approach them.

He pulled Layla off him "Calm down it's not an audition I just thought you two should meet"

Evangeline walked up "What's going on?" she asked looking at Layla concerned

Layla turned around and smiled at her "RJ is going to introduce me to a casting director for One Life to Live" she said grinning.

"Oh really?" Evangeline said folding her arms and giving RJ a heated look. 

"Layla, Marcie is ready to decide on music for the wedding. She wants to talk to you" Evangeline said not taking her eyes off RJ who stood before her smiling.

"Vange, don't do that!" Layla snapped "Don't dismiss me like a 12 year old!" 

Evangeline turned to her sister. "I want to talk to him will you excuse us!" she snapped back.

Layla looked at her hurt and stormed off to the table with Marcie  
Evangeline turned back around to face RJ "What are you doing?" she asked heatedly  
"Nice to see you too Evangeline" RJ said smiling  
"RJ, what are you up too? Why are you scheming on my sister?" she asked impatiently  
"Scheming?" RJ said with a fake look of hurt placing his hands on his chest. "I just invited her to meet a friend."

Evangeline put her hands on her hips "Listen to me because I am only going to say this once to you. I will not let you use Layla to get back at Antonio for taking Jamie away from you" she said with a challenging look on her face.

RJ stared at her. After all these years she still didn't have a clue. Antonio is not the person he's trying to get at. She is. "Your sister is a grown woman" RJ said walking from her to go around his bar. 

Evangeline stepped closer to the bar "My sister is a naïve woman. And for some reason she thinks you're her friend. I won't let you hurt her. She's happy with Antonio so stay out of it." She said angrily

"Are you happy" he asked while fixing a drink  
"What?" Evangeline asked confused

RJ changed the subject "If Layla is so happy why is she frequenting Ultra Violet? You should have seen her the other night she was the last person to leave," he said chuckling.

Evangeline looked at him with hatred. He didn't fool her. He was trying get back at Antonio. "You've been warned," she said turning on her heel and walking off.

RJ watched her retreat and drank from his glass. "Yes Van I've been warned" he smirked. He looked over at Layla and nodded she blushed and smiled back.

John knocked on the Lisa's door. He heard Tommy yelling, "It's my daddy! It's my daddy!" and smiled to himself

Lisa opened the door "Hey John, you're early" she said a little disappointed.

John got the feeling if he or Vangie never picked up Tommy Lisa would be happy.

Tommy ran past his grandma and jumped at John who caught him and picked him up "I thought that maybe we could go to the Pizza Bizarre and get a slice of pizza" he said tickling Tommy. 

Lisa frowned "That place is so greasy" she said handing him Tommy's bag.

"I won't tell mommy if you won't" he said looking at Tommy smiling.

Tommy through his arms around his daddy's neck and whispered in his ear. "Its our secret daddy" he said

John laughed and winked at Lisa walking back to the car. Tommy of course asked for the 100th time to ride in the front and John told him no. They waved and backed out of the driveway heading to pizza bizarre.

Evangeline walked back into her office still aggravated. Layla could tell she was mad at her and closed the door. They hadn't said two words since Capricorn

"Vange, its just dinner" Layla said softly

Evangeline looked up from her desk at Layla "Are you willing to sacrifice your relationship with Antonio?" she asked disappointingly

Layla folded her arms and blinked away the tear she felt forming "I love him Vange, I just want something for me." She said weakly

"Then talk to him Layla, he's crazy about you, include him in on your dreams. It's been the key to happiness for me and John. We don't keep secrets. Anything that affects the both of us is always discussed," she said patiently

Layla looked at her sister who she admired. To her mom and the rest of the world Evangeline was perfect. No one in this town had a bad thing to say about her. Even with her defending criminal scumbags daily. She never compared to Evangeline. The only thing that she had that was all hers was acting and she gave it up to win her mom and sisters respect. Now it was her shot again and she couldn't let it slip away.

"I will talk to him, but I don't want you telling mom about this" she said

Evangeline rolled her eyes "Layla trust me I don't tell mom everything" she said smiling

Layla wiped at the loose tear that fell and it melted Evangeline's heart. She got up and went to her sister and hugged her.

"If acting is what you want to pursue Layla I support you a 100" she said rubbing her back

Layla pulled away shocked "Really!" she said  
"Really!" she smiled "But I want you to also respect the man you claim to love and tell him everything in your heart. He has a stake in this too," she said seriously.  
Layla nodded and hugged her sister again.

John cut Tommy's pizza up for him the way Evangeline usually does. Tommy sat next to his dad swinging his legs and smiling. His dad always did a special treat for them when mommy had to work late.

"Daddy" he said  
"Yes" John said  
"I met my teacher," he said smiling  
"I heard, what's she like," he asked  
"PRRREEETTTYYYY" Tommy said taking the fork from his dad and eating some pizza.

John raised his eyebrow. "Oh really?" John laughed. He never heard Tommy call a woman pretty. "I see you like her" he said watching him eat and rubbing his head. 

"Yep, mommy said you were taking me next time" he said looking up at his dad with a mouthful "If you don't have to work" he said innocently

John blinked at him a little surprised "Why would you say that Tommy?" he said hurt. He should have skipped that raid the other night it turned out to be a waste of time anyway and it obviously hurt his son.

Tommy smiled swallowing his food "Because you're a super hero and you never know when you have to go save someone" he said matter of factly.

John smiled to himself "Tommy bragged constantly to everyone that his dad was a hero. He tried several times to explain his job to his son but each time his boys interpretation was HERO" his heart swelled and he rubbed his back.

"How about we rent a movie when we leave here" he asked his son  
"Cool…can we get the one that mommy said would be okay next time?" he asked with his eyes big  
"You bet kid!" he said laughing trying to remember the approved movies Evangeline suggested.

Evangeline opened the door to a dark house.

It was after midnight and she knew her boys were asleep. She turned on the alarm and walked into the house. She heard the soft lull of the TV in the family room and knew immediately what it meant.

She walked in to see the DVD menu flashing for them to play the movie. On the couch was John with Tommy lay on his chest both knocked out. Evangeline leaned over and kissed Tommy's forehead and then John's lips. John opened his eyes and smiled at her. She looked at him and placed her briefcase on the chair across from them and then picked up the empty popcorn bowl and soda cans.

She gave John a look of are you crazy and he grinned sheepishly. John lifted up and put Tommy on his shoulder "How was your day baby" he whispered.

"Very interesting" she said picking up the wrappers from the marshmallow cakes they ate. John did this when he felt guilty. She guessed he probably gave him pizza too.

He looked at her cleaning up and smiled "Sorry guess I got carried away"  
Evangeline shook her head. "Take him to bed I will meet you upstairs." She said heading to the kitchen

When Evangeline got upstairs John was already laying across the bed. She was so tired all she wanted to do was sleep. She started to undress and went to the dresser to get her gown. "Don't wear it tonight" he said seductively

She looked over at him and knew what he wanted. She smiled "We are just going to sleep" she said suspiciously  
"Yep we are going to sleep," he said mischievously

She peeled off her clothes and headed to the shower. That was a great stall tactic when she wanted sleep for the night. John got up and followed her into the bathroom. "Nope you aren't pulling that tonight," he said

She laughed and let him push her into the shower turning it on. No matter what the circumstance she couldn't resist him.

Back to Index

Chapter 5: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline opened Tommy's lunch box.

Last night he and John decided to pack his lunch. Inside was a peanut butter and jelly sandwich; chips, a cream cake and fruit roll up. She smiled and pulled it all out. She repacked it with a fresh sandwich and apple.

John walked in the kitchen behind her and kissed her on the head. "Any coffee?" he asked groggily.

Evangeline smiled and looked down at her watch "Yes it's already brewed and I'm late. Tommy's clothes are across his chair in the room and his lunch is packed. Don't sneak any sweets in there" she said giving him a look.

John smiled and poured the coffee "His teachers name is Ms. Schaffer and they are on the separate kindergarten wing" she said grabbing her briefcase.

She turned and looked at John who was watching her "Are you sure you don't need me to come with you?" she asked worried

He smiled "I have this Vange, just go we'll be fine." He said

She walked over and kissed him on the lips. He slipped his arm around her waist and gave her a more passionate kiss. Making her forget that she was late for court.  
He finally let her go and looked in her face lovingly "We'll be fine" he said bumping foreheads with her.

She smiled back "Today is his first day of school John and I am so nervous. What if he gets scared? What if he needs me?" she said softly

"He's a big boy," John said chuckling  
"Yea I'm a big boy," Tommy said from behind her.

She turned around and he was standing in his policeman pajamas with his toy badge in his hand.

She knelt down to him. "Mommy knows you are a big boy, she's just excited about your big day," she said kissing him.

"I'm excited too!" he said throwing his arms around her neck. Evangeline picked him up and looked at him "You be good and tonight we will celebrate, what do you want me to cook?" she asked

"Spaghetti!" he said grinning.

She put him down smiling "Spaghetti it is!" she said running her hands through his thick curls. She picked up her briefcase and blew John a kiss "I will call you when I am out of court to see how it went!" she said rushing to the door.

John looked down at his son "Well Tomster, lets get ready for school" he said  
"Yay! Tommy said running toward the stairs  
John put down his coffee cup and headed toward the stairs as well.

John held Tommy's little hand as they entered the kindergarten wing. Parents like him were everywhere. Today was the first day for everyone on this wing. 

Tommy looked up at him with fear in his eyes

"Daddy" he said weakly  
"Yes" he said smiling at him  
"You will come back and get me right?" Tommy said  
John looked at him confused "Of course Tomster!  
Grandma Lisa is going to pick you up at 2" he said smiling

Tommy's face brightened "Cool" he said, then got all excited "This is it Daddy! This is my classroom"

John pulled open the door and Tommy ran to his desk. He saw the other parents putting their kids backpacks on the colorful hooks and walked over to Tommy "Lets put up your backpack and lunchbox fist." He said

Tommy grinned and ran past him to the rack. He looked at the bins for the one with his sons name on it to put up his lunch box and heard a soft-spoken voice behind him. "Mr. McBain" the woman said.  
John turned around and was so shocked that he dropped Tommy's lunch box spilling all of its contents.

Evangeline walked out of court. It was now 11am and she fiddled in her purse for her phone. She opened it and saw no messages from John. I guess that meant that everything went well today.

She called his cell and got his voicemail. No problem she had to go to the station anyway to see Nora.

John sat in the house on the deck drinking a beer. What he saw today had him shaken to the core. He stared out across their lawn and let the tears fall. He didn't know what to do.

Evangeline walked into the station. She saw the light off in John's office and got confused. He didn't say that he would be in the field today. She turned and headed for Nora's office. She knocked and came in. 

"Hey Nora" she said smiling  
"Hey you" Nora said smiling up at her  
"How did Tommy's first day go?" Nora asked excitedly  
"I don't know…can't find my husband" she said laughing and sitting  
Nora frowned. "He called and said he wasn't coming in today, I wanted to discuss another warrant and Bo told me," Nora said.

Evangeline looked at her confused. "That's strange he didn't tell me that?" she said softly

"Well what brings you by my office" Nora asked

Evangeline still was confused at John not coming into  
work. That wasn't like him. She looked at Nora and smiled

"It's the plea bargain for the Whittaker case," she said

Nora sat back. "Evangeline that plea is off the table," Nora said

Evangeline frowned "Why, because you got the DNA evidence admitted?" she asked frustrated

"That's right, with this evidence I am sure to get a conviction" Nora said confidently

Evangeline rolled her eyes "Nora come on…you know this is my clients first offense. If anything it was a crime of passion" she said

Nora raised her eyebrow "So are you admitting to his guilt now?" she asked

"You know that's not what I'm doing. He's a 17 year old. The kid can't survive a mandatory life in prison sentence. His family is really concerned about him," she said pleadingly

"Well Evangeline what about the family of the victim, should I consider them too?" she asked.

Evangeline shook her head. "Okay, I guess we'll have to fight it out in court" she said rising.

Nora smiled "I look forward to it." She said

Evangeline looked back before heading out of her office.

"Are we still on for dinner at the palace Saturday night" she asked

"Yep and Bo better not try to get out of it" Nora said with a hint of frustration.

Evangeline looked at her friend. "Are you okay?" she asked concerned.

Nora smiled "Yea I'll call ya" she said

"Okay" Evangeline said walking out. Evangeline opened her phone while she headed toward the elevator and called her house. John didn't answer. Now she was really worried. She was booked throughout the day and had to fight the urge to go home to check on him. She pushed it out of her mind. Maybe he's golfing with Michael or something. She would call her mom to make sure that Tommy got home okay after her next meeting was over.

John sat in his car on the street and watched the parents pick up the kids. He saw Tommy running to Lisa and her putting his son in the car. He waited until Ms Schaffer saw the last kid off to get out of his car and approach her. She looked up at him approaching and smiled at him in that old familiar smile

"It's you isn't it?" he choked out  
"Yes John, its me" she said  
"But how?" he said in a trembling voice.  
"Come inside and I will explain it all" she said walking toward the school.  
He followed her with his heart in his throat back into the school

Evangeline sat at her desk and tried Johns cell again with no answer. She called her mom

"Hey" her mom said coming on the phone.  
"Is Tommy okay?" she asked  
Her mom smiled "Yep talking a mile a minute about school today. Apparently he got a gold star today and was picked to feed the fish in the aquarium" Lisa said giggling.  
"Let me speak to him mom" she said  
"Hey mommy" Tommy said coming on the phone   
"Hey baby" she said smiling  
"School was great I love it can I go tomorrow?" he asked  
"You sure can" she said smiling  
"Cool, Grandma I am going to school tomorrow" he yelled into the phone

Evangeline had to pull the phone away from her ear.

"Tommy" she said trying to get his attention "Was daddy okay when he took you this morning" Evangeline asked nonchalantly  
"Yep, He was funny though" Tommy said laughing  
"Funny?" Evangeline said confused  
"Yea, he dropped my lunchbox and Ms. Schaffer had to help him clean it up. We all laughed. But daddy didn't" Tommy said

Evangeline smiled. "Well I'll be picking you up soon." She said affectionately. "Let me speak to grandma"

"Okay Cookie" Lisa said coming back on the line  
"Mom thanks see you guys soon" she said hanging up.

Evangeline looked at the phone. Why hasn't he called me all day, especially with it being Tommy's first day of school she thought.

Antonio walked in with a folder. "Evangeline I have some new information that might help you with the Whittacker trial" he said  
Evangeline looked up at him "Have you spoken to John?" she asked

Antonio frowned "Not today. Why?" he asked

Evangeline pushed away from her desk "He didn't go to work and no one has seen or heard from him." She said the concern now making her stomach knot up.

Antonio saw her fear and tried to calm her "Maybe he got sick and is in the bed sleeping it off."

Evangeline looked at Antonio and felt silly. "Yeah maybe you're right" she said smiling. "Now let me see what you got for me" she said taking the folder and scanning the documents.

Back to Index

Chapter 6: PAST and PRESENT 

John walked in the classroom and stood near the door staring at her.

He stared at her for what seemed like eternity.

"I saw you die," he said weakly  
"You saw what the bureau wanted you to see," she said  
"Caitlyn I held you in my arms. I saw the blood" he said his voice trembling  
"John…it was all staged" she said softly stepping to him.

He looked at her and his tears blurred his vision.

"This isn't real. You're not here," he said  
Caitlyn touched his face. "Let me explain"

John couldn't move he just looked down at her while his heart exploded in his chest.

"They came to me. They told me that Haver was going to kill me. They offered to give me a new identity. They told me it was the only way to save you. During that time you were as obsessed with Haver as he was. I did it to save you," she said gently

John stepped back "You let me watch you die to save me?" he said in shock

"Do you know what your death did to me Kate? Do you know how I've re-lived your death over and over in my head for the past 10 years? Do you know the pain I still carry over loosing you!" he yelled

Caitlyn let her tears flow "John you can't call me Caitlyn, my name is Brenda Schaffer. I never meant to come into your life like this. I didn't know you were in Llanview when I accepted this job" she said weakly

"When did you know about my son?" he asked  
"I found out when your wife came to register him. It was a coincidence John I swear," she said reaching for him again.

John backed up. "This is wrong. I have to contact the bureau…you're an imposter. I saw you die," he said turning to leave.

Caitlyn ran to the door stopping him "I'm real John" she said taking his hand and bringing it up to her face. "I'm real and I'm a live," she said lovingly.

John let his tears go and grabbed her. He squeezed her and said her name over an over. She rubbed his back and kissed his shoulder "It's okay…It's okay" she said gently

Evangeline pulled into the driveway and didn't see John's car. She hit the garage opener and the garage door lifted but no car. The knot in her stomach grew tighter. Tommy was in the back of the car singing "The wheels on the bus" song with the cd that she played for him in the car.

"Tommy when we get in the house I want you to go upstairs and get out of your school uniform…no TV" she said

"Okay mommy" he said brightly opening the car door when she parked and running to the door.

"John where are you?" she said looking back to the street before opening the door for Tommy.

John let her go and cupped her face. She held onto him "Kate I never thought I'd see you again. I almost gave up on life itself," he said smiling down at her.

Her face darkened some. "John you didn't, you have a beautiful son and a wife" she said

The mention of Evangeline was like a shock to him. He released her and stepped back "Yes I do" he said smiling weakly

Caitlyn saw the change in his demeanor and felt hurt "I met her John she seems nice" she said smiling at him. "How long have you been married?" she asked

John ran his hands through his hair "Five years" he said nervously

"Oh around the same time that your son was born" she said  
John looked at her seriously "We'd been together a year before he was conceived" he said defensively

"I'm sorry John I didn't mean it that way," she said

John softened. "I know you didn't, this is all a shock," he said

Caitlyn walked to him and grabbed his hands "John you can't tell your wife about us" she said

John looked confused "Why not Haver is dead, there's no need for you to hide anymore" he said.

Caitlyn smiled "I've been Brenda Schaffer for 10 years now. I have a new life John I don't want to turn it upside down again," she said 

"I can't keep this from her Kate, you'll be our sons teacher" he said

She walked closer to him and looked in his eyes. He stared at her and felt all the love he carried for her swell up inside of him. Before either knew it they were locked in a passionate kiss. A kiss that expressed the pain, sorrow and regret for the past 10 years.  
It was John that broke away from her "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that" he said putting his hand to his mouth.

Caitlyn smiled "I wanted you too." She said

He looked at her and dropped his eyes "I need to go" he said opening the door.

Caitlyn touched his arm. "When you are ready to talk more come see me. I'm staying at the Palace under Brenda Schaffer" she said before releasing him.

John didn't look back at her as he rushed out of the school to his car.

Evangeline called John's cell again. Now she was angry. How could he let her worry like this. Then her anger turned to concern. What if he was somewhere hurt. She called Antonio and Layla answered the phone

"Layla is Antonio there?" she asked  
"Sure Vange hold on," she said  
"Evangeline?" Antonio said  
"Antonio I can't find John and I'm beginning to worry."

She said her voice shaking.  
She looked at Tommy at the table coloring his homework and the pain in her chest worsened.  
"Calm down. I'll go check around for him. I'll call you back when I know something." He said handing the phone back to Layla

"Evangeline what's wrong" Layla asked watching Antonio run out.

"Nothing…I'm probably being silly but its just not like him not to check in with us" Evangeline said wiping her hands against her skirt pacing the kitchen.

"Do you want me and Jamie to come over to keep you company until he comes home?" she asked.

"No…it's a school night. I'll be fine I promise. I'm probably just being silly" she said again feeling embarrassed for loosing it when it was barely 6 o'clock.

"I'll call you back I need to start dinner" she said hanging up with Layla.

Evangeline placed the phone on her receiver. She calmed herself and took down the pots. He would be home soon.

John sat at the bar at Rodi's drinking when he felt Antonio's hand on his shoulder 

"John what the hell is going on with you?" Antonio asked angrily  
John looked up at him drunk and kept drinking his beer

"John, Evangeline is a nervous wreck its after 9pm. Why are you in here drinking like this" he asked

John still said nothing.

Antonio looked at the bartender "How many of these has he had?" he asked

The bartender shrugged "12 since I been here, but he was sitting there when I came on my shift" he said walking over to another patron.

Antonio looked at his friend confused. He'd never seen him this bad. And he's seen him in some bad situations. "Come on bro I'm taking you home" 

John allowed Antonio to lift him from the bar and placed all of his weight on him as he dragged him out. His head was so fuzzy and he was numb. He felt nothing.

Evangeline sat on the sofa crying softly to herself holding the cordless phone when she heard the car pull up in the driveway.

She raced to the door and swung it open to see Antonio carrying half dragging John into the house. She stepped aside stunned. Antonio dragged him into the family room and dropped him on the sofa.

"Is he drunk?" she said shocked more to herself than to Antonio

"He sure is" Antonio said standing after he lowered John to the sofa

"Where was he?" she asked

"At Rodi's been there for quiet awhile according to the bartender" Antonio said looking at John passed out on the sofa

Evangeline knelt down near him and touched his face "But why? Why would he do this?" she said hurt

Antonio shrugged. "Something is definitely wrong" he said turning to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow" he said 

Evangeline stood and walked him to the door "I won't be in tomorrow tell Mary to cancel my appointments. I have to find out what's wrong with him" she said looking back toward the family room.

Antonio nodded and walked out.

Evangeline went back to John and got on her knees and rubbed his chest. She could smell the alcohol coming off of him. He's never done this. Everything was fine the last time she saw him. He didn't even sink this low when Natalie died. What could drive him to this? She let her tears fall. She was afraid for him. She was afraid for the both of them.

Back to Index

Chapter 7: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline opened door and let Lisa in.  
"Hey sweetie" Lisa said coming inside.  
"Hey," Evangeline said dryly  
"What's wrong?" Lisa asked looking at the haggard look on her daughters face.

"Grandma Lisa, I ready!" Tommy said bouncing up in front of his grandma and holding her legs.

Lisa smiled at her grandson "Okay sweetie just a minute." She said looking back at Evangeline

"Ma thanks for this I will pick him up later tonight" Evangeline said ushering Lisa out before inquisition could start.

Evangeline closed the door and ran her hands through her hair. She walked back into the family room and sat in the chair across from John. She stayed down stairs with him all night and she was exhausted. He hadn't stirred so she knew he must have drank a lot.

She pulled her legs up to her chest in the chair and watched him. "Why did you do this?" she said softly.

She sat there trying to think what could've happened. The past five years had been wonderful. They fought like any couple but their love always helped them pass it. She knew everything about him. Even what happened with those men in that desert 5 years ago. What could this be about? She saw him stir and slowly put his hand to his head. She bit her lower lip and felt the dread in her stomach build. He opened his eyes and looked down then over at her.

"Hey" he said groggily putting his hand back over his head.  
"Hey" she said softly  
"What time is it?" he choked out not looking at her  
"Around 8" she said

He looked at his watch and then slowly sat up. He put his head in his hands and bent over as the pain from the binge took over his senses.

"John" she said softly  
"Not now Vange" he snapped getting up

His response hurt her so bad she looked at him in silence. She watched him walk out of the room slowly not knowing what to do. Then her anger took hold of her  
"What do you mean not now!" she snapped back getting up following him as he tried to make it upstairs.  
He said nothing just climbed the stairs  
"John!" she yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

She heard him go upstairs to their bedroom and slam the door. They way he slammed it made her chest tighten. She hugged herself and went to the kitchen. She didn't want to fight with him. But if she went anywhere near him right now she would scratch his eyes out she was so mad.

She slammed the coffee can down on the counter hard and let go of some tears of frustration. How could he treat her like that after she spent all night worrying about him? Now her anger was full blown. She dropped the coffee filter and raced up the stairs. When she entered the room she heard the shower and walked into the bathroom.

"John what the hell is going on!" she yelled coming into the bathroom angrily

He stood under the shower with his eyes closed and said nothing

"Last night I was worried sick and you come home drunk? I called you all yesterday and you didn't answer. You're scaring me tell me what's wrong" she said pleadingly

John opened his eyes "I went to the bar for some drinks and it got out of hand. That's all" he said picking up the soap and starting to lather up.

Evangeline backed away from the shower hurt "Why are you lying to me? What has happened so bad that you feel you need to lie to me?" she said in shock

John looked at her through the steam filled shower glass and felt horrible. She didn't deserve this. But right now he had to process everything. He need time to digest it alone. He couldn't include her in this yet. He just really needed a little space.

"Evangeline please, my head hurts I feel sick can you give me a moment to get my self together" he asked weakly

Evangeline put her hand to her mouth to stop herself from crying staring at him in the shower. She turned and walked out of the bathroom. When she closed the door she leaned against it.

She felt it.

The wall he used with her years ago it was up. That realization scared her to death. They'd been through to much.

She knew when he was like this not to push so she went to drawer and got herself some clothes. She would shower in Tommy's bathroom and go see Layla or Nora maybe Marcie anyone to get her out of the house at this moment and away from him. It hurt too much to be rejected his way.

John stood in the shower and saw Caitlyn's face. He had so many questions. Did Kathryn know about this? Did she know Kathryn was dead? What had she done the past 10 years?

He thought of Evangeline and the way he pushed her away. It was more of a reflex for him than anything else. He would apologize to her and make it up to her. He would tell her something anything to keep her from worrying until he worked this out.

John walked out of the shower with the towel wrapped around him. He didn't see Evangeline in the room so he went down the stairs and saw her on the sofa tying her shoes. "Where you going?" he asked  
"Why?" she answered with pain in her voice  
"Vange, I'm sorry babe" he said walking to her

She looked up at him angrily "Are you? Sorry enough to tell me what's going on?" she asked

"I had a rough day yesterday work.." he started  
Evangeline jumped "Don't do that! Do do it John" she yelled  
He blinked at her surprised "Do what?' he asked confused

"Lie to me!" she said with tears in her eyes "If you don't want to talk to me fine. If you don't need me fine, but don't treat me like we don't mean anything to each other and lie to me" she said now crying

John grabbed her and pulled her to him "Baby, please I'm sorry don't cry. I wasn't trying to hurt you" he said.

She hugged him back desperate to have his arms around her. He was acting liking a stranger. It was scaring the hell out of her "What is it John, please don't shut me out" she said weakly

He sat her down on the sofa and sat next to her "Honestly, yesterday my entire life flashed before my eyes. I discovered a pain that I thought I'd let go of. I can't talk about it pass that sweetie but soon I promise I will explain it all to you. You and Tommy are my life I wouldn't jeopardize it." He said kissing her hand

Evangeline stared at her husband. What was he trying to tell her? In between that code he just spewed lies the truth. She touched his face "We are one now John, what happens to you happens to me, we face everything together" she said gently

"Not this" he said dropping her hand and standing "Just let go" he snapped

Evangeline glared at him "Fine, I'll let it go!" she fired back grabbing her purse and car keys. John watched her go to the door and couldn't stop her. She slammed out and he sat on the couch. He leaned back and looked up at the ceiling "Damn" he muttered.

Evangeline knocked on Laylas door. She came to the door grinning  
"Hey" Layla said opening the door.  
Evangeline walked in. "Where you busy?" she asked  
Layla looked at her sister with jeans and lacoste shirt on plus sneakers. It was Thursday around noon totally wrong for Evangeline.

"No" she said closing the door "What's going on?" she asked  
"Nothing just decided to come see my sister" Evangeline said forcing a smile. She looked over on the counter and saw Laylas screen shots spread out. "What's this" she asked

Layla smiled "I'm meeting RJ's friend at the Palace Saturday night."  
Evangeline looked up at her concerned. "What? Does Antonio know?" she asked surprised. Layla looked at Evangeline "Vange what's wrong? Why are you here?" she asked.

Evangeline looked away. "I don't know and that's the truth" she said sitting down.  
Layla walked over to her sister "Okay you're scaring me. Antonio told me that he found John at Rodi's are you too having problems? She asked

Evangeline sucked in her breath "Layla he won't talk to me, within 24 hours we have distance between us and I don't know what to do about it." She said wringing her hands

"You do what you told me to do. Talk to him girl. Make him talk to you" she said stroking her hair. 

Evangeline looked up at her sister and smiled "So you told Antonio about RJs offer?" she asked.

Layla rolled her eyes "No, but I told him that I want to act. I told him that I will be meeting with a casting agent. He doesn't have to know about RJ" she said defensively

"Yes he does Layla, and its better you tell him rather than RJ" she said grabbing her sister hand. 

"Okay, you go find your man and talk to him and I will tell mine that the one man he hates most in the world is helping me jump start my career." She said smiling

Evangeline stood. "Deal" she said heading back to the door. Layla stopped her before she left and hugged her. "It'll be okay" she said lovingly

Evangeline smiled and left "Thanks" she said leaving.

John knocked on Michael and Marcie's door. He needed someone to talk to and the hospital told him that Michael was off today. Michael opened the door wearing his pajama pants sleepily "John what are you doing here?" he asked

John walked in "Why are you sleep its after 12" he said laughing  
"Um maybe because I keep doctor hours" he said sarcastically closing the door.

John smiled "Is Marcie here?" he asked looking around.

"No, she had to meet with another publisher, why?" he asked

"I got something heavy to lay on you bro sit down" he said  
Michael sat down and listened to John tell him about his ghost from the past actually being his sons kindergarten teacher. He so was so shocked he'd stopped listening 10 minutes into the story. "John my god. Have you checked out her story?" he asked

"How can I? The bureau did this behind my back theirs no one there that will give me any answers" he said

"Well what does Vangie say?" Mike asked

John looked at him and said nothing

"Wait! You haven't told Evangeline?" he asked surprised.  
"I can't Caitlyn doesn't want to be exposed" he said weakly  
"Then why did you tell me?" he asked confused  
"I can trust you" he said  
"More than your wife?" he asked  
"It's different Mike" John said rising and walking around the room  
"How John? You and Vange have been to hell and back why would you keep this from her?' he asked concerned  
"I need time" John snapped  
"Time? Time for what? Are you considering pursuing Caitlyn" he asked shocked  
"No!" John yelled  
"Bro you are making no sense here. Evangeline will eventually find this out; how is she going to feel knowing that you kept it from her?" He asked  
"I need to see Caitlyn again. I need answers. If I tell Evangeline she may not understand that and I don't want to put her through that" he said surprised to hear himself say it.

"You want to know what I think" Mike said rising  
"Do I have a choice" John said chuckling  
"No" Mike said laughing "I think that you want to keep Evangeline in the dark so you can hold onto the Past and ignore the Present."  
"That's not true Mike" john said quickly  
"It is John…you can't keep your wife in the dark about something like this. Every moment you keep this from Vange you introduce deceit into your relationship." Mike said placing his hand on Johns shoulder.

"I'm going to see Caitlyn this evening to get some answers. Then I'll tell Evangeline everything." He said

Mike shook his head

Evangeline went to her mom's house to get Tommy. She walked in and saw her mom on her sofa folding laundry. "Hey mom" she said  
Lisa looked up and smiled "Hey cookie" she said

Evangeline sat on the love seat and looked around "Where's Tommy?" she asked  
Lisa smiled "In the bedroom watching TV" she said

"What's going on with you and John?" Lisa asked sheepishly  
"Mom." Evangeline said frustrated.

"Evangeline I was married 22 years before your dad died. I know my taking Tommy to school this morning was a sign of trouble" she said

"It's nothing we just had a fight" Evangeline said wishing she hadn't said that.  
"A fight hunh?" Lisa said eyeing her daughter  
"Yes fights…you and daddy had them remember" she snapped.

Lisa dropped her laundry "You watch your tone Evangeline..I'm still your mother" she snapped

Evangeline felt pangs of guilt "I'm sorry" she said

"Listen honey, I know you love the man. You walked through hell to get him. But you have to understand that if a man wants something else there is nothing you can do to hold onto him not even a child" Lisa said gently

Evangeline felt her temperature rise. It's been 5 years and her mom still found ways to throw in her face that she was pregnant with Tommy when John proposed it was the most hateful thing she could say to her. It cut at her heart. She looked at her mother and wanted to scream. Instead she opted to leave "Tommy!" she yelled rising

"Yes mom!" she heard him saying running out of her mom's room  
"Get your stuff baby time to go" she said  
Lisa stood "Cookie I'm sorry" she said meekly  
"No you're not mom" she said turning to leave.  
Tommy ran pass Evangeline to the door. She grabbed his hand and left not looking back to see the hurt look on her moms face.

Back to Index

Chapter 8: PAST and PRESENT 

John knocked on Caitlyn's door and waited

"John" Caitlyn said smiling  
"Hey is this a bad time?" he asked  
"No come in" she said opening the door.

John walked in and saw her paperwork all over the bed. "You sure you're not busy?" he said pointing at her bed

Caitlyn smiled "John please sit down…lets talk" she said sweetly

John sat in the chair in her room and Caitlyn sat on the bed in an uncomfortable silence

"John, I'm sure you are wondering what I've done in the pass 10 years" she said.  
John nodded

"Well after I left you I was lost for several years. Kathryn was the one who helped me keep my credentials in teaching so I could have something of comfort" she said

"Wait, Kathryn knew about this?" John asked shocked "She knew how much pain I was in when you died. She saw it. How could she do this?" he asked angrily

Caitlyn smiled "John she was trying to protect her sister. I couldn't even go to her funeral" she said sadly

John looked at her and regretted his tirade "I'm sorry Kate, that must've been hard" he said gently

She smiled at him "Its okay" she said "I eventually fell in love"

John blinked and felt a pang of jealousy, he never thought of her with someone else "Did you marry?" he asked

"No, almost but it didn't work out. I moved to Llanview to start fresh, ironic aint it" she said laughing

He laughed too "Yeah it is"

She got quiet then "John, tell me about Evangeline. When I met her she seemed so different than whom I'd picture you with"

Johns guilt rose in his throat and he swallowed it. "Evangeline saved me Kate." he said  
Caitlyn raised an eyebrow "How so?" she asked  
"In so many ways," he said looking away "She gave me a second chance at love and her love made me believe in myself again. I even faced my dad's death with her. I dealt with it Kate." He said smiling at her

Caitlyn tried to mask her jealousy. John couldn't even say I Love you when they were together. She knew he loved her but he was so closed inside that she never thought those parts of his heart could be reached. And this woman comes in and takes him where she could never reach him and gave him the child that they should've had.

"I'm glad John" she said blinking back her tears.

John saw the pain flash before her face and it hurt him. "Caitlyn, I never told you but I loved you then, I was so broken I couldn't say those words but I know my heart now and I know what I felt for you was genuine" he said softly

Caitlyn smiled "John I always knew your heart even if you didn't." she said

She decided to change the subject. "Tommy is a wonderful boy" she said  
Johns smiled even wider "Do you know his first impression of you?" he asked

Caitlyn shook her head no

"He told me you were Pretty…which is a big thing for Tommy because he thinks any girl other than his Mom and granny is gross" he said laughing

"He takes after his father" she said seductively  
John looked at her and tried to ignore the comment

"Kate, I'm going to tell Evangeline about you being alive. I have too, she's my wife and I have too much respect for her not too" he said

Caitlyn rose and walked over to John standing in front of him "I don't want you to keep anything from your wife John, I didn't come here to cause trouble in your life. I just ask that you give me some time to contact the bureau to make them aware of this situation." She asked

John shook his head "Evangeline won't jeopardize anything Kate she's an attorney"  
"Yea I know!" Caitlyn said snidely  
John frowned "How do you know?" he asked confused  
Caitlyn quickly tried to cover her slip "She provided that information when she registered your son" she said sweetly

John stood up and took Caitlyn's hands "I will give you until the first of next week, after that I have to tell her about you" he said looking in her eyes

Caitlyn looked into his sea blue eyes and wanted to feel him again "John, about that kiss yesterday" she said softly

He dropped her hands and looked away "That shouldn't have happened" he said

"John" she said grabbing his hand again. "I wanted it to happen"

John stared at her "Kate, I'm in love with my wife…I will never betray her" he said

"Your heart already has John, I see the way you look at me. Your being here without telling her is a betrayal" she said gently

John anger flared "Stop this Kate" he said walking away from her toward the door. "I came here because we have unresolved issues I wasn't trying…."

"Exactly you have issues that you need to resolve. The love we had is not something you forget in your heart John. When you go home to your wife tonight you will still be thinking of me. We have to face what's between us for us to move on" she said walking to him.

John shook his head "Kate, I admit to caring about you, I admit to even wanting to know you again. But I have a family that's apart of me I wouldn't give it up, not even for you."

John saw the pain on her face and wanted to touch her "I'm sorry Kate. I'll give you until Monday and then I am telling Evangeline" he said walking out of her hotel room" 

Once he closed the door he let out his breath. His heart pounded fast and he fought the urge to go back in the room and take her in his arms. He stepped away from the door and looked at it. This would be goodbye for him. Evangeline is where his heart belonged. He turned and headed for the elevator

Caitlyn went to the door and touched the knob. She wanted to stop him but thought better of it "It's not over John" she said softly touching the door. "Not by a long shot"

Evangeline lay in bed with Tommy reading to him, she heard he alarm beep when John opened the door.   
"Mommy its daddy!" Tommy said sitting up "Can I go see him?" he asked

Evangeline smiled at her son and rubbed his head. "Sure baby" she said.  
Tommy threw his legs over the bed just as John opened the door to his room

"Daddy!" he yelled running to him.  
"Hey sport" John said picking him up.   
Evangeline and John looked at each other. She got up off the bed laying the book down she was holding "You can finish reading to him" she said softly. Then she looked at Tommy "Then its lights out mister" she said smiling

"I promise mommy" he said hugging his dad around the neck.

Evangeline walked past them out of the room. She looked back as she closed the door at John airplane Tommy to the bed and smiled slightly.

She went downstairs to the family room and fixed herself a martini. She walked over to John's jazz collection and pulled out Miles Davis cd slipping it into the changer. She let the saxophone and heavy bass ensemble drift through the room.

She sat in her favorite chair and put her feet up. She thought about John rejecting her and closed her eyes. She knew he loved her. She'd seen it. She'd felt it. She'd lived it. But her mother's taunts of her being the one to force their love on him played into her insecurities.

"Nice choice" John said standing in the door way

Evangeline looked up to see him staring at her. She pulled an olive out of her martini popping it in her mouth and remained silent.

John walked into the room and sat in the chair across from her. He pulled it closer to her and lifted her feet into his lap. She looked at him and smiled slightly at him as he massaged her feet.

She closed her eyes and let him relax her like he always does on the rare occasions they argue. She felt him lower her feet and opened her eyes. He had his hand outstretched to her. She put down her drink and took his hand and he pulled her to him guiding her to his lap. "I love your Ms. McBain" he said sincerely

Her heart melted. She needed to hear him say those words today. She needed it desperately "I love you Mr. McBain"

He pulled her face to his and kissed her. She grabbed his hair and kissed him back. Slowly he slipped his hand under her shirt and gripped her breast. She felt the urgency of his kiss and met it with just as much force.

He picked her up and carried her out of the study and up the stairs to their bedroom. She held onto him kissing his face and sticking her tongue in his ear. He lowered onto the bed and started working himself out of his pants. She pulled her shirt over her head and snatched down her jeans. He was back on the bed and they kissed and pulled on each other.  
John sucked on her neck and as he prepared to enter her he heard Caitlyn's voice in his head: _"Your heart already is John, I see the way you look at me. Your being here without telling her is a betrayal" _he stopped and looked at Evangeline

She looked up at him "What is it?" she asked  
He moved off of her and laid on his back

Evangeline sat up looking at him confused "John, please what is it?" she asked again now the pain more clear in her voice. 

John looked at her and his heart broke. He got his pillow and rose from the bed. "I'll sleep downstairs" he said walking out of the room.

Evangeline moved the hair out of her face. She blinked away her tears refusing to cry. Refusing to go after him. But this last betrayal cut her deep. She climbed under the covers and put her face in her pillow and suppressed the scream that was building up in her. She had no idea what to do.

John plopped on the sofa downstairs with tears in his eyes. He had betrayed his wife. He betrayed her by shutting her out. Caitlyn was right. He knew that he loved Evangeline as much today as he did before Caitlyn arrived but he couldn't bring himself to be with her until he came clean.

The guilt was eating away at him.

He looked up at the ceiling and thought about what Evangeline must be going through upstairs and let his tears escape. "I'm sorry baby" he said softly and closed his eyes. Soon he would explain it all to her. They would get pass this.

Back to Index

Chapter 9: PAST and PRESENT 

Layla felt Antonio's hand on her breast. She smiled in her sleep and turned over. "Good Morning" she said

"Morning beautiful" he said pulling her closer

Layla felt his hand in the small of her back and knew what he wanted. He rolled her over and started kissing her on the neck. She closed her eyes as he hooked his thumb around her panties and slowly eased her out of them. She felt him move his kisses from her neck to her breast and moaned. He raised his face to hers and his climbed on top her and spoke softly "I want things to go back to normal" he said gently parting her legs

Layla opened her eyes and frowned "What do you mean normal?" she said then closed them again when he entered her.

"Layla I love you but I need you to want the life I have to offer" he said pushing further into her.

Her head clouded and she couldn't comprehend what he was saying as he ravished her.  
She nodded her head so that he would be quiet and they could continue their lovemaking

"Am I enough for you?" he asked kissing her face  
She wrapped her legs around him and held on tighter. She kissed him in his mouth locking him in her passion. Their love making was sweet and tender and Antonio paid attention to all her body needs. When he was done he moved off of her and threw his arm across her chest while laying on his stomach.

Layla looked at the ceiling. She thought about how he used these times to derail her from moving away from him. She would fall into their love and set aside her ambitions until she became restless again. She looked at him laying next to her with his eyes closed and thought about how this time would be different. She loved him with all her heart but she was going for the gold. RJ was going to help her. And she would do anything to prove them all wrong.

Evangeline did a double check of Tommy in the kitchen and told him to finish his cereal while she got her briefcase. John heard her trying to whisper to their son and opened his eyes on the sofa. He sat up and looked over toward the kitchen. Tommy saw him rise

"Mommy! Daddy's up!" he said getting out of his chair running to John.

"Daddy do you know what day today is?" he asked jumping on the couch. John winced when he landed on his leg. His body was sore from lying there all night  
"Nope what day is it?" he asked looking toward Evangeline who busied herself never looking up.

"Today is Friday and we get to do show and tell. You said I could take your badge!" he said grinning

John laughed "No Tommy I said you could take my badge cover and put your badge in it. Go get your badge and I will put it together for you.  
Tommy jumped down and ran toward his room.

John got off the sofa and walked into the kitchen "Good Morning" he said softly

Evangeline didn't look at him. She finished packing Tommy's lunch and tried to walk out of the kitchen but John stepped in front of her. "Vange wait" he said

Evangeline stepped back and kept looking down she didn't say anything.

"Vange, I'm sorry about last night, I know you must be confused" he said reaching for her but she side stepped it.

"Are you sleeping with someone?" she asked looking at him with anger and tears in her eyes.

John was shocked "Oh my god no" he said quickly

Tommy ran into the kitchen interrupting the tense moment. "Here daddy" he said grinning

John watched as Evangeline walked around them out of the kitchen. He took the badge out of Tommy's hand and went to the family room where his suit jacket lay on the sofa and pulled out his badge. He took out his shield and put in Tommy's toy shield giving it to him. He never took his eyes off Evangeline. Who waited by the door digging in her purse. Tommy jumped up and down "See what Daddy did mommy" he said

Evangeline smiled "Let's go baby"

"Evangeline" John said as she opened the door. 

She looked at him blankly "We can talk tonight if you're up to it" she said flatly and walked out with Tommy

John stood there with the door closed and realized he needed to tell her now. He couldn't bare another night of this. He shook his head and sat down on the sofa. He really screwed this one up.

Evangeline walked in her office with Mary on her heels.

"You have several calls from the Whittaker family about the upcoming court date" Mary said.  
"Thank you Mary" she said dropping her briefcase in the chair.

Evangeline sat down at her desk and tried to steady her breathing, her heart was breaking and pretending that it wasn't was killing her.

"Hey" Antonio said walking into her office.  
She looked up and tried to smile "Hey" she said weakly  
"How are you?" Antonio said seeing the pain and exhaustion on her face.

Evangeline caught the look he gave her and tried to cover up her anxiety by moving things on her desk "I'm good what's up?" she asked

"You sure?" he asked concerned.  
"Antonio what do you need" she said frustrated by the questions  
Antonio decided to change the topic "It's Layla" he said

Evangeline looked up concerned and happy for his diversion "Layla?"

"Yes she's been on this acting thing again" he said  
"Yeah I know" Evangeline said leaning back  
"I would like you to find out about the casting dinner she's going too. I know she is keeping something from me" he said  
Evangeline looked at Antonio shaking her head…Was everyone in this town keeping secrets she wondered.

Layla walked into Capricorn and saw RJ at the bar talking to an attractive woman. He saw her approach and smiled at her. "Layla, how are you today?" he asked smiling  
She smiled and walked over to the bar "Can we talk privately RJ" she said giving the girl at the bar a look.

RJ smiled "Let's go to my office" he said  
Layla followed RJ walking in to his office and sitting in the chair he pointed to.  
"So what's this about, you aren't canceling our dinner date are you?" he asked  
"RJ I need to know if you're just toying with me or are you trying to help me" she said  
"I have something good with Antonio and I don't want to jeopardize it if you are playing games" she said sincerely

"Let me guess Evangeline has been bad mouthing me again" he said chuckling  
"Please Vangie got her own problems now, she's not worried about you" Layla said dismissively  
RJ frowned "What kind of problems?" he asked  
"John's been treating her badly and even went missing on her for awhile. I really don't know the story RJ…can you answer my question please" she said aggravated.

RJ smiled "Layla, I never made any promises to you. I will introduce you to the agent and the rest is up to you."  
Layla looked at him and smiled "Well I can handle it from there she said"

Evangeline was buried in paperwork when Mary buzzed her to tell her Nora was on the phone.

"Hey Nora" Evangeline said  
"Hey, just calling to confirm tomorrow at the Palace" she said cheerfully  
Evangeline completely forgot about the date with Nora. Nora had been looking forward to this for the past month so she knew that they couldn't cancel on her.

"Umm yea I need to talk to John" she said her voice shaking  
"Vange you okay?" Nora asked  
"Yep, I'm cool" she said trying to cover.  
"Well your husband isn't" Nora said laughing  
"Excuse me?" Evangeline replied confused  
"He was at the station yelling at every cadet that came his way this morning" Nora said.   
"Oh" Evangeline said glad to hear his day sucks too.  
"Well tomorrow at 9 see you then" Nora said.

Evangeline hung up. She thought about last night and how John pulled away from her during their lovemaking. There was another woman. She was sure of it. 

Evangeline swung the car into the school parking lot and rushed out. She was just a few minutes late but the idea of her baby waiting made her crazy. She saw him on the sidewalk with Ms. Schaffer

"I'm so sorry" she said as she got closer to them  
"Mommy you forgot me" Tommy said upset.  
"Oh no baby she didn't…see I told you she was coming" Ms. Schaffer said rubbing his head.  
Evangeline gave her a grateful look. "Thank you Ms. Schaffer I'm so sorry"  
"Please call me Brenda" Caitlyn said  
"Okay Brenda" Evangeline smiled and knelt down to Tommy "Mommy is sorry am I forgiven" she asked to him  
"Yes mommy" he sad still pouting  
"How was he today during show and tell" Evangeline asked  
"He was the show stopper" Caitlyn said smiling at him "His dads badge was a big hit"  
"Mommy, everybody thought it was real. But I told them it wasn't I didn't tell a story" he said innocently  
Evangeline was so proud of her baby and how quick he was growing.

"He's just like his father" Caitlyn said rubbing his head again.

Evangeline looked at her confused by the overly affectionate way she was with her son. "Come here honey" she said extending her hand. Tommy left Ms. Schaffer's side and went to his mommy.

Caitlyn saw the look on Evangeline's face and tried to recover "Oh I met his dad the first day of school" she said sweetly

"Yea I remember" Evangeline said still looking at her.  
"Ms. McBain can I ask you a question?" Ms. Schaffer said  
"Sure" Evangeline said  
"How'd you get so lucky to have such a wonderful family" she said with a hint of sarcasm.

Evangeline looked at her stunned and confused. Tommy started pulling on her "Mommy lets go I'm hungry" he whined  
"Luck had nothing to do with it Ms. Schaffer love did" she said smiling and then looking down at Tommy "Okay baby we're going"

Ms. Schaffer stopped smiling and stared at Evangeline. In that moment she didn't care for the woman. "Have a goodnight" Evangeline said allowing Tommy to pull her to the car. She looked back and saw Ms. Schaffer staring at her.

On the drive home the strange encounter with Tommy's teacher wouldn't leave her. "Tommy how do you like Ms. Schaffer?" Evangeline asked  
"She's okay" Tommy said looking out the window.  
"Just okay? I thought you liked her a lot" Evangeline said looking at him in the car rearview mirror.  
"She ask to many questions" Tommy said  
"Questions? Really? About your colors and numbers? Those kind of questions?" she asked watching her son.  
"Nope questions about you and daddy" he said yawning. "Mom can I have ice cream when we get home? He asked

Evangeline was numb. The day all of this started was the day that John took Tommy to school. Something was up. She knew that Ms. Schaffer fit into it.

"No you cannot have ice cream until after dinner" Evangeline said pulling onto their street.

John had the table completely set when they walked into the house. Tommy saw his dad ran over excited! "Mommy daddy made dinner!" he yelled.

Evangeline kept looking at the mail ignoring the scene that John laid out for a family meal "Tommy sweetie upstairs and out of those clothes first." She said walking into the study.

"Daddy do I have too" he asked looking at him pleadingly  
"Do what your mom says sport and hurry back so we can have dinner" John said smiling and heading toward the study. He walked in the study and looked at Evangeline sitting in her chair going through the mail. "Vange" he said.

She didn't look up. He walked into the room. "Can we have dinner together like a family" he asked

She looked up at him "You want to be a family now?" she asked  
"Vange, don't do this. Let's have dinner and then once Tommy is in the bed we will talk. I will tell you everything." he said

Evangeline stood up. "We're too meet Nora and Bo tomorrow for dinner at 9 make sure you keep that arrangement" she said walking pass him

John grabbed her arm "Did you hear me, we can talk tonight" he said looking at her for some kind of opening.

"John let me clue you in on something. Everything doesn't revolve around you. When I wanted to talk you had nothing to say, now I don't want to talk. How's that? Feed Tommy and make sure he does his homework before he gets to bed. I will grab something to eat before I come home" she said

"Where are you going? Don't push me away" he said pulling her to him

She snatched her arms away "Don't push you away?" she said laughing grabbing her purse and walking to the door and slamming out. John wanted to stop her but he had Tommy. He'd hurt her badly by shutting her out. He had to reach her.

"Daddy where did mommy go?" Tommy said looking at the door too.  
"She'll be back buddy…come on lets get something to eat. He smiled.

Back to Index

Chapter 10: PAST and PRESENT 

"Daddy" Tommy said  
"Yes" John said staring at his food  
"Do fishies sleep?" Tommy asked shoving mash potatoes in his mouth  
John looked at his son and smile "I think they do" he said  
"When we took nap time I peeked and the fishies didn't sleep" Tommy said cocking his head

"You peaked? That's not good I'm sure Ms. Schaffer doesn't like you peaking" John said.

"She doesn't care" Tommy said shrugging  
"How do you like school Tommy?" John asked staring at his son.  
"Its okay I just don't want to be left anymore" Tommy said swinging his feet

"Left?" John asked confused  
"Yea mommy left me and Ms. Schaffer had to stay with me until Mommy got there. But Ms. Schaffer said if my mommy never comes that me and you could live with her" he said grinning

John dropped his fork "Did she?" he asked

"Yep…when mommy got there she asked mommy why she was so lucky" Tommy frowned. "What does lucky mean?" he asked

John looked at him. He thought about the stunt Caitlyn pulled and became angry and confused. It wasn't like Kate to manipulate a child. Why would she play those games? He knew he was right. He had to tell Vangie about this situation. He had to tell her before it exploded in his face.

He looked at the door. Evangeline had been gone for only a half hour but his chest was still tight with worry. He'd been so stupid to push her away. Secrets almost cost him her once. He couldn't allow that to happen. 

"Daddy" Tommy said  
John turned back from his thoughts and smiled "Yes" he said

"Mommy said I could have a BIG BIG bowl of ice cream when I am done with dinner. This big!" he said stretching his arms wide.

John laughed "Well if mommy said so I guess we have to find the biggest bowl in the house sport" he said winking at him.  
Tommy grinned at him  
John sighed.

RJ walked over to the bartender in Capricorn to ask about the shift change.  
"Boss" the bartender, said looking up

RJ turned to look and saw Evangeline sitting at a table eating alone.

"I knew you'd want to know if she was in here" the Bartender grinned and walked away.

RJ made his way over to her table.  
"Evangeline" he said smiling  
Evangeline looked up at RJ "Not now RJ I'm not in the mood."

RJ looked at her sympathetic. "I have just the thing to fix that," he said walking away.

Evangeline didn't acknowledge the comment. She was too deep in her thoughts. She was running scared. She was afraid of the truth. What if John told her that he and the teacher were having an affair? What if he told her that he was leaving her?  
What if her mom was right and it was Tommy's conception that made John propose?

Her insecurities had an irrational grip on her. None of it made sense. Just a matter of weeks ago she had to fight him off. Well no more of this. No more trying to be the selfless one why he tramples her heart when he can't deal. He can keep his confession. He's working on her timetable. She will uncover the truth on her own and then deal with the fallout herself. She's not a weakling.

"Here you go, just what the doctor ordered, "RJ said smiling placing a dirty martini in front of her.

Evangeline looked at him coldly "Sit down RJ" she said slowly

RJ smiled and sat at the booth "I thought you'd never ask" he said  
"I want to talk to you about Layla" she said  
RJ rolled his eyes "Van I just want to help the girl" 

"No, not exactly RJ" she said "You want to help yourself"

RJ stared in her face. Something was up with the detached attitude she had. There was trouble in paradise.

"Let me tell you something about my sister" she said leaning back in her chair."

"Growing up she stood in my shadow. Not one created by me on purpose but one that existed because of my parents. She worked extremely hard to gain the attention of my father, but he had another focus. Layla suffered from that. My mother didn't help with constant criticism of the spirit that everyone sees in Layla when they meet her. She's desperate to be a Star because she's desperate to be special. She thinks that you can help her RJ. No let me rephrase that…she believes you will help her. But we both know different don't we" Evangeline said staring at him angrily

"Van I would never purposely hurt her" RJ said surprised by the peek into Evangeline's life she just gave him. When dating she never spoke of her family. He didn't know she had a sister until she breezed into town.

Evangeline stared at RJ she didn't believe a word he said "What is it your after RJ" she asked suspiciously

RJ sat back in his chair. "Why is it so hard for you to see Van?" he asked

She looked at him confused "See what?" she asked  
"My feelings for you" he said softly

Evangeline stared at him. She never understood why all these years he waited on the sidelines for an opening with them. She knew he had a thing for her but he was with Lindsey now. She'd told him a 100x's that there would never be anything between them and yet he persisted.

He was responsible for pain to both her and John and she suspects he had something to do with the Castillo mess. 

"Its not that I don't see it RJ. Its that I don't feel it" she said seriously

RJ felt as if she threw cold water in his face "The years we spent together really meant nothing to you?" he asked hurt  
She smiled "Of course they did. But it wasn't love. And RJ if it was love, it wasn't the type of love that I needed. John gave me that. He still does."

RJ raised an eyebrow "Oh really? It's a Friday night and you sit in my club having dinner by yourself" he said snidely. "All the restaurants in town why did you choose mine"

Evangeline just stared at him

"I'll tell you why VAN, your running and seeking comfort. You knew you could find it with me" he said smiling 

Evangeline shook her head laughing "RJ I can't get through to you, no matter what I say you twist it around"  
RJ smiled "Hey I'm no quitter"

She smiled and then looked away.

"Go home Van, whatever it is face it if its making you this unhappy" RJ said affectionately

Evangeline looked at him shocked "Surprised to hear you advise me to go home" she said

"I've only wanted you happy Evangeline, which is why after you married I stayed away. I want you to have what you deserve," he said sincerely

"Leave Layla alone RJ. That would make me happy" she said seriously "Let her find herself on her own. Don't set her on a path that could cost her the something real that she has in her life" Evangeline said signaling for the waitress to bring her check

RJ waved the waitress off "It's on me Van" he said smiling  
"Thanks " she said smiling back at him  
"As for Layla, I promise that I will not interfere with her dreams. The casting agent dinner is real and I think she has a great chance, but I won't influence it any further than that"

Evangeline stood. "Take care of yourself RJ," she said looking at him.

RJ stood and pulled her to him. She accepted the hug and put her head on his shoulder. She welcomed the comfort even though it was being given by the wrong man "Van, you take care of yourself" he said inhaling her scent.

John closed the book and looked at Tommy. He was fast asleep and he saw Evangeline in him. He stared at the face of his son. He couldn't believe that the night he was conceived they were fighting for their lives. That night in that spring was magical and the most beautiful thing in the world came out of it. He should have married Evangeline sooner. She should know that her love is why he still exists.

He thought of Caitlyn. He admitted to himself that he still loved her. In another lifetime he would fight for her. But what he discovered through loving Tommy is that Love comes in different waves.

The love he has for Caitlyn is based on a life he thought they should have had and a past they shared. But the Love he had for Evangeline was based on his future and all the wonderful new beginnings she bought into his life by loving him. He was a complete man in her love. And he had a family.

He got up from the bed and kissed his sons cheek. Looking at his watch he saw it was 9 o'clock. He walked into his room and dialed Evangeline's cell.

HI THIS IS EVANGELINE. I AM UNABLE TO ANSWER MY PHONE AT THE MOMENT. PLEASE LEAVE A DETAILED MESSAGE AND I WILL RETURN YOUR CALL AT MY CONVIENCE.

He hung up. Hearing her voice made his heart ache. She never fled from him. Now she had it in her mind that he was cheating on her. What did Caitlyn imply when they spoke earlier? This was his fault and he would fix it tonight. John lay in the bed to wait for her. No matter what time she arrived they would talk and she would listen.

Evangeline pulled up into her mom's yard. She turned off the lights and sat in the car.  
She didn't want to go home.  
She didn't want to fight.  
She didn't want John to reveal some secret that would betray her love for him.  
She wanted to buy herself some time. Delay it as much as possible. Anything but face the chance that her world could fall apart at any moment. She needed her mom. But Lisa was never the mom to coddle her girls. She was never the one to mend a broken heart. Lisa gave it to her children straight. Evangeline put her head on the steering wheel and cried in frustration. "John, why?" she whimpered. "Why did we go back here?" she said. She lifted her head and looked at herself in the mirror. She wiped away the tears and opened the car door.

Lisa came to the door in her robe. "Cookie what's wrong?" she asked  
"Mom can I come in" she said.  
Lisa stepped aside. "Cookie where's Tommy? Is everything okay" she said worried

Evangeline smirked funny how she never asked about John. She walked over to the sofa and sat down. "Mom I need you to do me a favor" she said exhausted

"Okay" Lisa said sitting next to her daughter.  
"I need you to treat me like your daughter. Not your "Cookie" I just want to stay with you tonight with no questions or snide remarks about my life. I just want to have the comfort that I see you give to Tommy?" she said looking at her mom with tears in her eyes.

Lisa looked at her shocked "Of course baby," she said pulling her child into her lap and stroking her hair "Of course."

Evangeline stayed the night with her mom and talked about home and family and things they shared in her childhood. Her mom never once mentioned John or the reason why Evangeline was there. She woke up in her mom's bed. And looked at the clock. It was 6 am and she needed to get Tommy ready for his T-ball game. She eased out of bed. And headed to the door. 

"Evangeline" her mom said  
"Yes" she said without turning around  
"It was good having you here with me last night." Lisa smiled  
Evangeline turned around and smiled "Thanks mom" she said and walked out of the door.

John heard the door open and jumped up. He looked at the clock and it was 6:30 am. He got out of the bed and raced downstairs. Evangeline was in the kitchen starting coffee

"Where were you all-night! I was worried!" he snapped

Evangeline walked out the kitchen toward the stairs. John blocked her "I asked you a question Vange, you were gone all night " he said tenderly

Evangeline looked at him coldly "Not now John" she said and pushed him out of her way heading up the stairs.

John watched her go up the stairs and would have called out for her if Tommy weren't still asleep.

He went into the family room and sat on the sofa. He couldn't tell her while she was in this state. She would read the wrong things into this. He had to reach her and explain it the right way. Tonight at the Palace. When she is relaxed and less angry. They've had some magical moments there. It will be perfect.

Back to Index

Chapter 11: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline stood in the mirror and looked at herself.  
The day had been eventful. Tommy's last t-ball game brought out the entire family. Lisa, Mike, Marcie, Nora, Antonio, Layla and Jamie.

Evangeline prepared the meat and John barbequed. They behaved as if everything was normal but avoided each other's eyes constantly. Evangeline felt stupid for not getting into it with him. The tension between them had to stop. She was no longer angry just hurt. Whatever it was she needed to face it and face him.

John walked out of the bathroom buttoning his shirt. He saw Evangeline at the mirror staring at herself. She looked up in the mirror and their eyes met.

He wanted to open up to her right then.

He almost did but just as quickly as the moment was there it passed. Evangeline lowered her eyes and went to the closet for her shoes. They got dressed in silence.

Lisa took Tommy for the night, which will give him a chance to be alone with her after they return from dinner. He would romance her and explain it all to her the right way. He even invited Mike and Marcie tonight so that the mood would be light.

He sat on the bed and watched her apply her makeup. To him he preferred she not to wear it. Her skin was flawless and her beauty shined even more. She stood before him in a black fitted dress with spaghetti straps. It was one of his favorite dresses on her and he was hopeful that she wore it on purpose.

Evangeline felt John's eyes on her as she finished getting ready. If he said anything to her now she would listen. She would give him the chance to fix this. She thought about bringing it up but was sure that if they got into it there would be no way they'd be at the Palace tonight.

She was glad that Mike and Marcie were coming too. Maybe he would relax enough to open up to her. Maybe whatever it is it won't destroy the bond they had. She knew Brenda Schaffer played a part in this. She was determined that first thing Monday morning her baby would be removed from her class. Evangeline's hand tightened on the mascara brush she was using as she pictured Ms. Schaffer's smug smile when she asked her that crude question.  
It was laced with venom that only two women could understand. She was challenging her and remembering it made her want to slap his face. What had he done to make that woman think she could say anything to her?

Evangeline looked in the mirror at him. Tonight they would deal with this once and for all.

Layla walked into the Palace holding Antonio's hand. She'd taken Evangeline's advice and told Antonio about the dinner arranged by RJ.

Antonio had flipped.

They fought until she was in tears. It was in that moment she saw how much he loved her. He told her that no matter what her dreams were he would support her. He told her he would come to the dinner and sit at her side.

She was so happy that she felt dizzy even now. She looked over at RJ who waved them over. She felt Antonio stiffen under her hand and looked at him. He winked at her followed her to the table.

Mike and Marcie laughed with Bo and Nora.  
Nora told them about Bo's hidden obsession with the Home Shopping Network. She said he ordered all kinds of stuff off of it and it was driving her nuts.

Marcie talked about her latest book. The whole time Mike kept beaming at her. The wedding was soon and she wanted to wrap everything up with her publisher before they take their 3-week Mediterranean cruise. 

Everyone noticed John and Evangeline walk in at the table. Mike was the only one that saw the stress and tension between the two.

"Hey Guys" Evangeline said walking up smiling  
"Hey" Mike said standing with Bo

John nodded at everyone and sat down.

"So what have we missed?" Evangeline said smiling

Nora lowered her glass "Marcie and Mike are taking a Mediterranean cruise. Bo that's an example of romance" she said sarcastically

Bo rolled his eyes "John, we finally got the warrant for the warehouse for you. It's your call," he said changing the subject

Marcie interrupted "No way guys….today is about fun! We will not discuss work at this table" she said laughing.

Everyone laughed except John. He kept staring at his Vangie. He reached under the table for her hand and she pulled away bringing it up to the top of the table and clasping it with the other.

Mike looked at his brother and hoped that he had told Evangeline and that's what this was about. He'd rather they fight and work it out than have a secret between them.

"John, are you planning something big for your anniversary?" Nora asked still dropping hints to Bo about his lack of attention to her needs.

John looked up a little confused due to his own thoughts. Everyone looked at him except Evangeline who let her eyes drift around the room "Actually I am, she will be pleasantly surprised" he said leaning over and kissing her on the cheek.

Evangeline smiled and looked at him. To see them you wouldn't know anything was wrong. The waitress came to take their drink orders

Caitlyn decided to treat herself to dinner down stairs tonight. She'd waited for John to come to her again and he hadn't. She was sure he wanted too but being the man that she loved he wouldn't betray his wife which is why she hoped that Evangeline would be the one to set him free. She went to the bar and ordered a drink.

Turning around the from the bar she scanned the patrons dinning and made eye contact with Michael. She couldn't believe it. She hadn't seen him in years.

Michael was laughing at Marcie explain the reason she was deathly afraid of seagulls when he saw Caitlyn. His mouth dropped open from the shock. John and Evangeline both noticed it and turned to see whom he was stunned to see.

Evangeline saw Ms. Schaffer and stiffened. She turned and saw John still staring at her, when he felt Evangeline's eyes on him he dropped the stare immediately. Nora caught this and looked at the woman standing at the bar.

"Do you guys know her?" Nora asked confused.

Bo and Marcie looked up.

"We sure do" Evangeline said sarcastically "That's Tommy's kindergarten teacher," she said looking at John.

Nora smiled "Really, she looks like she's alone maybe we should invite her over." Nora said.

Evangeline turned to John "Yes, John why don't you ask Ms. Schaffer to join us" she said sweetly

John looked at Evangeline hurt. He knew what she was doing and was disappointed that she went this route. "I'm sure she has her own plans," he said dismissively

"Fine" Evangeline snapped "I'll invite her" she said rising from the table abruptly and heading toward her.

Nora's smile faded and she looked at John and Michael

"Um…does some one want to clue me in what's going on.?" She asked them

Bo grabbed Nora's hand under the table signaling her to drop it. John didn't look in the direction Evangeline headed. Instead he made eye contact with RJ who winked at him. He shifted uncomfortably and glared back at him.

"Ms. Schaffer, I mean Brenda how are you tonight?" Evangeline said sweetly  
"Ms McBain I'm good how are you?" she asked smiling back at her.  
"Fine, are you dining alone?" she asked  
"Actually yes I'm staying here at the palace," she said wondering what Evangeline was up too.

"Well that won't do, my husband and our friends and insisting that you join us" Evangeline said smiling.

Caitlyn looked at the table and everyone was staring. Everyone but John. "I don't want to interrupt." She said.

Evangeline smiled even wider "Nonsense" she said hooking her arm around Caitlyn's and pulling her along.

RJ watched Evangeline and the woman talking. Whoever she was he noticed John was the only one not looking at her. Layla was prattling on about her career in L.A. and Antonio was glaring at RJ but trying to cover it. He looked at Antonio and nodded toward John's table. "Looks like your boy is uncomfortable" he said smiling.

Antonio turned around to see Evangeline standing with some woman he didn't know. John was pale as a ghost. He wondered what was going on?

Evangeline brought Caitlyn to the table "Everyone I'd like you to meet Brenda Schaffer, Tommy's kindergarten teacher" she said letting her arm go.

John looked up at Evangeline who staring at him. He looked at Caitlyn who was staring and smiled at them both but said nothing.

Nora greeted her "Please have a seat " she said smiling and trying to get Evangeline's attention who was glaring at her husband.

Caitlyn spoke to everyone and took a seat at the table. Michael smiled at her trying to ease her discomfort.

"Are you from here?" Nora asked curious as to why the mood changed  
"No" Caitlyn said softly  
"Where are you from?" Evangeline said looking her in the face.  
"Well I've moved around quite often but originally New Jersey" she said  
"What a coincidence Mikey and John are from New Jersey" Evangeline said.  
"Really" Caitlyn said looking at John who was staring at Evangeline

Nora sat back and got the message. Evangeline was challenging this woman and it had something to do with John. This didn't look good at all. 

"So what brings you to Llanview" Evangeline asked  
"A job" Caitlyn said  
"Married? Kids? A boyfriend? Someone else's husband maybe?" Evangeline snapped.  
Caitlyn blushed 

"Evangeline that's enough!" John snapped

Evangeline turned and glared at John "You think so John? Well I don't!" she shot back.  
Nora gasped and everyone at the table looked shocked.  
Caitlyn stood up "Excuse me" she said weakly  
Evangeline stood too grabbing her arm "Not yet sweetie you didn't answer my question" she said angrily

John reached for Evangeline's arm and she pulled away. Now everyone in the restaurant was watching and getting quiet.

"Are you sleeping with my husband" Evangeline blurted out  
John stood up from the table forcing her to release Caitlyn.

Caitlyn saw the anger flash across John's face at Evangeline for making the scene and felt relieved. She took that as her cue to flee.

"Stop this" John said pleadingly.  
"You go to hell!" Evangeline shouted and stumped off.

Nora and Marcie jumped up and ran after her. Layla excused herself from the table and went too.

Bo and Michael looked at John in shock  
"Bro you didn't tell her?" Michael said shocked "Why on earth didn't you tell her!" he asked

John shot him a heated look "Its not like that dammit I was going to"

Bo looked at them confused as Antonio approached the table. "Who is that woman to you John?" he asked  
"John what's going on?" Antonio asked confused.  
"You guys wouldn't believe me if I told you." John said storming off.   
Bo and Antonio looked at Michael "Who is she?" Bo asked  
Michael sighed, "It's Caitlyn."

Evangeline was in the bathroom crying while everyone shouted around her at once.   
Nora – "Is John cheating on you?"  
Marcie - "My god with your sons teacher how gross"  
Layla - "Let's kick her ass"

Evangeline didn't answer any of them. She hadn't had a panic attack in over 5 years. She felt her chest tightening. She has never in her life made a scene like that. She was embarrassed and humiliated. Worse of all she was heartbroken. If she didn't believe it before she knew it now. He and that woman had something going on behind her back.

Nora saw her friend wheezing and put her hand on her back. "Sweetie its okay"  
"I need you guys to leave" Evangeline choked out hoarsely trying to regain control.

Layla walked over and knelt by her sister "Not a chance in hell Vange, we got your back" she said smiling

Evangeline looked up with tears in her eyes "Layla please. You know me. I can't deal with all of you around me right now. Please give me a moment to collect myself. Go back to your tables and try to do some damage control. I need to be alone." She said still trying to calm herself.

Layla looked at her sister and her heart broke. Evangeline always reacted this was in distress. She was such a perfectionist that when things went out of control she couldn't deal. Daddy always told her not to cry to him or mama even as a little kid. He told her to suck it up and suck it in. It made her a brilliant attorney and a great wife and mother. But inside it was slowly killing her.

"Sure Vange we will wait for you in the Palace" she said giving Nora and Marie the signal to leave. Nora hesitated at first but Layla pulled her along.

Evangeline gripped the sink and tried to regain control

John ran into the lobby looking for Evangeline. He headed for the corridor and heard his name.

"John, my god I'm so sorry" Caitlyn said with tears on her face.  
John looked at her and felt horrible. He had done this by pushing Evangeline away. Now he has hurt them both. 

He reached for Caitlyn and hugged her. "Kate I'm going to find Evangeline and tell her the truth I'm really sorry about everything" he said

Caitlyn hugged him tightly and cried softly on his shoulder

Evangeline walked out of the bathroom wiping her eyes and looked up to see John embracing Brenda Schaffer. She stood there shocked. Caitlyn opened her eyes and saw Evangeline and let go of John who turned around and saw his wife.

He took a step to her "Vange, I can explain this" he said slowly  
Evangeline just stood there looking at him. "You would do this to me to our son?" she said shocked  
"Oh god baby no its not what you think" he said stepping to her  
"You bastard" she yelled

Layla, Nora and Marcie appeared from around the corner confused. Bo, Michael, RJ and Antonio stood back and watched also.

"She's not who you think" he said gently  
"Really? She's not the woman you're sleeping with?" she shot at him angrily  
"No baby" John said smiling almost to her. "I can explain. Lets go home and talk about this in private."  
"Stay away from me!" Evangeline said backing away

Layla stepped in between them. "John let me and Antonio take her home and you follow us. You guys are making a scene," she said

John looked at everyone staring and then back to the betrayal on Evangeline's face. "Fine, I will follow you"

"I don't want you in my house!" Evangeline screamed at him "I don't want you anywhere near me"

Layla grabbed her sister "Vange stop it, not here not like this. She looked over at the woman that caused all of this. Don't give that woman the satisfaction"

Evangeline looked up with tears on her face and then at Caitlyn. She rushed at her and John caught her before she reached her "You stay away from family! Stay away from my son! Do you hear me!" she screamed. John pulled Evangeline out of the door with Layla and Antonio right behind him.

Nora and Bo stood there stunned watching John drag Evangeline out who was still screaming at this woman.

Marcie watched Michael walk over to Caitlyn and was pissed. "I'm sorry Kate," he said hugging her.

Marcie walked over "Michael what the hell is wrong with you…get your hands off this woman!" she screeched.

Michael let go of Caitlyn and allowed Marcie to drag him out.

Nora glared at Ms. Schaffer and stepped to approach her. Bo grabbed her hand. "Let me explain it to you in the car." He said pulling her out.

RJ smiled and walked up to Caitlyn "So you're McBain's mistress?" he laughed

Caitlyn looked at him shocked "I beg your pardon!" she said glaring at him.

"You heard me" he shot back

"I am no one's mistress…..If anything Evangeline is the woman that stole something from me!" she spat and walked off.

RJ frowned and watched her leave. "What the hell?"

And at the corner of the bar unseen by everyone menacing eyes watched it all play out and laughed.

Back to Index

Chapter 12: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline walked in the house and threw her purse down before running upstairs.

Layla went to go after her and Antonio stopped her. "No babe, let her go" he said gently

Layla looked at him with tears in her eyes "Antonio she needs me" she said weakly

John came in the house next "Where is she?" he asked panicked  
Layla looked at him hurt "John, please tell me she's wrong. Please tell me you didn't do this," she said

John looked at Layla and shook his head "It's complicated but I want not unfaithful to your sister" he said sadly

Antonio nodded and then they all gasped when they head a loud crash upstairs. John looked at them and ran for the stairs.

Antonio stopped Layla and dragged her to the door "Let them handle it" he said softly.

Layla relented and headed out. She was so worried about her sister.

"You'll get the hell out of my house!" Evangeline screamed as she threw his gun case through the full-length mirror in their room.

She was snatching his clothes out of the closet and pulling everything out of the drawers.

John walked in and saw everything tossed in the room and glass everywhere

"Vangie listen to me" he said coming in cautiously

Evangeline kept dragging his large suitcase out of the closet.  
John ran over to her and grabbed her by both arms. She kicked and scratched trying to get away "Calm down dammit and listen!" he said

"Let me go! Get out! Get your ass out of my house!" she screamed trying to get away. To gain a better control of her John picked her up and put her on the wall pinning her there. "Calm down" he said forcefully

Her hair was all over her face and she could do nothing by the way he was holding her but shake it side to side. She finally stopped hoping he would let her go so she could pick up something and hit him with it. 

"Evangeline the woman you saw me with and believe to be Brenda Schaffer is someone else" he said panting from fighting with her.

Evangeline raised her head slowly and looked at him through her long tresses that covered her face. She breathed heavily with him but said nothing.

"Vangie" John said slowly "It's Caitlyn"

Evangeline heard him but couldn't believe him. She looked at him his piercing blue eyes dark and clouded by his own tears. She looked at his face as he told her the impossible and she knew it was true.

"That's right Vangie, she's alive and I didn't find out until Tommy's first day of school," he said

Evangeline felt the grief of his betrayal take over her body and she shook all over from it. She screamed as loud as she could. Her scream shocked John so much that he released her. She swung and slapped him hard across the face. He looked at her sadly and backed away.

Evangeline's chest rose and fell and she tried to stop the tears and the screams to tell him how he has destroyed everything. She pushed her hair out of her face.

"You bastard" she said hoarsely.

John said nothing. He would let her get it out. And then they would resolve it. They would work through it like they have all the times before. He would fight with her all night if necessary.

"You found out that woman was alive and what did you do?" she screamed

"Nothing to say hunh?" she spat at him. "I'll tell you what you did. You went to a bar and drank yourself unconscious. You let me sit here and think you were dead! Your wife!"

Evangeline grabbed her hair and spun around as the gravity of what he said sunk in deeper

"Wait, that's why you can't make love to me?" she said looking back at him hurt. She burst into tears. "You can't make love to me because you want her" she said sobbing.

John found his voice "That's not true Evangeline, you have it all twisted. It's not like that"

"Did you sleep with her John?" Evangeline asked holding herself falling to her knees

John got on the ground with her and grabbed her shoulders "No baby never…I would never do that to you" he said sadly

"Did you kiss her?" she asked

John blinked at her question. "Evangeline let me explain. I wanted to tell you. She is in the witness protection program. She has to keep it quiet. She didn't know we lived here. She was as surprised as I was," he said weakly 

She looked in his face "You did kiss her" she said sadly  
"Vangie you aren't listening" John said shaking his head.  
"Do you still love her?" Evangeline asked as if she was in a trance now as the tears stopped.

"No….I mean not the way I love you" he said desperately

"You made a fool of me and snuck around my back with your precious Caitlyn" Evangeline said dryly.

"Baby its not like that" he said

"You had that woman around my son! Our son!" she said looking at him as if she didn't know him.

John dropped his head. This was getting harder and harder. Michael was right. Why was he such a fucking idiot? Why didn't he tell her the moment he saw Caitlyn. What held him back?

"You let me lay in bed and cry myself to sleep thinking that you didn't want me, that there was something wrong with me. And maybe it is. You always said I was no Caitlyn," she said looking at him expressionless

John looked up at her hurt "I never never told you that"  
"LAIR!" she screamed at him  
"How was this supposed to play out John? What was your plan? Where you going to just push me and your son to the side while you ride off into the sunset with her" she said staring at him

John looked at her with tears now flowing down his face. She was hurting him so bad. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to scream back at her until she listened. He wanted to shake her into believing him.

Evangeline stood up. "You married me because I was pregnant" she spat at him. "My mom was right," she said

John jumped up "That's enough dammit!" he yelled at her.

"I was wrong Vangie, I was in shock and confused when she came into our lives again. But it has no impact on the last 6 years we spent together. The hell we went through to be together!" he yelled pacing with his hands on his hips.

Evangeline just stared at him. "Six years of you settling because you couldn't have Caitlyn. It was never Natalie it was always Caitlyn. I could live with her ghost. I could live with the moments you thought of her" she said John looked at her confused. "Oh that's right I forgot you think I'm an idiot….you think I didn't know the nights you sit in the study listening to Nina Simone that you aren't thinking of her" she said angrily

John was stunned he had no idea Evangeline knew that. But it was only because of the way he thought she died. It was never a competition. "Vangie, stop this" he said exhausted

"No…let's not. Lets deal with it so we can end it." She said looking at him  
John shot her an angrily look back "We will not end it. You are my wife and it's going to stay that way. This is our home and that boy down that hall belongs to us both!" he yelled.

"That boy down the hall? Did you think about that boy when you held Caitlyn" she said mockingly

John shook his head. There was no way to get through to her tonight. She was so angry with him. "Vange" he said walking to her. She backed away stepping and crunching glass under her heels.

"I love you and you know this. You've felt it." He said still walking toward her until she backed up against the wall.

He looked at her intensely not letting her drop the stare between them "Look at me and tell me that you don't know my heart" he said

Evangeline's bottom lip began to quiver giving away her weakness for him. She bit her lip and tried to gain control. She loved him with everything inside of her. If he left her for Caitlyn she would die. She knew it as much as she knew anything. She wanted his arms around her. She wanted his cologne to envelope her. She wanted to feel her body next to his. He was a part of her soul

"John I want you to leave" her mind said betraying her heart.

"No" he said seriously  
She frowned at him. "I can't do this with you here. I can't bring Tommy into this kind of situation." She said

"Vange, you move me out of this house and you scar that boy" he said angrily.  
"I don't know what to do" she said crying. "I just want you gone." She said her voice shaking

"Why!" he yelled "Because it's hard to deal with the pain you have in your heart now? Well dammit Vangie you have to deal with it. Its not just you in this. Its our family" he said weakly

Evangeline sucked her teeth. "Let me ask you a question John"  
"Okay" he said relieved that at least she stopped screaming.  
"If there was no Tommy, what would you do?" she asked  
"Why are you doing this?" he said running his hands through his hair frustrated  
"Answer me," she said  
"I would choose you," he said  
"Really?" she said raising an eyebrow.

"Vangie you saved me before you got pregnant. Do you remember the conversation we had at the Palace the night I gave you back my mothers pearls" John said approaching her again seeing that he hit a nerve and weakened her resistance some. 

"I told you that I wanted to marry you…make you the mother of my kids. That was before Tommy Van….your mom is wrong. I married you because with you I have everything; without you I have nothing" he said touching her face.

Evangeline stared at him. She couldn't fight him. She wanted too. But she couldn't. "I don't know what to do," she said weakly looking trapped

He pulled her to him and kissed her passionately. She pushed against his chest turning her head at first, but gave into it. He stopped kissing her and held her face "Fight with me, be angry at me, Stop speaking to me for months if it helps, Just don't run from me" he said. 

She pulled away "Can you give me some time?" she asked turning and putting her back now to him.

John sighed. If he walked out of the door it would be harder to get back in. "I'll find a motel temporarily Vange, only if I come here everyday and we talk" he said hopeful

Evangeline kept her back to him and hugged herself. She let the tears fall silently and chewed on her bottom lip "That would be good for Tommy. You can put him to bed so he'll have less questions about us" she choked out.

John walked to her and turned her around. She kept her arms folded "What about Tommy's mommy?" he asked softly.

She kept her head down. He released her and picked up his suitcase. She went in the bathroom and closed the door so she wouldn't have to watch him pack. She sat on the toilet and cried.

John picked up his clothes off the floor and listened to her cry. He almost decided not to leave but he knew his Vangie, she kept her pain separate from everyone. Being in control was who she was. He had to let her believe she had control over this too or he would loose her for sure. He finished packing and closed his suitcase.

Looking around the room he felt his heart break. Evangeline's rage and pain was everywhere. Glass all over the floor from the cracked mirror. Dresser drawers hanging open..

He walked to the bathroom door and put his hand on the knob. He stopped himself and put his hand on the door. "I'll call you tomorrow, I should be here around 6 to see Tommy" he said sadly.

Evangeline heard him and got up to go to the door but stopped herself "Okay" she said weakly staring at the door. She heard him leave the room and then the house.

She opened the door and ran to the window cracking the blinds slightly so she could watch him back out of the driveway. She wanted him to stay.

Make her let him stay.

What if he left and went to her? She put her hands up to her head to stop it from spinning. She turned around and saw one of his shirts on the floor. She picked it up and climbed into bed. She held onto it like she did so many nights ago when she thought she would never see him again. And that's when she cried.

Back to Index

Chapter 13: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline woke up with the sun in her face…she turned over and looked at John's side of the bed wishing that last night was a dream. Of course it wasn't. He'd told her that Caitlyn was alive. He'd told her that he'd kept it from her on purpose.

Evangeline sat up. She'd slept in the dress she wore last night and her eyes were sticky from not washing off her eye makeup. She threw her feet over the edge of the bed and tried to steady her nerves. Her stomach flipped when she thought about him out there away from her. What if he went to her? What if he thought she didn't want him? Even with those being her fears she was so angry with him.

She was angry that he didn't turn to her when he found this out.  
She was angry that he protected Caitlyn and her wishes over hers  
She was angry that after discovering that Caitlyn was alive he was unable to make love to her. Evangeline dropped her head and cried at that thought. There was never a day since Mary's basement that John could resist her. But now Caitlyn was here and his heart split in two.

She looked at the room she wrecked. Moving her hair out of her face she stood up. She saw the smashed mirror on the floor. She stood still and looked at the pieces of glass and felt that's what's left of my heart. When the phone rang she jumped. Every thing was in slow motion as she sat down and picked up the receiver. She looked at the caller id:  
"THE PALACE HOTEL" her heart sank that he'd chosen to go there,

"Hello" she said softly  
"Vangie" john said cautiously  
"Yea" she said wiping at her eyes  
"Good Morning" he said

Evangeline said nothing. She knew he wanted to just have a normal conversation but her pain wouldn't give him that

"Why did you choose the Palace…is she with you?" she asked softly  
"Vangie baby, please" he said weakly  
"What do you want" she said her voice cracking  
John sat on the phone silent for a moment "I want you" he said seriously  
Evangeline felt her tears fall she wanted him too.  
"Vangie, I can't be separated from you and Tommy. I won't survive it" he said  
Evangeline wiped at her tears and remained silent.  
"I'll be there this afternoon so we can talk" he said  
"Okay" she said weakly  
"I love you" he said hope in his voice  
"I love you too" she said hanging up.

She threw the phone on the bed and looked at it. Part of her wanted to take him back and fight that woman tooth and nail for her man. The other part of her was damaged. Years of fighting had torn apart something inside. She wanted someone to fight for her. Someone to love her enough to put her first. Not because she's successful, not because she's smart, Not because she's talented. And not because she saved him from himself. She wanted to be loved because of she really was.

She stood and put on her slippers and walked into the bathroom. Pulling the door to the side she picked up the small garbage can. She came back into the room and knelt down around the glass. She picked up each piece through her tears.

John hung up the phone. He'd driven through the night and wound up here. He could have stayed anywhere but he came to the palace. Looking at the ceiling he thought about Evangeline. His first time meeting her and all the paths they traveled to find love. He thought about Caitlyn. When he was with her everything was calm. He was able to hide behind her love. She never demanded anything of him. John realized that was the difference between Caitlyn and Evangeline.

In that realization he also discovered what type of man he wanted to be. The man that Tommy thought of as a hero. The man that Evangeline loved and respected. John sat on the edge of the bed. He shouldn't have come here. He couldn't send her mixed messages. He needed to get his family back. 

Caitlyn rolled over to the phone ringing. She picked it up sleepily  
"Hello" she said  
"He checked into the palace" the voice said  
"What?' she said  
"You heard me!" the voice snapped  
"Who is this?' she asked confused  
"He's in room 1298. If you want John McBain you will have to fight for him" the line went dead.

Caitlyn looked at the phone. Who was that and why were they telling her info on John? She thought about John. He left Evangeline and came to her. She knew he would. She jumped from bed to get in the shower. She would go to him.

John called several hotels in the area and they were all booked for a convention in town. He knew the Angel square hotel probably had vacancies. He would check out before he headed home and then get a room their.

Evangeline stepped out the bathroom. She'd taken a hot shower and had on Johns robe. Shed wrapped the towel around her hair and looked at her bedroom. Most of the debris was cleaned up. She heard the door bell and went to the bedroom window. Outside stood Lisa, Layla and Tommy.

She went downstairs and opened the door.  
"Mommy!" Tommy yelled hugging her legs  
"Hey baby!" she said picking him up.

Tommy threw his arms around her neck. Evangeline had to remember he was a big boy now and she couldn't hold him like she used too. She put him down when he got heavy. He ran into the house pass her and she looked at the questioning looks on her mom and Layla faces. Before she could say something the phone rung. Evangeline walked through the house to retrieve the cordless

"Hello" she answered  
"Evangeline" Nora said  
"Hey Nora" Evangeline said walking into the study away from her mom so she wouldn't hear her.  
"Are you okay?" Nora asked  
"I'm better" she said softly  
"Bo told me who that woman was" she said gently  
"What? How did Bo know?" she asked  
"Apparently Michael told the table when we were in the bathroom." Nora said  
"Oh" she said  
"Well I was thinking maybe I should come by" Nora said.  
"Actually Nora Tommy's home and my mom is here. I don't want her to know what's going on." Evangeline said frustrated.  
"Okay how about you meet me for lunch tomorrow" she asked  
"That's fine. I will swing by the station after I get out of court." She said.  
"Take care sweetie" Nora said  
"See you tomorrow" Evangeline said turning off the cordless and walking back into the family room

Lisa stood up from the sofa "Cookie, Layla told me that John is cheating on you?" she asked concerned.  
Evangeline shot Layla a look of complete anger "Why would you tell her something like that!" she snapped  
Layla looked hurt "Vange I'm sorry I was scared for you last night I thought mom could help." she said weakly

Evangeline rolled her eyes and threw the phone on the end table "John is not cheating on me. It's complicated" she said  
Lisa rolled her eyes "That man has never deserved you cookie" she said "He's left you hasn't he and if he left you for another woman then he definitely won't be coming back!"  
"Mom please" Evangeline snapped  
"I'm sorry but this has to be said John McBain is a looser and he doesn't deserve you period" Lisa snapped back

"Don't call my daddy that!" Tommy said with tears on his face "He hasn't left me and my mommy grandma!"

Evangeline turned around to see her son standing at the doorway shaking.

"Baby!" Evangeline ran to him and grabbed him  
"You take it back Grandma!" he yelled pulling from his mom  
Lisa crumbled "Oh baby, I didn't mean it" she said her voice trembling.  
Tommy burst into tears. Evangeline picked him up and carried him from the room with Lisa following. Tommy had his head on his moms shoulder crying. Evangeline turned around and looked at Lisa with an angry look "Layla, get mom out of her before I say something we both regret" she yelled and went up the stairs. Evangeline saw the pain on her moms face but Lisa hurting their child was the final straw.

She rubbed his back and took him to her room. She laid on the bed with him and held him to her chest.  
"Tommy you listen to mommy grandma didn't mean that" she said softly  
He looked up at her "I want my daddy" he said.  
"Okay we'll call him" Evangeline said reaching for her phone.

Caitlyn knocked on John's door. John opened it surprised to see her. "Caitlyn how did you know I was here?" he asked

"A little bird told me" she said walking in.  
John closed the door and looked at her "What do you need?" he asked wearily  
"I need you John and deep down you know that you need me" she said sitting down on the bed.

John shook his head. "I won't leave my family Caitlyn. I love Evangeline. There's no choice because I've already made it 6 years ago"  
Caitlyn looked at him "Then why are you at the palace. Why this hotel John. Why didn't you go to your brother's house?" she asked softly

He didn't know what to say. He went into the bathroom. Caitlyn saw him try to escape her but she wasn't giving up. His phone rang and she picked it up. John heard the phone and Caitlyn answer before he could get in the room good and his heart sank.

"Hello" Caitlyn said looking John in the eyes  
Evangeline held the phone for a few seconds "Put my husband on the phone" she said slowly still holding her baby who was crying  
Caitlyn held the phone to John who was glaring at her. "It's your wife" she said  
John walked over and snatched the phone from her "Vange…." He started  
"Daddy" Tommy said weakly  
"Hey sport what's the matter" he said sitting on the bed.  
Caitlyn looked at him concerned. "John is something wrong with Tommy" she asked touching his shoulder. John ignored her.  
"Daddy come home" Tommy said between his sobs  
"Sure thing tomster I'm on my way. You are my big boy right" he asked  
"Yes" he said  
"You going to protect mommy until I get there right" John asked his heart pounding at hearing his son cry  
"Yes" he said weakly  
"Where's your policeman badge and night stick" John asked smiling  
"In the room daddy" Tommy said perking up  
"Okay, you go get it and guard the house until I get there okay" he said  
"Okay daddy." Tommy said John could tell he was smiling  
"Let me speak to mommy" he said  
"Vange" he said  
"See you when you get here" she said hanging up

John looked at the phone. He glared at Caitlyn "Why did you do that!" he yelled.  
Caitlyn backed up surprised by his outburst.  
"Do you think this is some kind of game" he said through his teeth  
"John no…god no…I thought you left her…I thought you came here because you wanted me" she said eyes tearing.  
"Well you thought wrong" he said throwing the phone receiver on the bed. "Get out" he said pointing to the door.  
Caitlyn couldn't hide her hurt. She started to cry. "Fine, Then I will leave" he said grabbing his stuff and shoving it into his suitcase. He walked out the room leaving her standing there.

Evangeline hung up the phone and looked at her son. "All better?" she asked  
"I got to go get my badge momma, Daddy wants me to protect you until he gets home" Tommy said climbing over her and then sliding off the bed.  
Evangeline watched him rush out the room and smiled. She looked at the phone and remembered Caitlyn answering. She shook her head and got up.

John opened the door to the house and walked in. Tommy ran out of the family room screaming "Daddy! Daddy!" he said excitedly

"Hey sport" John said scooping him up and kissing him on the forehead.  
Evangeline didn't appear from the family room so John walked in. "Is everything okay"  
She looked up from the book she was reading and nodded "Your son wanted you, hope we weren't interrupting anything" she said casually

John rolled his eyes "Vange" he started, she looked at him and shook her head and smiled at Tommy.

"How about I make my boys something to eat" she said rising  
"Yay! Mommy" he said

John smiled at her "That would be great!" he said relieved to see her smiling at him again. Especially after that stunt Caitlyn pulled.

Tommy sat at the table and talked a mile a minute. Evangeline and John focused all their energies on listening and entertaining him. After lunch they played "Chutes and Ladders" with him. When Evangeline noticed how heavy his eyes were she turned to John "Take him upstairs and put him in bed for a nap." She said rising and picking up the game.

"I not sleepy mommy I promise" he said  
"Come on Sport" John said lifting him up and putting him on his back.  
Evangeline smiled at Tommy as he looked back at her.

John came back downstairs and went to the family room Evangeline was sitting there holding her drink. He saw she'd retrieved a beer for him

He sat down and opened the beer "What happened earlier it's not what you think" he said

Evangeline looked at him "Exactly what do you know about what I think" she said  
"I know that you think I'm not here with you all the way" he said  
"I know you think that I'm torn between you two. And you couldn't be more wrong" he said staring at her.

"Can I ask you a question?" Evangeline said taking an olive out of her drink and eating it.  
"Yes baby you can ask me anything" he said tired of fighting with her.  
"Why did you go to the Palace Hotel?" she asked  
John stared at her "It was late Vange I was tired I just ended up there" he said

"Here's the thing John. It's not just that Caitlyn is alive. It's not that you hid it from me. It's not that you can't make love to me. It's the fact that when things get tough…I mean really tough you loose faith in us." She said looking at him.

"Vange you have this wrong" he said hurt that she thought he couldn't make love to her or that he had no faith in them. Hurt that she could say these things to him.

Evangeline stared at him keeping her voice lowered "The moment you found out that she was alive you ran John. That is the most telling thing to me. You ran and hid from me and the life we built" she said.

John shook his head "I was confused" he said letting tears drop.   
Evangeline got up and went to him. She knelt down in front of him. "Look at me" she said softly

"I was there remember. I know what it took for you to get over this woman. I know what her death did to your heart. You can't hide this from me. I know you" she said.

John looked at her "I want you. I love you" he said  
She smiled and wiped his tears. "Are you sure? Really?" she asked  
John looked at her and saw everything that he could loose. "Yes" he said

"Then you will have to fight for me. You will have to fight for Tommy. I can't have you like this. Neither of us can." She said staring at him.

"I don't understand. I'm here. What else could I do." He asked confused  
"Get that woman out of our lives" she said rising and looking at him fiercely  
"I want her gone. Because John as long as she's here. You won't be" she snapped and walked out of the family room.

John sat there stunned. He knew what she meant and he knew she meant it. He rose from the sofa and walked out of the door. He would have to deal with Caitlyn once and for all.

Back to Index

Chapter 14: PAST and PRESENT 

"Mommy but where is Ms. Schaffer?" Tommy asked disappointed holding Evangeline's hand tightly

"This is your new class sweetie" Evangeline said sorry to disappoint her son

"But this class doesn't have fishies " he said pouting

Evangeline knew that Caitlyn had a fish tank in her classroom.  
She scanned the classroom and saw that they had a finger paint station. She knelt down to Tommy "Look over there sweetie." She said pointing across the room. "They have finger paints and maybe you can make daddy a picture."

Tommy eyes got big "Cool…he can put it in his office" he said

"Can you do mommy a favor and make her one too for her office" she said smiling  
"I sure will mommy" he said grinning

Tommy's new teacher walked up. "Ms McBain, I was told that Tommy was moving to my class. My name is Ms. Bondurant." She said smiling. 

Evangeline shook her hand "Ms. Bondurant I don't want Ms. Schaffer anywhere near my son." She said as Tommy took off toward the other kids in the classroom.

Ms. Bondurant blinked in surprise and confusion.  
Evangeline looked at her seriously "I've already spoken to the Headmaster and he assured me this wouldn't be a problem"

"No problem, Ms. McBain the different classes only interact during recess and the teachers rarely mingle with them. I will make sure your request is respected." Ms. Bondurant said blushing

"Thank you" Evangeline said turning to exit. She didn't care what they thought as long as that woman wasn't near her child.

John sat in the meeting with Bo and Nora as they discussed the warrant for the warehouse. He barely heard a word they said

"John" Bo said again  
"Yea…I think that the weapons are in the warehouse. They aren't bringing them on the freight carriers" he said  
"We know that John" Nora replied "Bo asked if the raid would require the entire task force"   
John blushed "Guys can we do this later. I have a ton of paperwork, just tell me when and where and I will have my boys there" he said

Nora frowned "Are you okay John" she asked concerned.  
"Yea fine he said rising and walking out of the office

Bo shook his head. "I think he and Evangeline have split" he said  
Nora looked back toward the door. "I was afraid of that. I have lunch with her today" she turned back to Bo "Do you think he would go back to Caitlyn?" she asked concerned

Bo shrugged and drank his coffee.  
"If Gabrielle rose for the dead would you leave me?" Nora asked

Bo almost choked "What kind of question is that" he said trying to stop choking

"A valid one. A woman wants to know she has complete possession of her husband's heart." Nora said narrowing her eyes. "Plus when was the last time you expressed yourself romantically with me?" she asked  
"Nora we had sex this morning" he said frowning.  
"Oh jeesh Bo!" She said getting up and walking out of his office.

As she came out of the office she saw Evangeline come around the corner "Evangeline you're early" Nora said looking at her watch

"'I'm here to see Whittaker and prep him for his trial. And thanks Nora for not transferring him out to Llanview prison"

Nora looked pass Evangeline without responding. Evangeline turned around to see John standing in his door. He walked over

"Evangeline, can I speak with you?" he asked  
Nora looked at the two of them. "Come get me when you are ready" she said patting her on the shoulder   
Evangeline walked into John's office without saying anything.   
John closed the door and looked at her "Did you pull Tommy out of Caitlyn's class" he asked  
Evangeline eyes got big "I sure did" she said flatly  
"I see you and her keep in close contact" she said  
"That's not why I said that Vange, the headmaster at the school fired her" he said  
"What?" Evangeline said confused  
"Did you tell the Headmaster that you didn't trust her alone with our son." He asked  
"Yes, but I didn't mean he should fire her" she said shocked  
"Well what did you think he would do Vange, the Lieutenants wife comes to the school and says the woman is a threat to small children" he snapped  
"John that's not what I said…" she tried to interrupt  
"Did you even think how that would affect her?" he said angrily

"Wait a damn minute!" Evangeline said angrily  
"This woman inserts herself in my child's life and destroys my marriage and I'm supposed to care about her life?" she said

"That's not what I'm saying" he said softly

"The hell you aren't!" she snapped "I didn't try to get the woman fired. But am I sorry that she did get fired No!" she yelled at him. "And furthermore you are supposed to be working to remove her form our lives. Why are you fighting with me about her keeping her job" she said glaring at him.

"If she gets fired for inappropriate behavior with children she can't teach Vangie then what does she have left?" he said desperately

Evangeline looked at him and rolled her eyes "That woman knew who Tommy was when she took him in her class. She taunted me in front of my child. Had the nerve to tell him that he could stay with her if I didn't show to pick him up. Questioned him about what goes on at home between me and you…exactly what do you consider inappropriate behavior John" she said with her hands on her hips.

John lowered his head. "I'm just trying to fix this, make it right for all of us" he said

"And that's where you are wrong. The only people you need to make it right of is me and you son!" she shot back and headed to the door.

John grabbed her arm before she left "I'm sorry Vangie I didn't mean to attack you" he said softly

Evangeline softened and looked at him "Get rid of her John or Get with her either way do something" she said snatching away and walking out of his office.

Nora and Evangeline walked into Capricorn.  
"You sure you want to eat here?" Nora asked looking for a table  
"I can't go to The Palace, I'm still too embarrassed." She said  
"Oh honey" Nora said rubbing her arm

"Ladies!" RJ said appearing out of nowhere "Let me show you to a table"   
Evangeline looked at Nora and rolled her eyes. Nora giggled and followed Rj  
Evangeline went to sit and RJ made sure to pull out her chair. "Let me get you some drinks" he said walking off.

Nora leaned in "Could he be anymore obvious" she said laughing  
"I'm really not in the mood for him today" she said picking up the menu  
"RJ is what you need right now…a healthy distraction" Nora said picking up her menu  
Evangeline half choked on her own laughter "There is nothing healthy about me and RJ" she said

They both burst into laughter.  
RJ appeared with the drinks "I hope you ladies aren't laughing at me!" he said  
Nora and Evangeline looked at each other and kept laughing.

Layla opened her door to see her mom standing there "Mom what are you doing here?" she asked

Lisa walked in "Cookie won't talk to me" she said  
Layla closed the door and rolled her eyes "Do you blame her?" she asked  
Lisa saw suitcases in the living room "You taking a trip?" she said frowning.  
Layla wiped her hands on the front of her pants. "I have an audition in New York for a soap opera" she said nervously

Lisa stood there staring at her

"It's actually a small part but daytime television and plenty of exposure" she said smiling

"What about Antonio and Jamie, the life you have with him" Lisa said scowling  
"Antonio supports me. We'll make it work. Ma can't you be happy for me" she asked softly  
"Happy? Same ole selfish Layla chasing empty dreams" she spat  
Layla looked at her wounded "Why do you say things like this ma?" she asked  
Lisa whirled around glaring at her "Because I'm your mother and I have to protect you from yourself since you won't grow and do something meaningful with you life"

"Mom I love you, but something is wrong with you" Layla said  
"I beg your pardon?" Lisa said shocked

"You have bitterness in you that makes you hurtful and mean. Did you see what you did to Tommy yesterday? Let alone how you treated Vange…I can handle it because you've kicked my feelings around since I was old enough to understand. But now its too much. Do you want to grow old and alone?" she said angrily

Lisa adjusted her jacket nervously "Layla I love you and your sister. I just don't want you to make the choices I made"

Layla rolled her eyes "What bad choices mom? You had a husband that loved you and a family that adored you. A wonderful fulfilling career. What are you talking about?" she asked frustrated.

Lisa picked up her purse from the sofa and walked to Layla and kissed her on the cheek "Have a safe trip and I hope you find what you're looking for" she said walking out.

Layla looked at the door and shook her head.

John walked into the palace and saw Caitlyn at the bar. "Hey" he said sitting down.  
"Hey" she said sadly  
"Sorry about your job" he said  
"I'm sure your wife isn't" she said  
"She didn't mean for you to get fired. She was protecting our son," he said  
"From me? I love Tommy" she said  
John looked at her confused "You don't know Tommy" he said  
"You know what I mean. He's your son and for that reason alone he has part of my heart. If Haver never came into our lives he would be our son" she said sipping her drink

"That's why I want to talk to you….its time for this to end." He said  
She looked at him confused "For what to end"  
"This living in the past. You looking for a connection and me giving you hope. I want you to leave Llanview" he said looking at her.

"You want what?" she asked  
"I spoke to the Headmaster, he won't give you your job back but he will give you a recommendation. You can go anywhere" he said  
"You're trying to get rid of me?" she said angrily

John looked away "I think its best for us all" he said softly  
"You mean best for Evangeline. Is she that threatened by us?" she asked reaching for his face  
John pushed her hand away "There is no us" he said  
"John, I see it, Evangeline sees it, why can't you?" she asked hurt

"Because I'm acting on what's in my heat not what you two think you see." He snapped  
"It's Tommy…she's using him to hold on to you" she said hurt  
"Stop it!" John snapped standing rising from the bar "I want my family and I want you to go. Don't contact me; don't come near my wife, never approach Tommy. Are we clear?" he said.

Caitlyn couldn't hide her tears. "If you make me leave John I won't come back." She said  
"Leave Kate" he said softly  
"You will never see me again" she said crying  
"I know" he said sadly  
"You are willing to loose me all over again" she said shocked  
"I lost you 10 years ago. I buried you in my heart. The life we had is over. Please leave" he said and walked away.

Caitlyn watched him walk away. She let her tears flow. As she felt her sobs take over her body she felt a hand on her back. She looked up to see a kind woman offer her a handkerchief

"Thank you" she said wiping at her tears  
"You're welcome" the lady said  
"Do I know you" Caitlyn asked confused because her voice sounded familiar  
"Sort of but we've never met. My name is Nikki Smith" she said smiling.

"Well this has been fun but I got to get to court" Nora said rising from the table.  
"Thanks Nora for listening" Evangeline said.  
"Anytime sweetie, remember it's your marriage and family we're talking about here, be real careful about throwing that away. What you two have is worth getting torn apart for" she said winking at her.  
Evangeline looked up surprised to hear Johns words come out Nora's mouth.  
Nora turned and left and RJ walked over

"Can I have a seat?" he asked  
"Can I stop you?" she said  
"No, it is my restaurant" he said

Evangeline picked up her drink and said nothing

"How are you?" he asked  
"RJ I don't want to discuss my marriage with you" she said.  
"That's fine Van because all I want to talk about is you" he said smiling and reaching for her hand.  
She let him hold it. And looked at him

"Remember when you were pregnant and you called me over to your house to read me the riot act about interfering with in your life with john?"

Evangeline nodded

"That day forward I left you alone, I watched from the sidelines for years as you lived your life happy and drama free and I took comfort in knowing that you had what you wanted. But I also told you something that day. Do you remember?" he said softly

Evangeline looked at him but said nothing

"I told you that he would never love you the way I do. I don't need you to rescue me Van; I don't love you because of what you do or how you look. I love you because of you." He said

Evangeline felt her heart beat fast in her chest. The sincerity of what he said pierced it. She knew how RJ felt. The way he said he loved her is the way she loved John. She knew what he must've gone through carrying that love and not having it returned. She flashed back to when John couldn't say I LOVE YOU to her. How empty and desperate it made her feel inside. She opened her hand and took his inside of it.

"RJ, what you just said to me is beautiful. I needed to hear it. And as easy as it would be to fall into your arms and let you make me forget my own pain, I can't. The feelings that you carry for me, that intensity that you feel, I feel it for my husband." She said smiling.

RJ smiled "I'm sorry Vange for things I said to you over the years. They way I treated you. The things I did to both you and john" he said

"I know" she said smiling. Evangeline let go of her hand and got her briefcase. RJ walked over to her and grabbed her arm. He stared at her and then cupped her face "I hope he knows how special you are" he said.

She smiled but before she turned he kissed her. She allowed him to give her a kiss and then pulled away "Goodbye RJ" she said walking out.

RJ watched her leave and touched his lips. "By Van" he said under his breath.

Back to Index

Chapter 15: PAST and PRESENT 

Caitlyn threw her clothes into her suitcase crying.

Everything was wrong. If she hadn't accepted that stupid job she wouldn't have seen John and been reminded of what she lost. She gave her life for his so that he could be happy and now that Haver and his son are dead it should've been her turn dammit!

She hated Evangeline for using her son to hold onto John, she knew in her heart that John only wanted to stay with her because of that boy. Then she heard a knock at the door.

Caitlyn opened the door surprised "What are you doing here?" she asked shocked

Evangeline smiled at her "Let me in and find out" she said  
Caitlyn moved so that Evangeline could enter  
Evangeline looked at the suitcase on the bed and the tears on Caitlyns face "Taking a trip?" she said smiling

"What you came her to gloat?" she asked angrily  
"I came to make sure my husband handled this situation, and I see that he did," she snapped

Caitlyn laughed "Your husband? You mean the man you manipulated to get what you want!" she said

Evangeline frowned "What did you say to me?" she said

Caitlyn folded her arms "I had a run in with a Llanview resident who gave me your whole sorted history. Apparently John didn't exactly fall in love with you. Does the name Natalie Vega mean anything to you" she said smiling

Evangeline laughed "Sweetie you have no idea what you're talking about. Johns heart was mine before, during and after Natalie Vega left this earth." She said smiling. "And even with your so called resurrection I can't keep him away from his family"

"Exactly how was that Evangeline?" Caitlyn asked  
"How was what?" Evangeline shot back  
"How was it competing with a ghost? Watching a man pine away for his one true love while sitting back hoping one day he might love you. Being compared to someone you couldn't possibly hold a candle too"

Evangeline smiled and put her hands on her hips. "Honestly, it was hard watching the man I loved suffer because of GUILT, it tore me apart that he could never forgive himself for the way he thought you died." She said

Caitlyn smiled satisfied

"But! Its so good now Caitlyn" Evangeline said narrowing her eyes on her "You see the illusion is dead. He knows you're alive and the real thing…..well it just isn't as appealing as the ghost was. That's why his decision was made and he wants you gone." She snapped

"Does he want me gone or did you use your son as leverage to get rid of me" Caitlyn yelled

"Don't you ever speak of my child" Evangeline seethed walking closer to her. "Don't your even think of him!"

Caitlyn smiled "I touched a nerve didn't I? Is it true that you walked down the isle pregnant? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that the shotgun must have been at the door" she said nastily

Evangeline felt her rage boil in her and she looked at this so called gentle woman with hatred then she smiled "You know Caitlyn, I had an interesting conversation with John years ago" she said sweetly

Caitlyn braced herself for the fight that she was sure was about to happen when she insulted her and blinked at the change in Evangeline's tone.

Evangeline looked her in the eye "He told me how desperately you wanted to give him a baby but couldn't. The reason why you teach is due to your obsession with children and anxiety over being a failure at having your own."

Evangeline's words cut at Caitlyn's heart she stepped back from the pain of it. "How dare you!" she shouted.

"I'll tell you how dare I" Evangeline yelled. "John McBain is my husband. He wants me and the life we have. He's made that crystal clear. So finish your packing sweetie and catch the next thing smoking. Because if you go near him again, it's me you'll have to deal with." She snapped picking up her purse off the bed.

Caitlyn smiled at her "I must really be a threat for you to come over here to emphasize something that you claim is crystal clear between the two of you."

Evangeline walked to the door and turned and looked at her. "You got it wrong. I'm the threat. And if you come near my family again I'll prove it!" she hissed walking out and slamming the door.

Caitlyn picked up the lotion bottle on her bed and threw it at the door.  
Evangeline heard the thump and smiled "So you told her to leave John. Good" she said walking away.

Caitlyn picked up the phone and dialed the number on the card Nikki Smith gave her.  
She got her voice mail and left a message.

"Nikki, thank you for the offer earlier. I think you are right Evangeline needs to be taught a lesson. I am at the palace. I will wait to hear from you," she said

Headmaster Hagen sat in his chair uncomfortably and averted his eyes to avoid the angry accusations being hurled at him.

"Why, in the hell did you fire her without consulting me!" Nikki Smith yelled  
"Ms. Buchanan, I have an obligation to my students and the parents that bring their kids here…" he stammered

Nikki rolled her eyes "When I gave this school a million dollar tax free donation, I made it clear that Ms. Schaffer was to be invited here to teach the kindergarten class. I made it crystal clear!" she spat

Hagen griped the handles of his chair. He'd never seen Vikki Buchanan behave this way. She was a polished well-respected woman in Llanview. What on earth had her so angry? Surely not that mouse of a teacher?

"What do you want me to do? I can't have her teaching Tommy McBain his mother would pull him out of the school" he said wearily

Nikki Smith sat back. "I want her brought back to this school. If Evangeline has any problem with it you tell her that the visit from her husband earlier today convinced you that you were to harsh. Make her a drama teacher or something for the school play. She is to have access to Tommy. Are we clear?" she hissed

The headmaster dropped his head "Crystal" he said giving in.

Evangeline walked into the house

"SURPRISE!" John and Tommy yelled  
She looked shocked. The house was decorated with balloons and streamers and both Tommy and John were wearing birthday hats.

She dropped her briefcase confused and looked at John

Tommy ran up to his mom "Did we surprise you mommy?" he said hugging her legs

"You sure did baby" she said rubbing his head  
"John, it's not my birthday" she said confused

He smiled and walked up to her "Tommy said his mommy had been sad. He knows when he is sad the only thing that would really cheer him up is a birthday party so he wanted to throw one for you" John said kissing her forehead.

Evangeline blinked back her tears and looked at her son "You did this for mommy?" she said smiling  
"Yep" he said grabbing her hand and pulling her to the kitchen. "Now come on blow out the candles."

Evangeline followed him to the table and saw the cake" WE LOVE YOU MOMMY, JOHN AND TOMMY"

She looked at her baby and knelt down to his level. "This is best day and it's all because of you" she said kissing him

"Now kiss daddy because he helped too," he said looking up at his dad.

Evangeline smiled at the setup. John winked at her. She stood up and kissed him lightly but he forced his tongue in and she allowed him to kiss her more passionately

"Eeeewwwllll " Tommy said trying to push them apart "That's nasty" he said frowning.

They both laughed and looked at him.

"Tommy in a couple of years you want think so" John said  
Evangeline frowned "In many many many years baby" she said pinching John.

"Well let's blow out of the candles." Evangeline said turning to the cake,

"Wait mommy I have to sing Happy Birthday" he said grinning  
"Okay baby" She said giving his moment.

She looked at John while he stood beside them singing. She was so glad he did this. Especially after that nasty exchange with her and Caitlyn.

When Tommy was done Evangeline blew out the cables and broke a household rule. Desert before dinner. They sat at the table and listened to Tommy talk about his new class and the finger painting they did. When they were done Tommy jumped out of his chair.

"Mommy can I watch TV?" he asked  
"Tommy, I don't want you watching TV its not Saturday, what about playing in your room."  
"Awe Daddy please?" he begged

John looked at Evangeline "He did say please Vangie" he said caving.  
Evangeline laughed "Okay, only an hour and then its time to take your bath"

John got up from the table with Tommy so he could turn on the TV in the family room to cartoon network. Evangeline cleared the table. She was in the kitchen at the sink when John walked in.

"Hey I think I'm going to split now" he said  
She turned around disappointed "What about dinner" she asked  
He smiled "Is that an invitation" he asked fixing his blue eyes on her  
She laughed "its just dinner" she said cautiously  
"I'll take what I can get," he said

"Good" she said turning back to the counter smiling. She had her back to him so she couldn't see him smiling and he couldn't see her.

Back to Index

Chapter 16: PAST and PRESENT 

John insisted that Evangeline take a bath while he cleaned up the kitchen after dinner. 

She heard him and Tommy downstairs finishing up playing and laughing. Earlier he'd given him a bath and went over his numbers with him. Evangeline dropped the lavender into her sunken tub and got the bubbles going. It felt so good to have him in the house. Neither of them could deal with being separated from the other.

As she slid in the tub she heard him down the hall putting Tommy to sleep. She knew he'd asked Caitlyn to leave but that was for him to tell her. If his family is what he wanted then he'd have to prove it.

She heard him knock on the door before entering "Looks like someone is in bed" he said.

She smiled at him but said nothing, her nakedness covered by the bubbles.

He walked into the bathroom and came to the tub sitting on the edge. She saw the look on his face and blushed and turned her head. She was still raw from the last time they tried to make love and he rejected her.

He put one finger into the water stirring and making the bubbles separate revealing part of her body "I asked her to leave Vangie" he said softly

She stared at him but remained silent.

"I thought about what you said. I've hurt you many times over the years because of the way I've dealt with my heart" he raised his eyes from her bathwater and looked at her.

"It was never intentional, it comes from years of suffering in my own pain. The only love that I've known with a woman in my life that was free of guilt or regret is the love we shared"

Evangeline looked at him and felt some of the scars from the last week melt away. When he was honest with her, and less guarded she saw the real John.

The John she would walk over broken glass for. The love he gave her in the moments was so intense that sometimes she felt it hard to breathe.

"You are the love of my life. Yes I've loved women before you. But you are the love that sustains me. That night in the desert when I saw you in that spring vulnerable to the threat outside but wanting to comfort me I was given something I could have never imagined. A second chance. Our son and the purity of his love reminds me of my second chance everyday. I would never jeopardize it. You couldn't force me to let go of it." He said staring at her intently

"I know I broke our vows. The ones we made to each other after Christians identity was revealed. I kept a secret and lied to you. It's the only condition that you placed on our love and I was reckless to betray your trust." he said reaching in the water and caressing her leg not even pulling up his sleeve first

"You can be angry and hurt over this betrayal. You can deny me your bed and access to your heart now if you have too. But you can't keep me from you. You are apart of me and I won't let you go. It's over between me and Caitlyn," he finished.

Evangeline smiled and rose to her knees in the tub. She let the water and bubbles fall off of her leaving her exposed to him. She moved to the edge of the tub and touched his face.

"My love for you never wavers John McBain." She said gently pulling his face to hers.  
He kissed her hungrily and she gave him what he needed and kissed him back.

She pulled away "I can't take you into my bed" she said softly. "It still hurts," she said

He looked at her and she could see his passion for her in his eyes "Let me make it up to you." He said softly.

Her bottom lip quivered and she broke his stare. She didn't know if she could handle it. She knew he would never hurt her. But the idea of him thinking of another woman while he made love to her terrified her.

He pulled her face back to him. "I'm so sorry baby for what I did. I could tell you that it wasn't Caitlyn that stopped me that night, but I see you need more than words. I will get your trust back. Can I just lay with you in my arms tonight?" he asked

She smiled and let him help her out of the tub. He grabbed her towel and wiped her down. Then put her robe on her. He took her hand in silence and walked her to the bed. She looked at him and was grateful that he understood. She spooned with him while he rubbed her arm and her hair.

"Mommy" she heard softly on the outside of the door.  
"Come in Tommy" John said rising. He was next to her still fully dressed.  
"Can I sleep with you daddy?" he asked  
John smiled "Of course you can sport" he said getting out of bed and walking over picking him up. He laid Tommy on the bed next to Evangeline and then lay next to him.   
Evangeline looked at him and smiled. He kissed her and they all drifted to sleep.

John felt good reconnecting with his family.

Back to Index

Chapter 17: PAST and PRESENT 

Nikki sat in the back of the limo fuming.

"That bitch!" she said aloud.

She hit the button to lower the divider between her and the driver "Take me to the Palace" she spat. The driver nodded and pulled away from the curb. Evangeline Williamson would be made to suffer they way she made Vikki suffer all those years.

5 years earlier – 

Natalie fell immediately and started to roll down the hill. John grabbed Evangeline and moved her to the tent. More gunfire erupted shooting the flower arrangement on the bridal arc. The priest ducked and everyone got lower.

Antonio got to Natalie and saw the blood on her shirt. She was breathing shallowly and looked up at him "It's Chris" she said weakly before gasping. Antonio held her and told her to hold on but Natalie's eyes started to roll in her head as she let out her last breath.

Vikki and Jessica screamed and started making their way to her. Jessica got there first and pushed Antonio aside cradling Natalie's head in her lap. Antonio stood and looked toward the trees that covered his brother. He held his hands up and started heading toward the bushes. Jessica saw this and screamed for him to come back but Antonio kept proceeding.

Kevin grabbed his mom. "Mom please please calm down your heart"

Vikki couldn't stop the screams in her head. Her daughter lay in front of her dieing.

Kelly ran over to Kevin's side "Kevin this is killing her we have to get her from over here. The paramedics are on the way."

Kevin looked at Kelly with a tear soaked face. He heard his mother screaming and he heard Jessica screaming he didn't know what to do.

Everything went black for Vikki, she was sure she was dying. Loosing another child had killed her and she welcomed death.

She opened her eyes and was in a dark room. She sat up and looked around. Nikki Smith walked in from the shadows "What the hell is wrong with you!" she snapped

Vikki blinked in pain "Nikki please leave me alone. I can't deal with you too" she said grabbing her head and remembering that Nikki wasn't real. None of this was real.

Nikki laughed, "So Natalie is dead! Good I hated that brat," she said grinning

Vikki laid on the ground and curled into a fetal position. "You aren't here. You aren't here," she said over and over.

Nikki knelt down "I've always been here. I've just been patient." She hissed.

Vikki looked at her through her tears "Nikki my child is dead. I can't bare it. I pray that my heart stops now so I won't have to bury her. The grief of it all, I can't survive it" she said weakly

Nikki stood up and glared at her "You stupid woman! You stupid pathetic weakling! You listen to me I won't go out like this! I won't allow it," she snapped

Vikki shook her head trying to regain control. She began to whimper as she heard Nikki's voice get louder

"I watched this whole thing since the kidnapping. I know what the problem is I know who is responsible for this. And like always Vikki I'll handle it because you are too weak to do it for yourself" she shouted

Vikki opened her eyes to the vision of Nikki and begged, "Please leave John McBain alone! Nikki this isn't his fault" she said through her sobs

Nikki laughed. She laughed so hard she bent over "Who said anything about John? Its that bitch Evangeline that caused all of this!"

Present –

Nikki walked into the Palace and saw Caitlyn sitting at the table dinning alone. She fixed herself and got ready to do her best Vikki Buchanan impersonation

"Caitlyn" she said sweetly looking down at her  
"Ms. Smith please join me" Caitlyn said smiling.

The waiter came over and took her drink orders 

"Ms. Smith, thank you so much for seeing me. You were right. The Headmaster called and I'll be in charge of the Drama department at the school" she said smiling

Nikki smiled at her "Good"

She noticed the tears that welled in Caitlyn's eyes "Let me guess it didn't go that well with John" she asked sweetly

"I had no idea Evangeline was the type of woman you told me. I thought initially that you were exaggerating. But I witnessed it myself. John is so loyal to his son he can't see how evil she really is" Caitlyn said sadly

Nikki grabbed her hand. "It's up to you to save John and that precious boy," she said gently

"But how?" she asked confused

Nikki Smith stared at Caitlyn…the woman was pathetic.

She'd made a bargain with Vikki that if she stayed alive and let go of all the blubbering she would find away to get even.

She took all of Vikki's grief and anguish for her. And each year she hated Evangeline Williamson more. That goodie two shoes bitch needed to be taught a lesson.

She even went to Asa to get him to dig up something on her and nothing. She'd hired a private investigator that spent money and resources and nothing. Then the agent called a year ago and said that he uncovered a hot file on McBain. A file in regards to Haver and Caitlyn. She knew then how to handle this.

"I believe that you are a good woman Caitlyn" Nikki said sweetly "I can tell you have a great love of kids."

Caitlyn smiled and nodded

"I think Tommy needs your help." She finished

Caitlyn frowned. "He needs my help?"

"Yes both he and John need you," she said touching her hand.

Nikki told Caitlyn how she could be a mother and have the man of her dreams. She could have the life that Evangeline stole from her. Caitlyn listened part frightened and the other part intrigued. She loved John and adored Tommy. Evangeline didn't deserve them. She would let Nikki Smith help her.

RJ walked into the Palace with Lindsey. He was going to move forward with there future. 

It was time for both of them to let go of the past. As they walked to the table he saw McBain's mistress with Vikki Buchanan. He looked at them and frowned.

Lindsey turned to see where he was staring "Do you know her?" she asked in regards to Caitlyn

RJ shook his head "No, but that's an odd match" he said still staring  
Lindsey frowned "Why?"  
RJ turned and smiled at Lindsey "Never mind that's none of our concern. Tonight is about us"

Nikki Smith walked out of the Palace and climbed into her limo. Since she bought Caitlyn to town she has had to keep Vikki on lock and key. What she'd planned she couldn't pull off with Vikki loose. Besides it would all be over soon. And Vikki could let go of her pain and have some fun again. She thought to herself snapping her fingers and smiling.

Back to Index

Chapter 18: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline knocked on Antonio's office door.

He looked up and smiled "Hey" he said

"Hey yourself" she said walking in.

Antonio looked at her "You cool? he asked

She hadn't seen him since the incident at the Palace. "I'm sorry about that" she said "And I'm sorry I haven't been here much lately leaving you to shoulder my entire case load"

Antonio laughed "Actually its still all waiting on you" he said sheepishly

Evangeline laughed

Antonio looked at her "So things must be good?"

"There better" she said taking a seat "How about you and Layla?" she asked

Antonio smile faded "She's gone" he said dryly

Evangeline looked at confused "Gone?" she said

"Yep looks like she got the part in New York" he said moving papers across his desk

Evangeline sighed "So she left? Just like that?" she asked with sarcasm

Antonio looked at Evangeline "I couldn't step on her dream. I couldn't control her. She needed to do this Vange and if we have any future together I had to let her go," he said

Evangeline smiled at him. Her sister would learn someday that you don't find love like that everywhere "How's Jamie taking it?" she asked

Antonio shook his head "Not good at all. I know it's the middle of the week but John said it would be okay if Tommy stayed with me tonight since he and Jamie go to the same school. It would do Jamie some good"

Evangeline blinked in surprise "John said what?" she asked confused.

Antonio looked at her and smiled "I think the man has a surprise for you" he said

She smiled back. "Well Tommy is to have at most 1 hour of TV and be in bed by 8" she said rising. "Did my husband pack him a bag?" she asked looking back at Antonio

"We got this!" he said winking

Evangeline shook her head and walked out to his office.

She entered her office to find Lisa sitting and waiting for her  
She sighed and walked to her desk  
"Cookie why haven't your returned my calls?" she asked  
"Mom, you know why," she said looking at her  
"I am so sorry I hurt that baby. I would never hurt him intentionally. I haven't seen him in a week and it's killing me" Lisa said with her voice cracking

Evangeline looked at her mom and softened "Mom, I told you that you would have to respect my marriage and John. If you don't I can't have you around my son. He loves his dad and they have a special bond. I won't let you influence him one way or the other," she said

Lisa dropped her head "Cookie are you back with him?" she asked softly

Evangeline raised an eyebrow "My god did you just hear me?" she said frustrated

"Let me tell you a story." Lisa said rising from her chair

Evangeline looked at her confused.

"Your dad was a good man cookie with a lot of potential" Lisa said walking over to the window and staring out of it. She turned back and looked at her daughter "Did you know that he wanted to be an attorney?" she asked

Evangeline was shocked she had no idea that dad wanted to go into law

Lisa smiled "Of course you didn't. Well he did and he was pre-law too. I used to watch him on campus. Every time he walked into the student center women would swoon. I was in love with him before he knew me. And I love him still years after his death" she said sadly letting her tears fall.

Evangeline got up and went to her mom "Mom, I'm sorry…here sit down" she said guiding her to the sofa in her office.

"Cookie listen. I'm not proud of it but I wanted that man. I wanted him to love me. I did everything to get his attention. But he was consumed with his dream of being an attorney. He was so driven." She said

"One night at a party he noticed me. He actually saw me. We danced and talked all night. He told me he wanted to make a change for our people, it was a different time back then and he wanted to be the next Thurgood Marshall. We went to the hill and watched the sun rise. It was the night you were conceived."

This didn't shock Evangeline. She knew when her parents graduated and when she was born overlapped each other. She never saw their marriage license but she had her suspicions.

She looked at her mom "Mom why are you telling me this. Are you saying that you forced daddy to marry you?" she asked softly

"No," she said standing. "I wanted an abortion. I didn't want to ruin his life or mine." She said coldly

The bluntness of her statement made Evangeline shiver.

"Your dad however was having none of that. He loved you cookie before you were born. He changed his major so he could graduate sooner and married me right away. He went into education to make sure that you were equipped with everything needed to be GREAT in this world. He was obsessed with you. The moment you were born I was on the outside looking in. He wouldn't let anyone near you. He fawned on you and kept you close" 

Evangeline heard the bitterness in her voice. She knew that her mom always resented her relationship with her dad. She just never understood why she took it out on Layla.

As if Lisa heard her thoughts she shot Evangeline a heated glare "I loved you both. Both of my children." She snapped

"Mom you aren't making sense. If dad wanted to marry you and you had a good life what's wrong"

Lisa dropped her face in her hands and cried, "I don't think I can do this," she sobbed

"Mom what is it! You're scaring me!" she said grabbing her and forcing her to look at her.

"I was lonely Evangeline. I was alone, you and your father spoke a different language. You never let me in.," she shouted

Evangeline let her go and backed up "My god momma what did you do?" she asked as what Lisa was trying to say sunk in

"I had an affair. Layla is not your fathers," she blurted out.

Evangeline's mouth dropped open "What?" she stammered

"Did you ever wonder why he treated her differently? Why she behaves so differently. Why she's such a failure" she asked looking at Evangeline in pain.

Evangeline recoiled from her mother in disgust "You had a child by another man and then you punished the child?" she said in horror.

"You and daddy! You made Layla feel like less than perfect because you couldn't face each other! What kind of monsters were you!" she said backing away.

Lisa burst into tears "I love my children. I love them both. But your father could never forgive me. And Layla she always tested me. Its like she was my punishment for being such a horrible wife." she said through her sobs.

Evangeline glared at her mom "You listen to me. Don't you ever repeat what you said to me today again" she hissed

Lisa looked at her shocked

"Layla will never learn of this. It would kill her" Evangeline ran her hands through her hair exhausted by her mom's confession

"I told you this Evangeline to help you," she said weakly

Evangeline looked back at her disgusted "Help me?" she said shocked

"Yes baby, you are repeating my mistakes getting pregnant and then using that precious boy to hold onto a man. I used you and Layla against your father and it cost me the love that I really wanted."

Evangeline backed away from her "I'm nothing like you" she said weakly

Lisa walked to her "Yes you are. You walked down the isle pregnant just like I did. You had a man that proposed only because you were pregnant. When I first met John he couldn't even say he loved you" she said reaching for her daughter

Evangeline screamed, "Get out!" and burst into tears.

Antonio and Mary ran into her office to see Evangeline bent over and Lisa hovering over her.

"Vange what's wrong?" Antonio said running to her side

Evangeline kept hearing her moms voice in her head. She cried and screamed again "Get her out of here now!"

Antonio looked up at Lisa who was now crying.

"Ms Williamson please go" he said looking at her confused.

Lisa grabbed her purse and ran out of the office.

Antonio helped Evangeline to the couch and she held onto him shaking and crying.

Mary came back into the office with water "Here Ms. McBain" she said gently

"Do you want me to call John?" Antonio asked

"No" she said weakly "I'll be okay"

Antonio stroked her hair. "What on earth is going on Vange?" he asked

"Antonio" She said looking at him " Go to New York and bring my sister home. Tell her you love her and marry her." Evangeline said

Antonio blinked at her "Vange I"

"Please make her happy, make her feel loved" she said bursting into tears.

Antonio rocked her confused. He didn't know what to think.

Back to Index

Chapter 19: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline turned into her home and saw a private limo with driver waiting in front of it. She pulled in the driveway and parked.  
When she got out of the car and looked at the driver standing in front of the limo tipped his hat at her and smiled.

"Whose here?" she thought. When she got to the door she saw an envelope taped to it with her name on it. She smiled and opened it.

Can you follow instructions?  
Go into our bedroom and get dressed. The driver will take you where you need to go.

Love  
J-

She laughed at the note. Apparently Antonio was right. She opened the door and went upstairs into her bedroom. Her attire was laid out on the bed. She walked over to the bed and picked up the cocktail dress. Included were the shoes and the G-string underwear he liked "So you think you're getting some McBain?" she said laughing.

She undressed quickly and hurried to the shower. Showering in the steam and she tried to force the confession from her mother out of her head. She didn't know what to make of Lisa. She just didn't want to deal with the accusations hurled at her. She thought about her life with John. It wasn't normal. But it was real. John wanted her and a family before she was pregnant with Tommy. Her mother was wrong.

Evangeline looked at herself in the mirror. She hoped she didn't take too much time but she wanted to look perfect for him. She smoothed her long mane and checked her makeup again. "Perfect" she thought turning and grabbing her purse racing outside to the car. She walked to the limo and the driver opened the door.

She got in the car and saw the envelope waiting for her on the seat.

Meet me on the roof  
Love you  
J-

She leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes. If he didn't want his family then what was this mom, she thought. She couldn't help herself. Her mother's words today split her heart in two. It made all of her unspoken fears come up to the surface. The recent events with Caitlyn had her raw. She needed to believe that if their baby wasn't here that John would still choose her. She opened her eyes and blinked back the tears. "He loves me" she said to herself softly looking out the window as the city passed by. "He loves me and only me" she said smiling.

The car stopped and she looked out the window to see she was at the Buchanan Towers. "Nice choice" she thought to herself. The driver opened the door and helped her out. She entered the towers and was greeted by another man dressed in a tux.

"Ms. McBain, your husband awaits you in a private dining area on the roof of the towers" he said bowing

Evangeline couldn't believe that John pulled this off. She smiled at the man at headed to the elevator pressing the penthouse button to access the roof. As the elevator climbed her anxiety slowly subsided. Her mom would not ruin this for her, she and John would enjoy this night no matter what.

The door opened and she stepped off. A sign with an arrow pointed to the end of the hall. She walked to the end and opened the double doors. She heard the live band playing Etta James "At Last" softly to the right. She stepped further onto the roof to see John standing by the table decorated for them in a tux. She smiled. If John wore a tux he was really pulling out all the stops.

He walked over to her and lifted her hand. "Nice dress" he said looking into her eyes.  
She smiled at him "Nice tux" she said  
He led her to the table and helped her into her chair.  
As soon as he sat down the waiter bought champagne and poured it for them. She stared at John as he stared at her.  
"So you okay?" John asked staring at her intensely  
She smiled "Of course" she said  
"I spoke to Antonio" he said still staring at her.  
"Let's not discuss that" she said nervously picking up the glass and drinking the champagne  
He smiled "Tonight we discuss everything Vangie, tonight we resolve it all" he said seriously  
Evangeline looked away at the spread he brought together. How on earth did he pull this off? She wondered  
"John how earth did you arrange this?" she said smiling back at him  
"I have my ways babe, now tell me what Lisa said that upset you so much" he said not allowing her to change the subject

Evangeline frowned "It was more about me using Tommy to keep you." she mumbled  
John rolled his eyes "Your mom Vange, it's getting really old" he said  
Evangeline nodded "I told you it was best we didn't discuss it" she said hurt  
John knew it was more to it and whatever Lisa said made it raw for his Vangie all over again.

He held his hand out to her. "Can we dance?" he asked  
She looked at him relieved "Lets" she said standing.  
She allowed him to hold her tight and moved with the music. She relaxed and pushed all doubts from her mind.  
"Evangeline" he said softly  
"Yes" she said with her eyes closed and head on his shoulder  
"What do you think about having another baby" he asked

Evangeline eyes popped open and she looked at him "A what?" she said stunned  
He smiled at her "A baby" he said smiling

She didn't know what to think. It wasn't something that she even considered. Their schedules made it had to keep up with Tommy, the first two years of Tommy's life she had to cut back on her practice considerably and she just started this partnership with Antonio. "John I don't know" she said still stunned

He kissed her forehead. "I spoke to Michael an he said that you should be okay" he said softly  
She blinked at him "You did what?" she asked  
"I spoke to Michael to find out if it would be a problem" he said

She stopped dancing and stepped away from him. "Why would you discus this with Michael before saying anything to me" she said angrily

John looked at her surprised "It wasn't like that sweetie, it was an informal conversation that just came up, I was curious"

She backed away from him. "Am I not enough!" she snapped "Do you need another baby to stay in love in with me!" she yelled with tears in her eyes.

John looked at her confused "What are you talking about?" he said

"A baby, you married me because I was pregnant!" she snapped

John shook his head and stepped closer to her "Sweetie what's going on with you? Where are you getting this from?" he said worried by the panic and pain he saw on her face.

She wrapped her arms around her and bit her lip. The wind on the roof stirred and blew her hair away from her face and she felt it swipe at her tears as well. "I want to know that you love me for me" she said with a voice shaking

John walked closer to her "Why would you say that..why would you think it?" he said hurt.

"My mom, Caitlyn maybe the whole town knows our history. They know that you married me when I was pregnant, people think that you only did it because I was pregnant" she said dropping her head.

"And what do you think Evangeline?" he said lifting her chin and forcing her to look at him. "Why did I marry you?" he asked softly

"I I I think you love me I guess" she said shakily  
"Do you think it or do you know it" he asked concerned  
"I I I don't know anymore John, there are things about me you still don't know. Things about my family that you don't know" she said looking away  
"After six years you think I don't know you?" he said smiling. "Evangeline not only do I know you I treasure you" he said  
"You don't know everything" she said shaking her head.  
"Then enlighten me" he said folding his arms and staring at her

"My mom she used us to manipulate my dad. She broke her vows in her marriage and Layla isn't my fathers. My dad used me to punish her. We were nothing but pawns to both of them. I was never allowed the chance to be a normal kid. I always had to excel and over achieve. My father rewarded me with Love only when I made him proud. Only if I met the goals he set for me. I can't fail. I can't fail John. I can't. If I fail no one would be there. I'll have nothing" she said weakly

John looked at her shocked. He had no idea she carried this pain in her. She kept it buried deep and put everyone before her. Even him. Never allowing herself any freedom to be just her.

"Vangie, do you think my love for you is because of your perfection? Do you think I would leave you if you exposed your need to be vulnerable" he asked

"John when I met you the first thing you marveled about me was my strength. When you went through your discovery of your own pain and awakening of surviving it you relied on my strength to see you through it. That was fine. But you never allowed yourself to see what it did to me. Your not being able to tell me you love me. You constantly putting Natalie's needs before me. You rescuing her before me."

"Stop" he said walking to her and putting his finger to her lip.

"I did rely on your strength and Vangie it's not an illusion you are the strongest woman I know. But you never fooled me. I knew you were vulnerable. I knew you needed to be reassured of your importance to the man you loved. That's why I fought so hard to be the man you deserved. That's why I fought to make you believe in marriage and family. I knew that you convinced yourself you didn't need it but it was just your way of protecting yourself from being vulnerable."

Evangeline looked at him and swiped her tears. "I do need you John, I love my life with you and Tommy, if I lost either of you I wouldn't survive" she said going into his arms.

He stroked her hair "You aren't your parents Vangie, your mothers mistakes aren't genetic. You are the best of both of them and you deserve a happiness all your own" he said pulling her face up and kissing her."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. "John" she said as he kissed and ran his hands over her back to her but and thighs "I want you to make love to me" she said melting in his arms

"What about dinner and dancing…everything I got planned" he asked  
"What about it?" she said seductively  
"I guess then that brings me to your other surprise" he said mischievously  
She looked at him and grinned "What have you done?"

He took her hand and led her back off the roof into the corridor. They walked to the penthouse suite. Walking into the room was amazing. Everything was white including the calla lilies throughout the room. She dropped his hand and walked in admiring the king size bed that sat on slats giving an oriental feel to the room. It was beautiful.

She turned around and looked at him. "You sure did pull out all the stops. Isn't this Kevin Buchanan's private suite?" she asked

John shrugged his shoulder and dimmed the light. He went to the panel in the wall that revealed the audio system and played soft jazz. She looked at him "Very presumptuous of you to secure this room. Mr. McBain" she said smiling.

"I had no expectations only hope" he said looking her up and down.  
She walked over to him and undid his tie. "Hopes hunh?" she asked helping him out of his jacket. He stared at her lovingly and smiled.

She unbuttoned his shirt and removed his cufflinks. John never took his eyes off her. She kissed his chest and undid his belt, then looked up at him. "Will you lay down for me?" she said seductively

He smiled at her and walked to the bed. Removing his pants first he climbed on it and propped the pillow up behind his head so he could watch her.

She met his stare and kicked off her shoe. Then took off the other. She reached behind her and undid her zipper and maneuvered out of the dress. She saw him admiring her body and felt aroused. She undid her bra and remained in front of him in her G-string.

She climbed the bed and brought her face close to his "I love you too" she said.

He smiled at her and ran his hands through her hair. "That's a relief" he said pulling her into a kiss. He rolled her over and stopped kissing her "I'm so sorry for everything Vangie, you deserve the best I have to give. I want a baby with you because I want to continue to grow in our love. I want to make sure that Tommy has a sibling. I want a little girl who has your smile and beauty" he said softly

"I want to a baby with you too." she said reaching up and kissing him. He pulled her out of her panties and kissed her neck. She closed her eyes and felt him explore her body and use his tongue to deliver the ecstasy that he craved. 

When he climbed in between her legs and entered her she held her breath to hold onto the intense passion of that moment. She thought of all the times he made love to her and this one was different. It was for her the first time she felt he really knew her. She matched his rhythm and moaned with desire as he forced her past limits that she didn't know she had.

"Open your eyes" he said hoarsely through their love making. She opened her eyes and saw his sea blue eyes staring into hers.

"I want you to see my love for you" he said as he continued to thrust into her. She held onto him and felt protected in his gaze. She knew in that moment that what they had was deeper than anything she'd experienced in her life. She belonged to him and she would give him everything she had. They soon after climaxed and he collapsed on top of her. She stroked his head and then back. His weight was comforting and she wanted him to remain inside of her. Then he pulled out and pulled her to him. For her their love was complete.

Her mom was wrong  
Caitlyn was wrong  
She was wrong…this man loved her beyond any shadow of a doubt and no one would ever make her believe differently again.

Back to Index

Chapter 20: PAST and PRESENT 

"Tommy can you come here a minute" Caitlyn said sweetly to him as he climbed the jungle gym on the playground during recess

Tommy looked back to see who had called him "Ms Schaffer!" he said jumping down and running to her. He threw his arms around her neck  
"I've missed you. Why aren't you in my class no more" he asked her

Caitlyn smiled "You mean why aren't you in my class sweetie" she said running her hands through his curly hair. He was a beautiful little boy. His skin was a light mocha brown and he had jet black curly hair. His eyes were a chestnut brown and just as hypnotic as his fathers. She stared at him and saw John in him. She loved him as if he belonged to her and John.

"Tommy can you do something sweetie" she asked him quickly before Ms.Bondurant noticed he was missing.  
"Yes" he said grinning at her  
"Promise me that we will be secret friends," she said  
"Secret?" he asked confused  
"Yes, whatever we do or wherever we go it will always be our secret," she said rubbing his face  
"Cool…like a spy! Me and daddy watched a spy movie and everything was a secret," he said  
Caitlyn smiled and shook her head "Well I guess sweetie like a spy" she said  
"Okay Ms. Schaffer we will be spy's" he said turning to run back to the playground  
Caitlyn grabbed his arm. "Tommy" she said  
"Yes" he said impatient because he wanted to go join his friends  
"Who picks you up from school? Your grandma?" she asked  
"I dunno, my grandma hasn't come.. Uncle Tonio did yesterday. I dunno Ms. Schaffer," he said  
"Okay sweetie" she said letting him go as she saw Ms. Bondurant approach

"Brenda what are you doing" Ms. Bondurant asked angrily  
"I was just speaking to him Angie" Caitlyn said rolling her eyes  
"His mother doesn't want you around him, she made that really clear. I will have to tell her about this" Ms Bondurant said glaring at her.  
"You do that and I will tell the Headmaster about you and Pete the janitor" she snapped

Ms Bondurant stepped back in surprise. She looked at Caitlyn with contempt and stormed off calling her class off the playground. 

Caitlyn watched Tommy skip over to his teacher and smiled. "It's okay sweetie I will protect you" she said to herself and walked back into the building.

John sat in his office tossing his stress ball in the air. He'd never felt closer to Evangeline and was so relieved that they were back on the same page. 

Caitlyn peeked in his office "Is this a bad time?" she asked  
He looked up surprised "Caitlyn?" he said shocked  
She came in smiling "Hi, John" she said closing the door.  
"I thought you left. What are you doing here?" he asked  
"I came to thank you," she said  
"Thank me?" he said surprised  
"Yes for getting me my job back," she said sitting down  
"Hunh?" John said confused  
"The headmaster said that what you said got through to him. He gave me back my job," she said  
"Wait..I never asked" he started  
"Yes you did, and I know why you did it" she said

John looked at her shocked "Why?" he asked

"Because you didn't want me to leave. You needed to keep me near. John I feel the same way. Llanview feels like home to me," she said

John stared at her. The look on her face was wrong. Everything about her was wrong. She seemed detached from reality to him "Caitlyn are you alright?" he asked

"I am now" she said seductively  
"I don't know what the Headmaster told you but I didn't campaign to get your job back. I just didn't want you fired. I have no desire to keep you here in town. As a matter of fact, I think it would be good for you if you left" he said patiently  
"That's not true," she said  
"What's not true?" he said  
"That it would be good for me if I left. What would be good for me is to have my life back. My life with you" she said softly

John got up from his seat and walked around to her "Caitlyn I'm worried about you. You are fixated on something that's not real. We aren't an option. You need to move on," he said

"It's your son and I get that John, but soon we will be a family. You'll see" she said rising and walking to the door. 

"Caitlyn, stay away from Tommy and Evangeline" he said seriously "Let go and leave Llanview, this will be the last time I tell you this"

Caitlyn turned around and smiled "You'll see John" she said and walked out.

John sat there absorbing the strange visit. He didn't want Caitlyn here. He'd told Evangeline she was leaving. Even more strange is the ominous tone in her voice. He'd talk to Vangie today about this.

Evangeline had her head down working on her deposition when she heard a knock on her open door. She looked up to see Vikki Buchanan standing there.

"Vikki, what a pleasant surprise" she said smiling  
"Hi dear" Nikki Smith said smiling  
"Please come in," she said

Nikki walked in and sat down at the seat Evangeline offered.

"What brings you bye?" Evangeline asked smiling  
"Well I heard about your evening last night at the Towers" she said staring at her  
Evangeline blushed and dropped her eyes "Umm..okay" she said embarrassed  
"Was it nice?" she asked  
Evangeline smiled "It was beautiful" she said wondering why Vikki Buchanan would visit her about last night  
"Good, after that horrible scene at The Palace I was afraid you two would never get passed it" she said coolly  
Evangeline's smile dropped off her face "Excuse me?" she said

"Kevin told me that John used the towers for a romantic gesture and although I think that's grand I find it highly inappropriate" Nikki seethed, trying not to blow her cover.

Evangeline looked at Vikki confused, something was wrong with her. She'd never seen her this rude before it was like she was taunting her.

"Ms. Buchanan what do you want from me?" Evangeline asked  
"Just to remind you and your husband of your place dear. Never use my family for your own entertainment purposes" she said rising.

Evangeline just stared dumbfounded. She had a lot of respect for this woman but this visit had her speechless. "It won't happen again" she said coolly

Nikki turned and looked at her "How's that beautiful little boy of yours?" she asked smiling  
"He's fine" Evangeline said slowly  
"Such a handsome youngman" Nikki said walking toward the door.

Evangeline watched her leave. "What the hell was that about?" she thought

John walked into the hospital and headed for Michaels office. He saw him standing in the hall talking with other physicians  
Michael looked up and smiled excusing himself "Hey" he said

"Mike can we talk?" John asked  
"Sure" Michael said walking back to his office

They went into his office and John started right away "It's Caitlyn" he said running his hands through his hair

Mike frowned "You and Vange can't get pass this hunh?" he said concerned  
John looked up at him confused "Me and Vangie are fine" he snapped  
Mike threw his hands up "Okay sorry…jeesh…then what's wrong?" he said

"Something is off about Caitlyn he said" plopping down in the chair  
"I don't understand?" Mike said  
"She came to see me, to tell me she was staying in town, she referred to me and her as a family" he said concerned  
"Oh…she's having a hard time getting over it" Mike said comprehending John's anxiety

"It's more than that," he said looking frustrated. "For the first time since I've known her she seems lost."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Mike asked confused  
"You two had a good relationship once, I can't get involved. Could you talk to her? Get her understand why she needs to leave. Help her," he asked

Mike nodded "Of course bro, I love Kate I'll talk to her and make sure she understands" he said.

John stood relieved "Okay, thanks bro. I don't want Evangeline burdened with this." He said turning to leave.

"John" Mike said stopping him from leaving  
"Yes" he said  
"Are you really over her?" he asked  
John smiled "Completely" he said walking out

Evangeline saw Tommy running to her with his book bag on his back "Hey Mommy" he said jumping up and down

"Hey baby" she said rubbing his head. She looked up at Ms. Bondurant and waved. The teacher half smiled and waved but turned and headed in the other direction.

After securing Tommy in the car she pulled out of the school "So how was school today baby" she asked  
"Cool, I made you a picture for your office" he said reaching for his book bag  
"Okay leave it honey until we get home" she said looking at him in the rearview mirror  
"Mommy I have a secret" he said looking out of the window smiling  
"You do?" she said half listening because of her attempt to merge back into traffic.  
"Yep, I'm a spy and I have to keep a secret about my friend" he said

Evangeline blinked and looked back in the mirror "You're a spy with a secret friend?" she asked

"Yep, Ms. Schaffer!" he said laughing  
Evangeline almost swerved. "What?" she said shocked  
Tommy kept laughing "Ms. Schaffer and I are spy's and we have a secret" he said  
Evangeline stared at her son. "Tommy is Ms. Schaffer at your school," she asked  
"Yes I saw her today" he said  
"Really" she said looking back to the road.  
"Yep and she told me that we are spy's and we have a secret" he said  
"Tommy, you don't keep secrets from mommy and daddy" she said.

Tommy looked at her confused "Even if I'm a spy?" he asked

"That's right baby even if you are a spy. You tell us everything." She said her temper boiling now.  
"Okay mommy" he said.  
"What else did Ms. Schaffer say sweetie?" she asked  
"I don't know," he said looking out the window.  
"It's important sweetie, can you remember what else" she said  
Tommy reached for his book bag again "She wanted to know who picked me up from school" he said disinterested in the conversation.

Evangeline kept her eyes on the road. How dare that bitch approach her child and tell him to keep it a secret. She thought about her wanting to know who picked him up. Why the hell did she want that information? That was it. Tommy would not be going back She and John would have a talk.

John walked in the house and headed to the family room. He'd gotten home after 9 so he figured Tommy was sleep and Evangeline would be in there working. He walked in the room to see her sitting in her chair fuming

"What's wrong babe?" he asked  
"That woman is using my child to get to me," she snapped  
John looked at her confused "What?" he asked  
"Caitlyn, she wasn't fired. Did you know that!" she snapped  
"I found out today." He said walking in and sitting down  
"She approached Tommy and told him that they were spy's and to keep secrets. She wants my baby to spy on us!" she yelled  
"Vangie calm down" he said  
"Calm down!" I told her to stay away. I told her not to mess with my family and me." She said rising and pacing the floor.  
"You did what?" he asked confused  
"I went to see her and told her to stay away from my family," she snapped glaring at him  
"Why Vangie? You asked me to handle it" he asked frustrated  
"Whatever" she said still pacing  
"Caitlyn wouldn't hurt Tommy. I am sure this is a misunderstanding" he said softly  
"What? How the hell do you know? You don't know where she's been for 10 years. What type of person she is now! She approached our son. Do you want him to know about this woman and her history with your" she said angrily

"No of course not" he said dropping his head in frustration  
"Tommy will not be going back. I will talk to that Headmaster and give him a piece of my mind." She said heatedly "She even inquired about who picks him up. That right there lets me know she's up to something!"

"This may be partly my fault" he said weakly  
Evangeline stopped and stared at him "How so!" she snapped  
"I went to the Headmaster to ask that he not fire her so her record wouldn't reflect it. So she could continue to teach elsewhere," he said  
"You did what?" she said with her eyes getting big  
"He misinterpreted what I said. I just wanted her to move on and not be anymore hurt than need be," he said

"I can't believe you," she said sitting down in her chair frustrated  
"Vangie, the woman is not a evil. She is a victim in this too. She had no idea I was in Llanview. I made it clear to her to leave town. I just didn't feel the need to crush her before asking her to go"  
"I don't want that woman near my baby!" she said looking at him angrily  
"I don't want her to say another word to him! I mean it John"

"Okay, will you let me handle it? Tommy loves his school and he's been pulled out of her class don't disrupt him any further. Let me handle it" he said walking over to her and kneeling in front of her.

"I mean it John, get rid of her and keep her from our son." She said tired of fighting.

He moved her hair out of her face "Calm down. Mike is going to deal with Caitlyn and I will deal with the school. I don't want you stressing over this," he said gently

She looked at him and she trusted him. But her instincts told her that Tommy should not be anywhere near Caitlyn. "Handle it John but if she so much as looks at him again I will snatch him out and you won't stop me," she said rising and walking away out of the room.

John looked and watched her leave. "Dammit Kate…what are you up too?" he said rubbing his face.

Back to Index

Chapter 21: PAST and PRESENT 

John sat in the family room drinking his beer thinking of what Evangeline said.

He was doing it again, he was allowing others to influence and interfere with his family. He should have been firmer with Caitlyn.

Her calling them a family was disturbing. Vangie said that he didn't know Caitlyn anymore because it's been 10 years. She was right. What had she done in those 10 years? How did she handle being isolated from her friends and family? What did that isolation do to her?

Approaching Tommy was way out of line. His son is to never suffer a moment of pain or hurt because of his past mistakes. He would make sure of that.

He put down the beer and looked at the ceiling. Evangeline was probably in bed and he didn't want to fight with her.

They'd just got back on track. Walking out of the family room up the stairs he reflected on his constant battle to keep his love for Evangeline solid.

It just shouldn't be this hard. He walked in the room and the lights were off. Removing his clothes her saw her stir on the bed and knew that she wasn't quite sleep.

He climbed under the covers and pulled her over to him. She didn't turn to look at him like she normally did so he knew she was mad "You asleep?" he whispered in her ear.

"No" she said softly  
"I'm sorry babe," he said slipping his arm under hers and caressing her stomach.

"Don't be sorry, just make her go away" she said voice cracking

He kissed her head "Vangie, I can't make her do anything. I can however keep her away from you and Tommy and I will" he said snuggling close to her

Evangeline turned over and looked at him. "I know you are doing the best you can, but I would like the normalcy and peace back in our lives. The last five years have been wonderful…I don't want to go back to the days of Castillo, Spencer and Haver. We have a son and we have to protect him," she said

"I know sweetie. I swear to you that I will keep you and Tommy safe. Caitlyn may be a lot of things lately but she isn't crazy. She wouldn't hurt our son"

Evangeline turned her head away from him and stiffened

"You don't get it John, its not that you think she wouldn't. It's that you consider her at all. Tommy is what is important here. You have to put him first" she said moving away from him.

John lay on his back. "Evangeline if you want to pull him out of the school fine" he said giving up.

Evangeline lay there in silence with him. She didn't want to fight, but the idea of that woman making some kind of pact with her child frightened her. She knows that her fear maybe irrational because of his connection to her. But the fear was there anyway.

She rolled over and put her hand on his chest. Lifting herself she propped her head on her bent arm and looked down on him. "I trust you to protect us. I'm sorry," she said relenting.

He looked at her and touched her face "I will always protect us, I just want you to believe in me again," he said gently

She bent down and kissed his lips. He rubbed her back  
"John" she said pulling away from him  
"Yes" he said staring up at her  
"About that baby" she said smiling  
"Yea" he said  
"Want to start tonight" she said   
He laughed. "I'll use any excuse to make love to my wife" he said pulling her back to him.

Morning 

John walked Tommy into the school. "Daddy, will you pick me up too?" he asked

"I sure will sport" he said holding his hand.   
"Cool" Tommy said skipping along with his father.

John dropped Tommy off at class and then headed to the Headmaster's office. As he rounded the corner Caitlyn saw him approach the door. She frowned and ducked back so she wouldn't be seen. Once he entered it she went and stood outside of it to listen,

"Mr. McBain…what a surprise" Hagen said  
"Mr. Hagen we need to talk" John said seriously  
"Is everything okay?" Hagen asked nervously  
"I was under the impression that Ms. Schaffer would no longer be at your school" John said sitting

"Well after careful thought and your sincere request I thought maybe I'd been to hasty," he said averting his eyes.

"My wife and I are concerned with her having access to our son. Yesterday she cornered him and suggested that they keep secrets and spy at home," he said

Caitlyn's mouth drop. Evangeline mis-interputed what she said to Tommy and now was using John to get her fired again. Nikki Smith was right, this had to be done. That woman was a pariah! She would return to her hotel and start packing. Her plan had to be moved up. She thought rushing away from the door.

Hagen looked at John with shock "Excuse me, she did what?" he asked

"Listen, my wife wants to pull Tommy from your school and I'm trying to convince her that we can handle this. I don't want Ms. Schaffer fired but I would appreciate that you respect my wife's wishes and keep them apart." He said

Mr. Hagen shook his head "This is getting way out of hand. I will speak to Brenda today and please apologize to Ms. McBain for me." He said sincerely

John nodded and walked out. He considered going to see Caitlyn but thought better of it. He would let Michael deliver his message. He hoped she finds what she is looking for.

Mr. Hagen paged Caitlyn on the intercom. His secretary comes in and informs him that she left for the day and Ms. Green will be teaching her class. Mr. Hagen rolled his eyes and sat back behind his desk. 

Caitlyn rushed in the Palace. She had little time to pack. Nikki told her everything was prepared. She didn't see Michael approach as she headed for the elevator

"Kate" Mike said  
She turned around out of breath "Oh hey Mike…what's going on?" she said pressing the button.

"Do you have a minute? I'd like to talk to you" he said

She looked at him and frowned "Actually I'm in a hurry" she said looking at the numbers of the elevator slowly drop by floors.

"It will only take a minute I promise," he said patiently

She saw how sincere he was and looked at her watch

"Okay Mike" she said stepping to the side and sitting in the lounge chair in the lobby

"How are you?" he asked  
She fiddled with her purse "I'm good really good and you" she smiled

"I'm getting married so everything is good for me now" he said laughing  
She smiled again "Mike what did you want to talk to me about?"  
"I want to talk to you about John, Kate" he said looking her in the eye  
"What about him" she asked tensing up.  
"You have to let him go Kate," he said gently  
"I have no idea what you are talking about" she said averting her eyes

"I think you do. He's happy with Evangeline and he loves his family. There is no future for you two. Its best if you move on." He said

"Best for who Mike?" she said heatedly

Mike blinked at the change in her attitude. "For the both of you of course" he said

"I don't agree, John loves me today as much as he loved me when he thought I died" she said confidently

"Kate, have you taken a look at the man? He's head over heels in love with his wife and their family. He's worried that you are becoming obsessed and I have to agree with him," he said frowning

Caitlyn stood up and glared at Michael

"For ten long years I suffered and wondered where he was and how he was doing. For ten years I tried to move past my love and need for him. For ten years I sacrificed my happiness so that he could be alive. Now it's our turn. That woman doesn't deserve him and he will soon realize that." She said storming off.

Michael watched her get on the elevator and the doors close. He sat there stunned at first not knowing what to do. He picked up the phone and called John.

"Hey bro, you were right to be worried…..you've got a big problem" he said running his hands through his hair.

Back to Index

Chapter 22: PAST and PRESENT 

Tommy was so excited.   
Today daddy was picking him up and that meant he would do something fun with him. Maybe daddy will take him for pizza. Or maybe daddy will want to go to the park. He heard Ms.Bondurant telling everyone to line up to go outside. He grabbed his backpack and ran with the other kids to the door. Before stepping through it he looked back and saw the picture he made still in the finger paint station. He'd made a new picture with daddy catching the bad guy he had to get it.

"Thomas McBain…line up please" Ms Bondurant said as the other kids filed out of the classroom.

"Ms. Bondurant can I go back and get my picture?" he asked  
Ms. Bondurant looked over her shoulder. The kids were already in the hall and mixing with the other classes.

"Ms Green could you watch my class while I retrieve the kids pictures I forgot to pass them out after they dried" Ms Bondurant asked frustrated.

Ms. Green smiled "Sure Angie go ahead…I will have them line up with my class."

Tommy walked to the end of the line to wait for them to go outside

"Tommy" he head someone whisper behind him  
Tommy turned around and saw Ms Schaffer further down the hall around the corner  
"Ms. Schaffer" he said smiling

Caitlyn waved for him to come to her.  
Tommy immediately ran with his book bag flapping on his back.  
As soon as he got to Caitlyn she grabbed his hand and walked quickly out the back door.

Ms Bondurant appeared 5 minutes later. The kids had already marched out the front of the school to wait for the carpool to start to pick them up. She started passing out the finger paints to each child. When she got to Tommy's picture she frowned. He wasn't inline. She walked over to Ms. Green who was helping a student get in a car.

"Ms. Green was Tommy picked up?" she asked

Ms. Green frowned "Sorry Angie which one is Tommy?" she asked closing the parents' car door.

Ms. Bondurant turned around and saw Lieutenant McBain's car in the carpool line with her heart beating fast she walked to the car.

John let down the window and smiled

"Mr. McBain did you send someone earlier to pick up Tommy?" Ms Bondurant asked nervously

"What?" John said frowning. He put the car in park and got out. "Where's Tommy" he asked concern.

Ms. Bondurant turned around and looked at the kids all lined up for their parents and started to panic. "He was just here" she said weakly

John pushed past her and ran into the school. He went from classroom to classroom "Tommy? Tommy? Where are you sport" he asked with each second making his heart pound louder.

Mrs. Bondurant had gotten Mr. Hagen who cam running down the hall concerned.  
John turned and looked at them "Where is my son" he yelled grabbing Hagen by the collar and throwing him up against the wall.

"Mr. McBain please calm down, I'm sure he's here" Hagen wheezed out from the hold that John had on him.

John dropped him and flipped open his phone. He called several units to the school immediately. He pushed pass Mr. Hagen and went to the traffic guard directing the carpool traffic out of the school.

"Not another car! Don't let another car leave these premises we have a missing child" he said now in full panic. His vision was starting to blur because of his tears. The traffic guard nodded and stopped the car with his whistle.

John ran back in the school.

Tommy sat in the back of Ms. Schaffer's car looking out the window. She was taking him to his daddy. It was a secret and they were spy's.

"Daddy is going to be so surprised" he said grinning  
"Yes baby Daddy is going to be really surprised" Caitlyn said smiling turning onto the expressway.

Evangeline walked out of court talking to Nora. Nora finally agreed to a plea bargain and the Whittaker kid would be sent to a minimum security prison. Her phone beeped and she looked and saw it was John

"Excuse me Nora" she said opening "Hey baby wsup"  
"Vangie its Tommy" John choked out

Evangeline heart stopped "What is it John?" she said shaking  
Nora looked at Evangeline and frowned "Evangeline what is it?" she asked

"He's missing baby and were trying to find him" John said his panic had his rage boiling in him. It had already been an hour since they started looking for his son and he was nowhere on the premises.

Evangeline dropped her briefcase and the contents spilled all over the courthouse floor "John, please what do you mean missing" she said weakly feeling her strength drain from her.

Nora bent over to pick up Evangeline's briefcase when she heard the word "missing" and stopped frozen.

"Baby can you get someone to bring you to the school" he said not knowing what to say to his wife.

Evangeline hung up. She stood there for a moment in shock and then she screamed!

Nora jumped up and grabbed her friend. Everyone in the courthouse turned around looking shocked and a few guards ran toward them. Evangeline collapsed with Nora's arms around her and Nora had to get the help of the guards to keep her from completely falling out on the floor. "My baby!" Evangeline screamed "Where's my baby!"

John talked to Ms. Green and Ms Bondurant over and over again. Tommy was in line then the kids walked out of the door and he was gone. It made no fucking sense.

He spun around and looked at the classroom his son came out of. He looked further up the hall and could see that there was another door that led out of the school. John took off in that direction with the officers behind him. He opened the door and saw the Tommy's police badge that he kept clipped to his book bag on the ground. He picked it up. His heart broke. He burst into tears as he fingered the badge. Then he heard Evangeline shouting inside of the school.

Evangeline jumped out of the car before Nora could completely stop it. She ran pass the police officers into the school. She saw Mr. Hagen "Where is my baby!" she screamed.  
She saw the sad look on Ms. Bondurant's face and charged her "Where is my baby!" she yelled at the woman.

Nora caught up with Evangeline and grabbed her shoulders. She looked at the officers "Where is Lieutenant McBain?" she asked before she saw him approaching from the back door.

Evangeline ran to him and stopped when she saw Tommy's badge in her husband's hand. John saw the horror on her face and ran to her and pulled her to his chest. She screamed her cries into his chest and he did everything within his power to try to calm her. She let go and looked up at him "

Where is he John? What happened? Is he okay? Oh my god he needs me" she cried

"We'll find him sweetie, I just have to get a handle on what happened here" he sad stroking her hair.

The officer walked up and advised that an AMBER ALERT has been sent out. John looked at Hagen "Do you have any cameras on this campus?" he asked

The Headmaster nodded excitedly "I completely forgot each exit has a camera." He said  
"I need to see the camera for the back door." He snapped.

"Right this way" Hagen said leading them all to security

John held onto Evangeline who kept repeating something he couldn't hear. He felt her body shaking with her sobs. Nora and the teachers followed.

All stood around the TV screen as the on campus security guard RW to the time Tommy went missing.

Evangeline gasped and John shook his head in disbelief as they saw Caitlyn pulling Tommy out of the backdoor toward her car.

John looked at Evangeline and saw the rage on her face.

"I need that tape." He said and then walked to his wife "I will find them" he said  
She pushed his hands away "I told you!" she shouted "I told you that woman was a threat! Why the hell didn't you listen to me!" she screamed.

Nora looked at the screen in disbelief. "What the hell?" she said  
Hagen looked away because now he was in it deep.  
Ms. Bondurant dropped her head hoping that her slip the other day with Brenda was never uncovered.

"Baby" John said now choking on his on guilt and regret.  
"Find our son!" she yelled at him and walked out of the security door.  
Nora ran behind her.

John turned back and looked at the screen with the frozen shot of Caitlyn and Tommy leaving the school and fought off his on urge to scream

POST SCRIPT ---- ATTENTION ---  
I am leaving town for a family event I won't be posting the next chapter until Monday night August 8th! Have a great weekend guys!

Back to Index

Chapter 23: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline walked into Capricorn and went straight to RJs office. She didn't knock and entered the office to see RJ on the phone. He gestured for her to sit and wrapped up his call.

"Well, I don't know what Vikki Buchanan is doing at the moment but I know what she did this past week" he said smiling

Evangeline looked at him in anticipation "What?" she asked  
"Apparently she purchased a car and reserved a cabin within the past 6 days." he said  
Evangeline eyes got big "Why on earth would she conspire with Caitlyn to take my child from me?" she asked in horror.  
"Think about it Van, the woman has DID and a terrible history with you and the detective" he said seriously

Evangeline stood up. "At this point I could careless where is this cabin?" she asked. 

"It's about a 3 hour drive from here" RJ said "Aren't you going to call your husband?"  
Evangeline shook her head. "He doesn't believe me and Tommy doesn't have time for me to convince him. I'll have to go" she said bravely

"Well you aren't going alone" RJ said standing with her and getting his jacket. They both walked out of Capricorn.

Nikki Smith walked into the cabin livid. This is insipid of a woman was useless. She looked at Caitlyn sitting at the table wringing her hands.

"Where is he?" Nikki hissed  
"I locked him in the room. He's been crying all day and refusing to eat. Nothing I say or do calms him" she said looking toward the upstairs room.

"What happened?" Nikki asked taking a seat at the table  
"I think I pushed to fast. It all fell apart when I told him that his mom is dead" she said softly

Nikki raised her eyebrows amused "So let me get this straight you tell a frightened 5 year old boy that his mom is dead and you expect him to sit down and have ice cream with you? What the hell is the matter with you?"

Caitlyn flinched. What the hell was she doing? She was terrorizing a child with the assistance of this woman she barely knew. John must be sick with worry. How did she let this get so far out of hand? "I think we should call this off" she said weakly

"What!" Nikki snapped  
"Ms. Smith I can't take him anywhere in public like this. My face and his is plastered everywhere. His screaming and crying would draw to much attention. And I can't very well keep him in this cabin forever. I don't want to hurt John like this" she said

Nikki looked upstairs toward the room the boy was in. "We could drug him" she said nastily.

Caitlyn gasped. "Are you crazy?" she asked in horror.  
Nikki glared at her "I've been called that at times" she said laughing  
Caitlyn felt a shiver go down her spine "You won't touch that boy!" she snapped at her.   
Nikki stared at her "And exactly what will you do to stop me?" she hissed

Caitlyn felt trapped. She looked at this woman and realized there was something else at work here "Why did you offer to help me. What is it that you want really?" she asked

Nikki kept glaring at her "The same thing you want revenge against Evangeline" she said smiling.

You're wrong. "I don't want revenge against her. I want a family. I want John. I want to raise that precious boy as mine" she said

Nikki laughed "Are you kidding me? What do they do to you folks in the witness protection program? Hunh? Do they drain every cognitive reasonable brain cell you have? There is no way in hell McBain would want you. If he finds you he will take his son and not look back."

Caitlyn listened to the taunts of Nikki Smith and knew she was right. John would never forgive her for taking his son. She'd made a horrible mistake agreeing to this. She had to find a way to fix it.

"Nikki, why don't I just lay low for the next couple of weeks until Tommy adjusts to being with me? Then you can get us out of here" she said trying to sound normal.

Nikki laughed again "You are cracking me up! I tried to give you a leash on this but I see kept the slack to loose. You and Tommy are leaving with me today. I have plans for the both of you." Nikki turned to her driver at the door. "Go get the boy" she said

Caitlyn jumped up from her seat to stop the driver "No!" she yelled.  
The driver delivered a fierce blow to the side of her face forcing her to the ground.  
She hung onto her consciousness and looked up through blurred eyes as he climbed the stairs.

Nikki stood up over here smiling "You are such a weakling. Just like Vikki. I loathe it. I should dispose of you now, let John find you in your own waste." She said angrily

Caitlyn backed away still trying to regain her senses from the attack earlier. She heard Tommy screaming and looked up to see the driver carrying him crying out of the room.

"Please Nikki, I can calm him. Please let me talk to him" she said pleadingly

Nikki looked up at the crying child and shrugged. It was a long drive to where they were going. "Shut him up or I will make Albert do it!" she snapped returning to her chair.

John looked down from the helicopter at the 40 or so cabins that were outlined from his view. This was impossible. The density of the forested area made it impossible to view most of them. He signaled for the pilot to land at the office. They would start there. 

Evangeline looked out the window as RJ drove. She had one of John's guns in her purse and she knew if Caitlyn or Vikki harmed her baby she would use it. RJ kept glancing at her taking his eyes off the road.

"Van why aren't you calling John about this?" he asked softly  
"RJ it's really not your business" she said coldly  
RJ blushed "I'm not trying to pry, but he could get to this cabin quicker, he could deal with her safely" he said  
Evangeline said nothing just bit down on her lip.

RJ nodded because he began to understand "Unless you want to be the one to find her. You want to be the one to deal with her" he said 

Evangeline looked at him. "He's my baby! I have no emotional connection to this bitch. I can be objective" she snapped

RJ laughed at that, he couldn't help himself "There is no way in hell you can be objective. Neither you nor John can. But the important thing is your son and if you two don't get on the same page he may be the one to suffer in all this." RJ said gently

Evangeline blinked back her tears. RJs words stung and she knew he was right. She was so grateful to him for being a friend. She reached in her purse and pulled out her cell phone.

"Hey" John said answering quick when he saw it was Evangeline  
"John I think I know where Tommy is" she said  
"What?" he asked not able to hear her in the helicopter  
"Can you hear me?" she shouted.  
"I can't hear you Vangie I will call you back when we land" he shouted

Evangeline heard the phone go dead. "He's in that helicopter now and can't hear me" she said to RJ

RJ nodded and kept driving. "Well we got two more hours" he said  
She looked at him "Make it 1 more hour" she said dryly and kept looking out the window.

Tommy clung to Caitlyn. His head hurt from crying too much and he missed his mommy and daddy. The people now in the house with him were scarier than Ms. Schaffer.   
Caitlyn rubbed his back and sang softly to him. She told him what a brave little boy he was and that she was proud of him.

"Enough!" yelled Nikki  
Caitlyn and Tommy looked up at her shocked.

"Its time to go. We have a schedule to keep." Nikki said walking to the door.  
Caitlyn smiled at Tommy"Come on baby" she said taking his hand and leading him out

They climbed into Nikki's limo and pulled away.  
John walked into the Management office demanding to see the supervisor. He pulled out his phone and considered calling Evangeline back but the manger appeared at the counter.

"Sir, how can I help you?" he asked

John pulled out his badge "We have a missing child that we believe may be in one of your cabins" he said

The manager looked at him shocked "Oh my god, what can I do?" he asked  
John pulled out a picture of Caitlyn and Tommy "Have you seen them?" he asked desperately

The manager studied the pictures "No, I'm sorry but I haven't" he said  
"Okay I need to see all rentals for this week" he said.

The manager nodded and went in the back to get his records. John called the station and spoke to Bo. The authorities in the area have been notified and were sending units to his location. "God please let me find them soon" he muttered.

Evangeline and RJ drove around the winding roads in silence. Evangeline thought about Tommy and how she fussed at him the morning of his abduction for not brushing his teeth. She wondered if he was upset with her that day. If he went to school thinking his mommy didn't love him. 

She thought about Caitlyn and her asking Tommy questions about her family and who picked him up. How could she or John not see this coming? How could she let her son return to that school after knowing this? She'd been kidnapped and held against her will. She knew the type of terror that evoked. Her innocent child was now suffering the same fate. What this could do to his spirit was too much. She couldn't stomach it.

"Van are you okay" RJ asked snapping her out of her trance  
"No" she said softly trying to maintain control.  
"This is not your fault" he said gently  
"I'm his mother, it's my job to protect him and I failed. It's completely my fault" she said

RJ looked at her. She seemed so vulnerable to him now. He reached over and took her hand and squeezed it. "I will help you. And we will find him" he said  
She looked at him and smiled "Thanks" she said pulling her hand from his. She kept looking out of the window.

John looked through the log. He skimmed quickly at the list and was shocked at the name he saw "Vikki Buchanan". He looked up at the officer with him and then back at the manager "Did you make this reservation for her?" he asked turning the book back to face the manager.

The manager looked at the name "Of course, Ms Buchanan has been here several times and always secures the same cabin. This reservation was made over a week ago" The manager said. 

"Where's the cabin" John snapped  
The manager looked at him confused "She didn't have the kid with her; she isn't that type of..."  
John grabbed the man by the collar cutting him off in mid sentence "Where the hell is he cabin!"

The man immediately gave John the location and spare key to the cabin. He raced out of the office to several awaiting squad cars awaiting him. He got in the first one next to him and told the officer to go and fast.

Back to Index

Chapter 24: PAST and PRESENT 

Tommy opened his eyes and looked around.

He sat up in the bed confused. This wasn't his room. The walls were dark and scary. Everything looked like wood. It reminded him of the tree house daddy and uncle Mike were building for him.

He pushed the covers back and saw he was in his school clothes. Mommy didn't like him to sleep in his school clothes he was supposed to change them first thing when he got home.

"Mommy" he called out softly.

He thought about getting up from bed and going to the door but he was scared. Where was he? He remembered Ms. Schaffer said they were on a secret mission and Daddy would be coming.

"Daddy" he called out again louder. He heard nothing

Tommy threw his legs over the bed and slid down. The floor was cold. He walked over to the door and as soon as he reached it the door swung open.

"Morning, sweetie are you hungry?" Ms Schaffer said with a tray in hand. 

Tommy backed away from her surprised "Where's my mommy and my daddy?" he asked with his eyes tearing up.

"I hope you like Frosted Flakes. I also cut some bananas and put them in it for you" she said ignoring him and walking further into the room.

Tommy stood there and wiped his tears. "I wanna go home," he said loudly

Caitlyn turned around and saw him standing there on the verge of tears. Her heart ached for him "Come here baby" she said kneeling down and opening her arms to him.

"NO!" he said backing away. "You said Daddy was coming, where is he?" he asked tears coming down his face

"He was here sweetie but you were sleep so he had to go back to work" she said smiling at him.

Tommy looked at her confused. Why would daddy leave him? Was he bad? Did he do something wrong? "Can we call my mommy she can come get me?" He asked

Caitlyn stiffened "Tommy your mommy's dead" she said flatly

John walked into the house. Mike was sitting on the couch and two officers were in the kitchen.

Mike looked up at him and frowned "Bro you look awful" he said.

John had spent all night at the station. The witness spotted them at the Burger King 3 hours outside of Llanview. The road they were on lead to the mountains and there were so many cabins and alternate roads in that part of the state it was impossible to get a solid lead on where they were.

"I'm exhausted. Where's everybody?" he asked rubbing his eyes.  
"Lisa is up stairs in a guest room and Evangeline is sleep as well. Marcie just left and will be back soon." He said

John looked at the stairs. "I guess I will go up and see Vangie" he said

Mike looked at his brother sadly "We'll find him" he said gently  
"I know Mike, but try telling that to his mother" he said climbing the stairs.

John opened the door slowly and saw Evangeline asleep on top of the covers fully dressed. He kicked off his shoes and climbed into bed with her. As soon as he laid down she turned over and looked at him surprised "Any word" she asked quickly

John moved her hair out of her face "No baby" he said softly  
Evangeline burst into tears and he pulled her on his chest. 

"John" she said weakly through her tears "He's only five, he's never been separated from us like this with a stranger. He has to be terrified"

John rubbed her back and stared at the ceiling. Evangeline was right besides her mother and their close circle of friends and family Tommy has never been separated like this. His chest tightened to think that his son was somewhere now scared and feeling abandoned.

"Vangie, Tommy is a strong kid, he's probably scared but I know we'll find him soon" he said gently trying to convince himself as well.

"He's a baby John," she said through her tears. "My baby, and he needs me"

Tommy burst into tears when Ms. Schaffer said his mommy was dead "You are lying!" he yelled.

He knew his mommy told him never to say the word "Lie" but that's what Ms. Schaffer was doing. He knew something was wrong when they kept driving and his daddy never came. She did something to his mommy and daddy. Tommy took off out the door running out of the room toward the stairs.

His outburst and him fleeing the room shocked Caitlyn. She ran after him but he was already at the bottom of the stairs heading for the door "Tommy!" she yelled trying to keep up. He looked back at her and opened the door running outside. 

Caitlyn freaked. She sprinted outside and marveled at how fast Tommy ran he was heading toward the woods with no shoes on and Caitlyn feared he could hurt himself. She ran after him and lost sight of him once he went into the trees.

Tommy's feet hurt. "Ouch" he said through his tears. "I forgot my shoes" he thought.

He could see Ms. Schaffer getting closer and he thought about how he and his dad played hide and go seek. He got behind the biggest tree and stooped down. He hoped that she didn't find him. He knew what to do. His mommy and daddy told him what to do when a stranger was after him. He was a big boy. He would go home on his own.

John lay in bed listening to Evangeline's constant sobs. He was just as worried about her as Tommy. She hadn't really stopped crying since she arrived at the school. This was killing her.

"Vangie, I have to go. I'm taking a helicopter into the mountains to look for the car that was described to us by the witness" he said softly

Evangeline lifted herself off his chest and sat up in bed. "Can I come with you?" she asked

"No, I need you to stay here in case Caitlyn calls" he said rubbing his face

Evangeline saw how exhausted he was. "John are you okay? Maybe you should eat something before leaving" she said rubbing the back on his head.

"I'll be okay when he's home" he said wearily  
"Have you heard anything on Vikki?" she asked  
"Bo said that she wasn't at Llanfair and they can't locate her." he said yawning

Evangeline looked at him shocked "What!" she said. "Maybe she's with them!"

John looked at her confused "Why would Vikki Buchanan kidnap our son. Bo says she probably went on one of her retreats and is tracking down Jessica to locate her. RJ was wrong" he said annoyed at the whole Vikki speculation given to them by RJ.

Evangeline looked at him concerned "John, every lead has to be followed. Please don't let your dislike for RJ jeopardize our son," she said

John shook his head "Vangie, trust me Vikki has nothing to do with this!" he snapped. John was not going to pursue this any further. RJ just wanted some way to interject into their lives and he was pissed he was using his son to do it! There was no way he would waste valuable time on this.

Evangeline stared at him. She knew he wasn't going to follow up on this Vikki connection but she couldn't shake the ominous tone of her visit from Vikki. She would have to investigate it further if she had too.

Caitlyn listened carefully for Tommy. There were so many trees that she was sure he was hiding behind one. "Tommy" she said softly

She walked into the forested area becoming more alarmed. The temperature was cool this morning in the mountains and she didn't want him sick. Especially with them leaving the country.

"Tommy, listen to me. I want to take you to your daddy. He can explain everything about your mommy. He asked me to look after you," she said sweetly.

Tommy was scared. He was cold and his feet itch standing on the damp ground. What if she was right and daddy would be mad at him for running away? He was confused. His mommy couldn't be dead. His daddy would have told him. Why was Ms. Schaffer saying such mean things to him? He thought she was his friend. He could hear her closer now and he wanted to run. Where is my daddy?

Evangeline saw John head to the bathroom to take a shower. She had to do something to find her baby. But what? She grabbed her cell and called RJ.

"This is RJ," he said answering on the first ring  
"Hey" she said in a whisper  
"Van?" he said confused  
"Can you meet me at Capricorn?" she asked  
"Yeah, any word on Tommy" he asked  
"No, I may need your help after all. Vikki is missing and we have to find her," she said  
"No problem I will get on it now. How about we meet in a hour" he asked  
"Fine" she said hanging up

She looked at the door and heard the shower. She knew that John was doing everything to find Tommy but she would not ignore her instincts again. Something told her that Vikki knew something about Tommy and she was going to make her tell them.

John walked out of the shower back into the bedroom. He saw Evangeline sitting on the bed holding her cell.

"Who called?" he asked  
"Hunh?" Evangeline said looking up confused. She was deep in thought about Vikki.  
John pointed at the phone in her hand  
"Oh, just layla calling from NY to check in" she said 

John went to the closet to get dressed. Evangeline watched him in silence. When he left she would get ready and go meet RJ.

Caitlyn saw a piece of Tommy's shorts sticking out from around the tree. She knew he was bent over hiding and smiled. He was such a tough little boy. Just like his daddy. She made a quick turn and snatched him up by the waist. The suddenness of it surprised him and it was easy to get a good hold of him. But soon he was screaming and kicking. She had to fight to keep hold of him as she dragged him out of the woods. He kept crying and yelling swinging his arms.

"Tommy! Stop it! Stop it or I will spank you!" she shouted.

The treat of a spanking stopped part of the tantrum by the screams and cries got louder. She hurried into the cabin afraid that the neighbors across the path could hear him. She didn't like how close these cabins were. Nikki had assured her that most were empty. But the news this morning had her and Tommys face all over it. She had to be careful.

She threw Tommy on the couch and went back and locked the cabin door. Tommy put both his hands to his face and cried. "I want my mommy," he kept repeating.

Caitlyn went and knelt down next to him and rubbed his back

"Sweetie, I'm your new mommy and I promise I won't leave you like she did. Please calm down"

Tommy kept crying. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to be away from here.

Caitlyn saw that nothing she said appeased him. She looked around the cabin. She needed to get in contact with Nikki, The sooner they were out of the country the better.

Back to Index

Chapter 25: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline braced herself as they pulled into the cabin. The car was in front of the house and she knew they were still inside. She got out of the car before RJ could stop her. She pulled out her gun and ran to the door. 

"Evangeline!" RJ said in a loud whisper. She turned and looked at him and pushed the door. The door slid open because it was already ajar. She entered the house.

Before RJ could go after her several squad cars swung into the yard. John jumped out the car and looked at RJ confused. Then he rushed him throwing him on the car. "What the hell are you doing here?" he growled at him. RJ struggled underneath him but said nothing.

Evangeline appeared from out of the cabin and saw John roughing up RJ "Stop it John!" she shouted.

John turned around shocked to see her standing there holding a gun. He let go of RJ and looked at her confused "Vangie" is all he could say.

Evangeline walked down the steps with the gun at her side in her other hand was Tommy's book bag. "There gone" she said through her tears.

John just looked at her. What was she doing here? He saw she had his gun in her hand and became angry "What the hell are you doing!" he said angrily

Evangeline glared at him "Following a lead that you wouldn't! Doing everything in my power to save my son!" she screamed at him.

John put his hand to his forehead and turned away from her. He was son angry with her he couldn't control himself. Evangeline saw his reaction and felt hurt and angry as well. She rushed to him. "I told you Vikki had something to do with this. You wouldn't listen to me!" she said

He turned around and grabbed her by both arms shaking her roughly. "What if they were here! What would you have done then!" he screamed at her. "Would you have shot her in front of our son!" he continued to yell

Evangeline struggled under his grip he was hurting her "Let me go!" she yelled

RJ ran over and pulled John away. He turned around and punched RJ knocking him to the ground.

"Stop it!" Evangeline screamed.  
He turned and looked at her "Go home!" he snapped heading toward the cabin.  
Evangeline caught up with him "No!" she said stepping in front of him. "Why are you behaving like this! Is it because I could have shot your precious Caitlyn? You don't care about finding him all you care about is her!" she said angrily.

John glared at her. He pushed passed her and went into the cabin. Evangeline sat on the edge of the porch and burst into tears. RJ went to her "Come on Van we can't do anything more here" he said.

She looked up at him upset "No, I won't go anywhere yet. Not until I know what they know about Tommy" she said hugging his book bag.

John walked in the house and looked around. The officers came in behind him and he told them to check the rooms. He saw Caitlyn's purse and car keys. He opened the closet and saw her suitcases still there. 

Walking over to the kitchen the bread and sandwich meat was on the counter. This wasn't right. He thought about how the car was abandoned and how Vikki had to arrange this in advance. She must be on to them and moved Caitlyn and Tommy. But why was everything left, especially her purse and clothes.

He went to the top of the stairs and saw one of Tommy's shoes in the corner. He picked it up. Tommy had to be removed by force. They were both in danger now. John opened his phone and called Bo. They had a big problem. 

Evangeline waited for what seemed like forever until John walked out of the cabin. He looked at her and RJ and kept heading toward the squad car.

Evangeline jumped up "John, what is it? What did you find?" she asked.  
He ignored her and kept walking. Evangeline stepped in front of him forcing him to face her "Don't you shut me out about our son! Don't do it!" she said angrily.

He looked at her. "They've been taken. Where? I don't know. From what I can tell it was by force which means time is running out. If they're still alive it won't be for long if I don't find them soon" he said coldly

"Now how are you and RJ going to save the day" he finished glaring at her.

She looked at him and saw the rage on his face. In all the time she'd known him in all the arguments they have had, she has never seen his anger directed at her like this. It hurt so bad she looked away quickly to keep from crying. He stood there staring at her waiting for her to come back with some smart remark but she couldn't. She couldn't stop hearing him say that her baby's life could end at any moment.

She looked at him. "I told you that RJ had a lead on where our son was last night. You ignored me. I asked you follow up on it this morning and what did you do? That's right you dismissed me. I called you when I found out about this lead and you told me you would call me back. Did you? NO! Now you stand here glaring at me like I've betrayed you. Well you betrayed me! You let your personal feelings for this damn woman get in the way and at the same time risked our sons life!"

"Shut up!" he screamed at her. Shocking Evangeline into silence.

"I have done everything in my power to find our son since the moment he was taken. I got here too remember only minutes after you….so I can't be that incompetent. I am tired of you punishing me over this. I lost him too! I want him back too! I feel guilty over his abduction too! I know I failed my son. I have to live with that!" he yelled at her.

"I don't have time for this, I have to find him" he said storming off.

The rest of the officers got into their squad cars and pulled out with him. Evangeline stood there holding Tommy's book bag. She was in shock and devastated at what just happened between them.

John got on the phone and told the pilot he would be there in a few minutes. Bo gave them a description of the Limo and road blocks were being set up. They couldn't have gotten far. He would take the helicopter and canvas the main road.

He thought about the argument with Evangeline. What had just happened between them? He'd never touched her that way. He'd never spoken to her like that. Why did he treat her like that?

His panic and pain over Tommy was tearing at the fiber of what they had. They were both running scared and father away from each other. He looked out the window. For her to turn to RJ of all people was painful. What was she doing with his gun looking for Caitlyn? His heart pounded faster in his chest at the thought of loosing what they had. He had to find Tommy and prove to his Vangie that he wanted their family most of all.

RJ walked over to Evangeline and put his arms around her shoulders. She turned around and hugged him. She cried into his chest. She had never fought like that with John. It broke her heart to have him treat her that way. She was just trying to find their son. RJ rubbed her head. She pulled away and looked at him.

"John said he could die" she said through her sobs  
RJ shook his head. "No Van he won't let that happen" he said

"You don't know that. Why would Vikki do this? What is she hoping to gain?" she asked the panic now making her paranoid.

RJ steadied her "Van, listen you have to hold it together. Tommy needs you thinking right now. Let me take you back to Llanview." He said gently

She shook her head. "No, RJ we have to find them." She said  
RJ looked around. "How about we search the house for a clue" he said  
Evangeline frowned "The police already did that" she said  
RJ shrugged "Maybe they missed something." He said  
Evangeline looked back at the cabin. Maybe RJ was right. At this point she had nothing to loose.

The limo slowed down to a traffic jam. Nikki Smith pressed the button to lower the divider. "What is it?" she asked

"Ms. Smith I think its some kid of road block further up." he said worried.  
"Shit!" Nikki said  
She looked at Tommy and Caitlyn watching her in fear. "Can we turn around?" she asked  
"Not without drawing attention to ourselves" he said  
Nikki looked out her window and saw a dirt road on their left. It looked as if it lead to nowhere but they needed cover "Take that road to your left, be careful not to draw any attention to yourself" she said  
The driver slowly pulled over to the road and didn't feel that they were noticed.

Caitlyn hugged Tommy to her chest rubbing his back to keep him calm. The road they were on was very rocky and they bounced all around the back of the limo. Nikki told the driver to stop when the woods got to dense to continue. She glared at Caitlyn.

"This isn't good for you at all. I'm not very nice when I am cornered." she said evilly.  
Caitlyn squeezed Tommy to reassure him. She would protect him with her life and need be.

Back to Index

Chapter 26: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline and RJ walked out of the cabin dejected. There was nothing there. What could she do now? She felt her cell phone vibrate on her hip. She pulled it off looking at the number confused and opened it.

"Hello" she said  
"Mommy" Tommy said weakly

Evangeline's heart stopped "Baby?" she said shocked

"Mommy I want to come home" he said bursting into tears.

"Baby, where are you! Mommy will come to you tell me where you are!" she said trying to remain calm to calm him. RJ stared at her

"Hello" Vikki said coldly  
"Vikki?" Evangeline said frowning.  
"That's right, I see you and your husband discovered our little hideaway," she said chuckling  
"Is my son okay?" Evangeline asked resisting the urge to scream at her.  
"For now" Vikki said coldly  
"What do you want? Tell me! Anything and I will give it you!" she said desperately

"Lets see." Vikki said smiling "I don't need money, I don't need a lawyer. Wait I have an idea. Can you give me back my daughter?" she asked  
Evangeline got quiet. She was at the point of really loosing it. "Please he's a baby he has nothing to do with Natalie's death. I can take his place," she said desperately

Vikki said nothing "How about Caitlyn, Evangeline do you want to save her too?" she asked smiling and winking at Caitlyn.

Evangeline frowned "What is wrong with you Vikki? What do you hope to gain with these games?" she said loosing her patience.

"So I will take that as a No!" Vikki snapped.

Evangeline quickly spoke up "Wait, I don't want either of them harmed. I just want my son back," she said

"You know Evangeline the last time John had to choose between you and the woman he loved in a life and death situation what choice did he make? If John had to choose between Caitlyn and Tommy who do you think he would choose?" she asked laughing

Evangeline sat back on the porch. Why was she taunting her like this?

"Vikki, I know this isn't you," she said trying to gain control over the situation. "I know that you are in there somewhere. Fight against this person that has control over you now. Fight Vikki" she said 

Nikki Smith laughed "Are you trying to play shrink with me? Do you think that the murderer of Vikki's daughter can convince her to come out and save your sons life?" she said nastily

"What are you talking about I didn't kill Natalie." she said confused

"Yes you did!" she screamed.

"Your constant interference kept Natalie from the man she loved. Your damn wedding is where Vikki saw her daughter die in front of her. You almost destroyed us all with your selfish need to be first!" she yelled

Evangeline could hear Tommy crying in the background and began to shake. She didn't care that Vikki was sick she would kill this crazy bitch if she did anything to her child.

She stood up and motioned for RJ to go to the car. She needed to keep Vikki on the phone talking until they found her. They would ride up and down the road until they found them.

"Vikki" she started

"Stop calling me that!" Nikki screamed.

Then Evangeline heard her try to muffle the phone "Shut that brat up or I will do it!" she hissed  
Evangeline closed her eyes and tried to steady herself. She could do this. But she wished she could alert John.

"Okay what should I call you?" Evangeline asked  
"Nikki" she said calmly  
"Nikki, where are you? For you to know where we are you must be close. We need to resolve this one way or another. Just me and you" she said.

Nikki Smith got quiet. "Everything is going wrong. I have no use for you to be here and try to save the day. But your husband on the other hand, I rather tangle with him. Show you just how much you don't mean to him. Reunite him with his one true love and dispose of the brat that's keeping them apart" she said evilly

"You bitch! You better not touch my baby! Don't you lay one hand on my child" she screamed in the phone.

Nikki Smith closed the phone. She looked at Caitlyn "What do you think? We get rid of the kid and have John rescue you. We both get what we want." she said

Tommy cried louder and clung to Caitlyn "Nikki, please stop. You're scaring him." Caitlyn said calmly trying to think of a way out of this.

Nikki looked at Tommy and scowled. "He's the one thing that can show Evangeline what pain and loss is. He's the one thing that can make this all even" she said under her breath.

Caitlyn saw the cold stare and knew that Tommy's time was short if she didn't do something.

'I have an idea" she said quickly

Nikki looked up at her amused "Do you?" she asked

"What you said earlier. Let John McBain choose, bring him to us. Force him to choose between Tommy and me. He could never let me die a second time in front of him. That would destroy Evangeline," she said

Nikki stared at her. "You have a point. John is such a hero he would try to save you both but will let his police work do the talking through him. He'll save the one in most need first." Nikki clapped her hands. "I guess you're not as stupid as I thought" she said smiling at Caitlyn.

"I guess not," Caitlyn said breaking their stare and rubbing Tommy who now just whimpered in her arms.

John stepped out of the helicopter and ran to the roadblock. The cars went back for miles on this country road and he didn't understand the traffic so quick. 

"What is all this traffic from?" he asked  
"There was big Boy Scout Retreat up here this weekend. Today was the last day and all the campers are coming out of the mountains," the police officer said while handing the driver in the car his license and registration back.

John felt his phone buzz and looked at it. It was Evangeline. He hesitated and then decided to answer it. 

"Yes" he said dryly into the phone  
"I spoke to Vikki," she said quickly  
"What!" John said stepping away from the officer

"She called me John. She put Tommy on the phone. She's taunting and torturing him. She said she was going to kill him!" Evangeline choked out through her tears.

"She said you would have to choose between him and Caitlyn. She said that…"  
"Calm down" John said trying to get her to slow down. She was talking so fast and her sobs broke up most of what she was trying to say.

"I can't…I can't….that woman is out of her mind. She doesn't even think she is Vikki. She called herself Nikki. I can't…..I can't…find them. I don't know where she is!" she screamed in the phone.

"Give the phone to RJ" he said through his teeth.  
"Yes" RJ said coming onto the phone.  
"How long ago did Vikki call?" he asked  
"Maybe 5 minutes ago." He said  
"Did she give any indication where they were?" he asked  
"No…from what Van said she just taunted her with threats of killing Tommy and Caitlyn. I get the impression that she will be contacting you soon." He said.

John ran his hands through his hair. "Don't take Evangeline anywhere near this. I will handle it. Do you hear me?" John snapped

RJ got quiet. "I don't take orders from you!" he snapped back

John tried to calm himself before he spoke again "Look at her. She is hysterical. If she stumbles on Vikki and Tommy it will get ugly. If you care about her. Then help her," he said

RJ looked over at Evangeline who was staring at him pleadingly. She was close to the edge and she still had her hand on that gun. He didn't see hysteria though. He saw rage. Evangeline was ready to end it all. John didn't know how strong his wife was. He handed her back the phone.

"John" she said  
"Vangie, please listen to me. Don't try to find them. Let me get to them. Tommy's life is in jeopardy," he said

Evangeline shook her head "I can't John, I have to find them. I'm scared to death of what she will do. I don't trust you." She said  
The last part of her statement was like a punch in his chest. It took the wind out of him. He held tightly onto the phone and tried to find his voice.

"I will call you if they call me back" she said hanging up.

He looked at the phone in shock. The officer ran up to him. "Sir, this could take hours. Maybe we should call in more units to help with the search of these cars"

John looked at him and nodded. He headed back to the helicopter. His world was coming undone.

Nikki got out of the limo and looked at where they were. She didn't see anything at first and was getting desperate when she noticed a man made trail. She walked over to it and looked down it. The path led somewhere so this could be the break she was looking for. She walked over to the driver window and tapped it.

"Yes mam," he said rolling down the window.  
"There's a trail back there," she said pointing behind her. "I need you to take it and see if it's a good spot for me to execute my plans," she said  
"Yes man" he said opening the door. On him he carried two guns. He reached into the armrest and gave Vikki a gun. "I won't be long mam," he said stepping away.

Nikki got back in the car with the gun. The brat had cried himself to sleep and Caitlyn sat there rocking him. "I know you think John will rescue you both, but I will make sure it doesn't happen that way" she said coldly

Caitlyn looked at her with hatred "The way you tortured that woman with her child was disgusting" she hissed

Nikki smiled and said nothing

"No mother should be put through that. I was wrong to ever trust you. I was wrong to bring Tommy to you. I will fix all that when John gets here," she said confidently

Nikki kept smiling and nodded at Caitlyn "Yes Caitlyn you fix it" she said amused.

Evangeline and RJ's car slowed down to the traffic jam.  
Evangeline looked at him "Do you think they're stuck in this?" she asked hopeful  
RJ considered it for a moment "If anything she would veer off and try to find a way to go around it." He said.  
Evangeline looked out of the window. She didn't see any side roads. The cars kept along very slowly. She opened the car door and got out of it walking to the car in front of them.

"Excuse me" she said tapping on the window  
A sweet little boy sat on the passenger seat next to his dad and smiled up at Evangeline. Evangeline heart ached when she looked down into his face. The boys father lowered the window and leaned over to peer at Evangeline.

"Yes" he said  
"Excuse me but do you know of any side roads we can take ahead of us?" she asked trying to seem normal.

The man smiled. "There's a route 66 dirt road about a mile up that leads to hiking trail. It really isn't a short cut."

Evangeline looked up at the traffic. She turned back to the car "Where does the hiking trail lead?" she asked

"To a couple of cabins" the man said

Evangeline smiled. "You're a great help. Thanks so much" she said running back to the car.

"I think I know where they went." She said excitedly to RJ.

RJ looked at her. Maybe John was right. They could make this situation worse by just surprising them. "Van, maybe you need to call John back and give him the directions." 

Evangeline rolled her eyes "Lets check it out first. If it's not a lead then we won't waste his time. If we find them I promise I will call" she said defiantly.

RJ nodded and eased the car along with the traffic.

Back to Index

Chapter 27: PAST and PRESENT 

Albert knocked on his boss's window "Ms. Smith. It's a hiking trail, I saw signs that indicate it must stop at some cabins ahead." He said out of breath.

Nikki looked at Caitlyn and the boy sleeping in her arms.

Tommy didn't have on any shoes. "Albert you will have to carry him" she said opening the door.

Caitlyn looked down at Tommy. She didn't want to let go of him. She couldn't think of what to do. "Nikki" she said from inside of the car refusing to make a move to exit.

Nikki looked back in the car "What?" she snapped

"We don't know if those cabins are occupied, or if the police are already there. I think it's dangerous to just walk up there unprepared." She said stalling. 

Nikki smiled at her. "Albert will take care of us. He's very resourceful. Now get out of the car or I will have him drag you out," she said angrily

Caitlyn scooted toward the door holding Tommy. She maneuvered out of the car still clinging to him. She prayed he didn't wake when Albert roughly snatched him from her.

He stirred but remained asleep.

Caitlyn looked up toward the sky. The wooded area was dense but the trees didn't really provide a great cover for the car. It could be spotted. She thought of John. She knew he would be searching frantically for them. 

Since he found the cabin the cops must be near by, she just had to keep Nikki calm. She looked back toward Nikki who was now glaring at her.

"Don't worry Caitlyn I want John to find the car and us. My plan wouldn't work if he didn't" she smiled

Caitlyn looked at Tommy in that monsters arm. He looked so fragile. This whole ordeal has traumatized him greatly. Her heart ached for her part in this.

"Let's go!" Nikki snapped walking toward the path. They all followed her.

After about a mile on the trail it opened up exposing them completely as it wound around the rocky incline. Caitlyn kept searching the sky hoping to see John or a plane searching for them but she saw nothing. 40 minutes into the hike she heard Tommy crying and realized he must be awake. She turned and looked at him kicking in the driver's arms. 

The driver, tired of struggling forcefully threw him over his shoulder.

"Please give him to me, I can carry him some" she said weakly

Albert glared at her and kept walking. Caitlyn stepped back so that the driver could pass and she could see Tommy's face.

He was crying and his eyes were closed. She walked behind them and wiped at the sweat and tears.

"Sweetie it's okay. We are going to daddy now" she said trying to calm him.

Tommy shook his head and kept his eyes closed. Caitlyn knew he didn't trust her either. Especially since he spoke to his mom.

She looked around to see if she could find a stick or a rock. Something to hit the driver with and maybe escape with Tommy. But the path was littered with stones to large for her to successfully lift.

She looked back up and saw Tommy looking at her in shock "What is it Tommy?" she asked sweetly

"I want to go home. I want my mommy and daddy," he said hoarsely not to her really just aloud.

She rubbed his face reaching up to him "I know baby…soon. Can you be a big boy and just hang in there with me? Just for a little while longer?" she asked

Tommy eyes regained focus and he looked at Caitlyn. She almost thought he smiled

"I am a big boy" he said weakly

She nodded "Yes you are. You're just like your daddy. Really tough and smart. You're going to have to be tough for him and your mommy so you can go home. Do you understand?" she asked

Tommy nodded "Yes"

"Good" she said smiling walking fast to keep up with them. She looked back into the sky wondering where John could be.

John took the helicopter up and down Hwy 78 looking at the cars and trying to get a handle on which direction they went. He reached into the compartment and pulled out a map.

He saw the only road that veered off this hwy was Route 66 and it dead ended. Maybe they were hiding. He looked at the pilot and pointed to the map. "Can we take her down near this road? He shouted

The pilot nodded and turned the helicopter around.

Evangeline got out of the car when they came upon Vikki's limo. The door to the limo was open and Evangeline walked to it and looked inside. She felt RJ behind her.

"They were here!" she said excitedly

RJ grabbed her arm "Time to call John" he said gently

She put the gun in the back of her pants and looked for the trail the man spoke of. She saw it to the far left and ran for it. RJ ran after her.

She stopped and looked at the fresh footprints in the dirt path. "I know its them," she said smiling at RJ.

RJ shook his head "Van, wait we have to alert John we need the cops" he said

Evangeline glared at him. "That woman said she would force him to choose," she hissed

RJ looked at her stunned. "Do you think he would sacrifice Tommy?" he asked shocked

Evangeline glared at RJ and then turned and headed for the path. "Van are you serious? Do you really think that John would harm your son?" he asked trying to keep up with her. 

Evangeline quickened her pace "Its not that I think he would, I think he would access the situation like a cop and try to find a way to save them both. I won't have that problem," she said coldly

RJ grabbed her arm forcing her to stop "Listen to me. Tommy is in real danger. If we go up there and it backfires you will never forgive yourself. Call him now! Or I will" he said impatiently.

Evangeline snatched her arm from him. "Then you call him. I am going after my son!" she shouted and took off on the path.

He watched her run deeper into the forest. He couldn't let her do this alone but he had a bad feeling. Finally when it was hard to see her he went after her.

John got out of the helicopter and walked up onto the dirt road. He saw several tire tracks that looked fresh. The pilot walked up to him "We can fly over but that terrain is really steep. If they spot us it could be bad. If we spot them we won't be able to land," he said.

John put his hands on his hips and thought about it. He went back to the helicopter and got the cb radio. He called all units to the Route 66. He would have to go on foot. He turned to the pilot.

"How far until the trail?" he asked  
"About a mile." He said  
He looked at the cars lined up. He walked over to the first car her could and knocked on the door. "Police I need you out of the car." The couple stepped out of the Jeep confused. John turned to the pilot. Take them back to the roadblock. He jumped in the truck and turned onto the dirt road.

Caitlyn looked up to see two cabins ahead of them. Both from the trail looked deserted. She hoped they were. She didn't want anyone harmed in front of Tommy. He was traumatized enough.

Vikki stopped. "Check it out Albert" she barked.  
Albert gave Tommy to Caitlyn and ran ahead.  
Vikki walked back to Caitlyn who had lowered Tommy to the ground in his bare feet and held his hand.

"As soon as we get secured you are going to call John" she hissed

Tommy looked up at Caitlyn and smiled "Please call my daddy" he said

Caitlyn looked at Vikki and saw the madness in her eyes. "Okay" she said weakly.

Evangeline stopped and bent over. She'd only been running for 15 minutes straight but the rugged trail had her breathless. Soon RJ caught her.

"Van" he said wheezing.

She didn't respond. She just worked on steadying her breathing so she could get there.

"Van" he said again

She turned her head and looked back at him bent over too trying to catch his breath "What" she said hoarsely

"We have to come up with a plan. We can't just charge in" he said gasping for air.

Evangeline looked back at the trail. They past a sign 10 minutes into her sprint indicating the cabins were 1 1/2 miles ahead. "Okay" she said starting to walk again. 

"What's the plan?" she asked

RJ frowned and followed "I was hoping you had one" he said still panting.

She smiled "The only plan I have is to get my son and kill anyone trying to stop me" she said

RJ watched her walk up the path and shook his head "John was right I should have taken you back to Llanview" he said

She stopped and looked at him "Is that what he told you? To take me back like I was some child or something?" she asked angrily

RJ nodded "He thinks you were some hysterical blubbering idiot" he said

Evangeline felt her chest tightened "Oh really" she said hurt turning back toward the path.

RJ knew he struck a nerve and had to admit to himself he was enjoying this.

"So I assume you agree with now" she said over her shoulder continuing to walk fast. 

"Actually Van I agree with you. You can't trust your husband. He would never put you and your son first" he said

Evangeline stopped again "I never said that. I said he would be bound by his ethics as a police offer!" she said defensively

RJ looked her in the face "You may have said that but in your heart you are feeling different. Your heart doesn't believe in him anymore" he said reaching for her.

Evangeline backed away and sprinted on the trail again. She ran toward her son and away from what RJ was implying. She didn't have time for this debate. Tommy could be grater danger.

John pulled up behind RJs car in shock. "What the hell?" he said getting out and looking at the car then the limo "Dammit RJ, I told you to take her home!" he shouted.

He checked the limo and saw nothing. His heart was pounding. Evangeline was ahead of him and he didn't know what she would do if pushed.

He flipped open his phone and called the unit giving a description of where everyone was headed. He was in full panic as he raced to the trail.

"Evangeline, please please don't do something foolish" he muttered. 

Albert signaled from the second cottage. Nikki started walking. Caitlyn lifted Tommy who was heavier than she thought and walked with him. Once they got to a more solid ground she lowered him and took his hand telling him to be careful where he stepped.

Albert walked over to Nikki "I think we should take the second cabin. It sits further back and gives us a clear view of anyone stepping off this path." He said

Nikki nodded "Lets go!" she yelled at Caitlyn who was taking her time leading Tommy.

Caitlyn nodded "Remember you are a big boy" she said smiling down at him  
He looked up at her and smiled "I'll remember" he said holding her hand tightly.

Back to Index

Chapter 28: PAST and PRESENT 

John kept running up the path. He hoped he wasn't too late but his gut told him that every second counted. He felt his phone vibrating on his hip and pulled it loose opening it.

"John" Caitlyn said shakingly  
John stopped and breathing heavily found his voice "Kate!" she said loudly  
"Yes it's me" she said  
"Where are you?' he said still panting.  
"I'm in a cabin off of Route 66. There's a hiking trail that would lead you to me" she said  
"Where is my son" he asked  
"Hold on" she said 

John waited his heart pounding the entire time "Daddy" he heard Tommy say weakly  
"Hey tomster, are you okay?" he asked trying to sound normal  
"No daddy, I want to come home please come get me" Tommy said starting to cry  
"Its okay sport, I'm on my way. You just sit tight and I'll be there soon" John said continuing to walk fast down the trail.

"John" Caitlyn said coming back on the line  
"Kate, why would you take him? What's wrong with you?" he asked angrily  
"John listen to me. You have to come here alone. If you don't they'll kill us both" she said desperately  
John stopped shocked "What" he said softly  
"I'm sorry for this John but she's crazy and she wants just you here. Please call off any cops you are sending up here. Come alone" she said

John ran his hands through his hair nervously. He knew Evangeline was ahead of him. He wouldn't reach her in time. He had to think of something.  
"Caitlyn, who's with you two? Is it just Vikki? How many?" he asked  
Caitlyn got quiet. "Just come alone" she said and hung up the phone.

"Damn!" he said loosing the signal  
John dialed Evangeline's cell and started to run again.

Evangeline felt her phone vibrating and slowed down some to see who it was. It was John. She ignored it and kept racing up the path. Each time the phone would stop vibrating and go to voice mail he would hang up and call back. Finally she stopped and answered it.

"Yes" she said  
"Vangie" John said out of breath  
"Yes" she said taking note of his wheezing in the phone.  
"Stop!" he said quickly "Listen to me you have to Stop!" he said trying to regain control to tell her to wait for him.

"John, I'm going to him. You can't stop me!" she said about to hang up.  
"Wait dammit! They'll kill him!" he screamed in the phone.

Evangeline stopped walking "Where are you?" she asked looking back  
"I'm behind you" he said breathlessly  
"I spoke to Caitlyn. It's a trap. If anyone gets there before me they'll kill them both." he said  
Evangeline put her hand to her mouth "Oh god" she muttered.  
"I know you are scared but wait until I reach you. I will explain everything." He said

She nodded "Okay we'll wait for you" she said  
RJ frowned at her as she closed her phone. "Is McBain on his way?" he asked looking back

"Yes, apparently you were right. They have some kind of trap ahead of us. He said he will explain it when he reaches us." She said

Evangeline walked off the path and leaned against a tree. "I could have made it worst, my god RJ I could have caused the psycho to harm my baby before I reached him" she said weakly.

RJ walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. "It's okay Van we will just wait for John and he will tell us what to do." He said reassuringly.

20 minutes Later 

John turned up the path and saw Evangeline by the tree with RJ and walked over to them  
Evangeline looked up and walked to him "John, I had no idea" she said

He looked at her exhausted and put up his hand "We can talk about all of that later, here's the deal" he said coldly still glaring at RJ

"Caitlyn wants me to come up to the cabin alone. I believe Vikki is going through with what she told you. She wants to force me into some kind of sick choice" John said shaking his head.

Evangeline folded her arms and stared at him "So what's your plan" she said sarcastically

John looked at her for a moment. He could swear right now he didn't know her at all. "I think it's a good thing that they don't know you two are with me. The only way to get close enough to change this is if I appear to be going along with it. We need to get closer to the cabin to find a way for you and RJ to slip by." He said looking over at RJ

Evangeline looked at him shocked. He was including her in the rescue. Normally it was his dog and pony show. Now he was actually acting like they were a team. She softened.

"Okay John" she said slightly smiling and reaching for him.

John sidestepped her and kept talking "I think it would be best that you two follow my lead going forward. I don't know what we are walking into but I don't want Tommy any further traumatized. I don't want him to witness what I did at the age 9. It could destroy him" he said looking back at Evangeline angrily

Evangeline felt her stomach flip. She understood his anger at her now. It wasn't just that she didn't trust him or turned to RJ. He thought she would have put their son in a position to be traumatized the way he was. 

She walked to him "John I wasn't planning…"

"Oh really?" he said angrily "Running up a path to face off with a madwoman holding your child with a gun in your hand and felon at your side you weren't planning any violence" he said glaring at her

His words stung and her eyes teared "I just wanted to find him, I thought you wouldn't..."she started

"You thought I wouldn't do what was necessary to save our child. You thought that I would walk into that cabin and hesitate on whose life would be more important. I know exactly what you think of me!" he snapped.

RJ stepped up seeing how his words were crushing Evangeline "Stop attacking her" he said angrily

John glared at him and smiled "Or what? Here you are RJ still chasing my wife even now 6 years later. Still looking for in roads even with our child in danger hanging onto hope that she would fall into your arms." he shouted at him.

Evangeline walked away from John and RJ. She was sick with worry and now pain at what this situation had done to her and john. She was just as much at fault as he was. His words had cut her deep.

RJ stood there glaring at John "Yes I love her, but don't mistake it partner, you drop the ball on this. If anything you pushed her to come to me"

"Both of you stop it!" she yelled forcing them to turn and look at her.  
"Time is being wasted, let's go get Tommy" she said walking back up the path.

RJ turned from John and followed Evangeline. John rubbed his jaw and watched Evangeline walk up the path.

He was angry with her. Extremely hurt by her actions since Tommy's kidnapping, but he loved her and no matter what happened today he was sure that wouldn't change. He started back up the path. Some way after this is done they would have to find their way back to each other.

Albert checked the cabin and couldn't locate any binoculars. They would have to use their vision to determine where and when McBain approaches.

Caitlyn sat on the sofa rocking Tommy  
"Ms. Schaffer" he said softly  
"Yes baby" she said  
"I hungry" he said looking at her.

Caitlyn smiled. "Soon baby, we will be out of here and we'll get you the biggest cheeseburger you ever saw" she said.

Nikki got up from the chair she was in and approached Albert "Take the boy and go to the spot we talked about. You should have a good visual of what goes on here when he arrives; if things don't go as expected, kill him" she said

Caitlyn looked up in shock. "What do you mean take him?" she said holding him tighter to her. "You can't Nikki, this is not what we planned." She said desperately.

Nikki turned and frowned at her "Are you serious. Do you think I was using your plan?" she laughed "I thought I was the one that supposed to be crazy" she said

Albert walked over to the couch and Tommy held tighter to Caitlyn "Please Ms. Schaffer don't let him take me please!" he cried.

Caitlyn tried to shield him with her body but Albert easily pulled them apart and snatched up Tommy. He kicked and swung his arms. But Albert didn't flinch. He walked out the door with him.

Caitlyn jumped up and ran to the door after them but Nikki grabbed her hair forcefully stopping her. Caitlyn turned around to swing at her and missed. Nikki released her and slapped her hard across the face. She stumbled backward holding her face.

"Sit down!" she snapped.

Caitlyn went back to the couch. She could hear Tommy's cries from outside and felt like crying as well.

Evangeline, John and RJ arrived at the break in the path to the cabins in time to see a tall menacing man manhandling their son carrying him into the woods. Evangeline gasped and John put his hand to her mouth shaking his head for her to be quiet. She looked at Tommy screaming and crying and fought the urge to pull the gun and fire at that monster carrying her baby. The man went to a forested area posted right in front of the cabin. He couldn't see them from his vantage point.

John pushed them back down the trail. Evangeline saw his mind at work and couldn't hide her terror. She knew he was trying to asses the best way to get to Tommy.

"John" she said with a shaky voice   
He looked at her  
"You are going to have to let me do it" she said bravely

John shook his head "It's too dangerous Vangie" he said

"RJ can help me get up this incline. I can circle around and sneak up on them while you are in the cabin" she said

John looked at her his eyes tearing. "Vangie, what if your attempt to get him to release Tommy causes him to attack you or worse attack Tommy. Can you kill this man in front of our son?" he asked

She shook her head "I don't want to do to Tommy what was done to you. I don't want that John you have to believe me. But right now we don't have any options. You enter that cabin you have no control over what happens to Tommy in those woods. If you don't enter the cabin then Caitlyn dies." She said.

John stared at her. "I will go after Tommy." he said  
Evangeline blinked "What about Caitlyn?" she asked shocked.

"I will go after him first. If and when I secure him then I will deal with Caitlyn. We have an advantage they don't know that I'm already here. They aren't expecting me now."

"John, we can do this together" she said reaching for him. This time he let her touch his face.

He took her hand and kissed the inside of her palm. "I won't have you harmed and I'm Tommy's only hope to come out of this okay. I had to make a choice and I made it. Will you trust me to bring back our son?" he asked.

She smiled and hugged him. He held onto her and kissed her forehead. She looked up at him "Yes, I trust you" she said through her tears.

He kissed her and let go. She and RJ watched as he scaled the incline and crept into the woods.

Evangeline hugged herself and said a silent prayer. "Please god bring both my boys to me" she said softly.

Back to Index

Chapter 29: PAST and PRESENT 

John walked into the forest beyond the mound he climbed trying to gain perspective on the quickest route.

He heard trees and leaves snapping under his foot and slowed down. This was going to be hard. The forest was thick and he couldn't really tell if he was headed in the right direction. He kept walking toward the area he thought the man would be holding his son.

Soon he came to a clearing and had to decide if he should go left or right. Before he made his choice he heard whimpering to his left. It was faint. But he heard it. He looked in the direction and couldn't see much. He slowly approached that area and the whimpering seemed a little louder.

His heart beat faster.

The whimpering was Tommy and he was so angry at the thought of his son being in the hands of this man that both his fist were clinched without he him realizing it. Then he saw them. The asshole had his hands around Tommy's waist and mouth silencing him. He was crouched and facing the opposite direction. John stopped. How could he get Tommy without killing this man in front of him?

Evangeline leaned against the rocky slope John scaled 10 minutes earlier. RJ stared at her.

"Van I'm sorry about earlier" he said  
She looked up confused "Hunh? What are you talking about?" she said half listening still wondering if John was near Tommy yet.

"Earlier when I got into with John, I don't want to make things worse for you two" he said

Evangeline looked at him and smiled "RJ your outburst wasn't shocking to me or John we both know your feelings. But can we not do this now. I'm really worried about my husband and son, I don't have the energy to reassure you" she said

RJ nodded and looked away to hide his hurt. He could kick himself for constantly putting his heart before her to have her walk over it.

John knew that the only way to save his son was to draw that man out into the open. He had to separate them somehow.

He slowly crept to the right where the trees were thicker. He saw a large rock and picked it up, drawing back as far as he could he threw it to the opposite side of the forest and ducked.

The noise was loud of enough to make the man jump. He released Tommy and pulled out his gun. John kept his eye on Tommy to see what he was doing. Tommy pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head on his knees. He could see the man threatening his son and it made his temper boil.

Then the man crept away in the opposite direction. John saw he had a clear shot as the guy looked into the forest in front of him trying to see where the noise came from. He looked over at Tommy and saw that his son had his head down and wouldn't witness what he had to do. John stood up aimed then fired.

BANG  
Evangeline and RJ jumped. "Oh my god!" she said turning to RJ "Was that a gunshot?" she said terrified.

BANG  
Caitlyn and Nikki jumped. Nikki was already sitting at the window waiting for John to appear and the gunfire came from the direction of the where Albert had the kid. She turned and looked at Caitlyn "I guess Albert got trigger happy and decided to waste the brat early" she said laughing.

Caitlyn clutched her chest "Oh God NO! " she yelled.

Nikki frowned at her "Shut up. You can still get what you want out of this.  
Caitlyn glared at Nikki. That precious boy was dead because of her. She saw Nikki turn to look back out the window. She rose slowly from the couch and picked up the lamp.

Nikki kept talking about how much fun it will be to see John tell Evangeline her son was dead. Caitlyn charged at Nikki with the lamp and brought it crashing down on her head. As Nikki took the blow she raised the gun and fired it into Caitlyn chest. Caitlyn fell backward and Nikki fell over to the side of her.

BANG  
Evangeline turned when she heard the next shot coming from the cabin. Maybe Vikki killed Caitlyn because of John. Maybe they knew and John was too late! Before she could take off in the direction or the cabin she heard RJ call her name. He was looking up at John coming down the slope holding Tommy. 

Evangeline ran over to John and took Tommy out of his hands. Tommy was shaking and clinging so tight to his dad it was hard to pull him loose. When he saw it was her his eyes got big "Mommy" he said excitedly

Evangeline held onto him and dropped to her knees "Yes baby it's me, its mommy" she said stroking his face 

Tommy hugged her and Evangeline looked up at John who was looking in the direction of the cabin. "Was that another shot?" he asked panicked.

Evangeline nodded still rocking her son.   
John looked at RJ "Stay with them!" he said running in the direction of the cabin.

Evangeline lifted her sons face and looked at him. "Are you okay baby?" she said through tears

Tommy smiled slightly "I hungry" he said  
Evangeline and RJ burst into laughter.  
RJ knelt down and rubbed his head "Me too partner" he said

John raced into the cabin to see Caitlyn on the ground gasping for air. Vikki lay next to her unconscious. He ran to Caitlyn and pulled her into his lap. She looked up at him and smiled.

"I tried to save him….please…..please…believe me John" she said gasping for air.  
John looked down at her and saw from her wound that it must have pierced her lung.

"Shhhh….don't say anything" he said stroking her hair.

Caitlyn found it harder to believe and found it ironic that the death she faked for him years ago was now coming for her in the same way. She felt the tears run down her face. "I'm sorry John, I never wanted to hurt…..to hurt….Tommy…..I….I…wanted" she said now spitting up blood. 

John squeezed his eyes shut. He was reliving it all over again. "Please don't die" he said weakly

Caitlyn smiled at him "It's not…your fault…I did this" she said wheezing

"Caitlyn I did love you!" he said now crying closing his eyes afraid to watch her die again.

He opened his eyes and looked into her face and saw her staring blankly at him. She was dead.

Evangeline saw the cops coming up the trail where she sat rocking her son. He'd stopped shaking and was now just holding onto her. She was so grateful he was in her arms she was oblivious to everyone surrounding her.

RJ told the officers that John was up in the cabin and they raced passed them.

John let go of Caitlyn when the officers walked in. Two of them went to Vikki and handcuffed her while she was still unconscious. He heard them asking him questions but couldn't take his eyes off her lifeless body.

"Are you okay, sir?" the guy asked him  
He said nothing walking out of the cabin. As he headed back to his son he noticed his shirt was stained with Caitlyn's blood. He pulled his shirt over his head dropping it to the ground and kept walking. 

Evangeline looked up and saw John approaching. His shirt was off but there was blood on the front of his pants. She looked in his face and knew that what he'd seen broke his heart.

She opened her free arm and reached for him, with the other she held Tommy who was in her lap. He knelt down to her and she pulled him into her and Tommy. She held him as he cried on her and held Tommy as well. John wrapped his arms around his family and cried tears of relief and grief.

RJ walked away and headed back down the path.

Back to Index

Chapter 30: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline knelt at Tommy's bed stroking his hair watching him sleep. He'd been at her side since they found him. John stopped at McDonalds on the drive back home and he took a couple of bites of her his burger but was to exhausted to finish. Evangeline rode in the back with him and kept him close to her. She couldn't stop staring at him.

John touched her shoulder. "We need to talk Vangie" he said softly

She nodded. "I can't leave him, what if he wakes up and I'm not there." She said weakly  
John knelt next to her "We'll be in the room next door. He'll be fine. I need to talk to you" he said rubbing her back.

Evangeline looked up at him, she saw he needed her and relented. "Okay" she said slowly rising.

She walked in the room and sat on the bed. She watched him pace in front of her. "A lot has happened between us in the past two days Vangie" he said his voice cracking.

She looked down at the floor.

The things said between them were painful and she wasn't sure if she wanted to rehash it all. John stopped pacing and knelt down in front of her.

"I can't have it between us. What I mean is that I won't have this destroy us. I hurt you so many different ways in the past but I never understood what it did to you. When you said you didn't trust me…." he said

"I'm sorry..." she said trying to interrupt. He shook his head stopping her.

"Let me finish Vangie, I have to get this out" he said

She nodded and let him continue. 

"You told me you didn't trust me. Although it hurt to hear you say it, it was also a relief. I need to know how you feel and what you need. For so long our love has been one sided at times. You've been patient and selfless under some of the most difficult circumstances. Even during times when I lost you I had you and I always trusted that you were there for me above all else." He said nervously

"When Caitlyn came to town I did hide from you. I wanted to have the option to deal with her return without facing my commitment to you. I'm sorry babe but it's true. When you found out I saw what I could loose from that moment forward it was clear to me, I wanted you." John put his hand in her lap over hers.

"I want your trust and faith back. But these are things that I can't get with words. These are things that I'll have to earn. Just you like you have examples of me failing you, I need you to have examples of me being there for you" he said his eyes tearing.

He reached up and stroked her face.

"Give me a chance to prove my love to you again. Not a chance with your head. But a chance with your heart. I know you think the worst is over and that we can move on. I feel that too…but the pain that lies at my insecurities and yours has to be addressed. We have a son and it's important that we remain emotionally healthy and solid for him." He said

Evangeline stared at him. She fought hard to find he words to express everything in her heart but she couldn't.

He was being open with her and he was right, her heart didn't fully trust him. When RJ called her on it, it frightened her because she knew he was right.

"John I thought I trusted you, I honestly did but this thing with Caitlyn uncovered some old wounds for me. People in my life that I was supposed to trust failed me. My mom and my father, Dennis and then you. I keep my pain hidden John. It's not a conscious act it's just something that I learned to do at an early age and now it comes naturally." She said looking from his face though the door to Tommy room.

"But having Tommy, becoming a mother it changed me. Tommy's happiness and safety is more important than my own. He was attacked. And my instincts was to fight even you if need be to protect him. What drove me is fear that he would suffer because I brought him into this world under the wrong circumstances" she looked back at John and saw him frown. She touched his face.

"No baby, I don't think he was an accident, but we never dealt with our issues the right way before having a baby. We lost our first baby, you were brainwashed and I was barely recovered from being an amnesiac. Although, I wouldn't change anything, our child should have never suffered this trauma. If we were stronger together Caitlyn and Vikki would've never gotten him" she said gently

John nodded and put his head in her lap. Evangeline ran her fingers through his hair.

"John, tell me what happened to Caitlyn" she said softly  
"I watched her die" he said emotionlessly  
Evangeline raised his face to look at him "How did it make you feel?" she asked  
"Guilty and somewhat relieved" he said  
Evangeline looked at him confused "Why relieved?" she asked

John lifted himself from in front of her and sat next to her on the bed. "That's it Vangie, it's the last skeleton, the last ghost of my past. It was over. I loved her. I wanted her to survive this and I would have fought for her life. But I am so tired of battling my past and having it effect our present" he said

She looked at him "I didn't trust you John because of that reason. Caitlyn was your past and me and Tommy were the present. When you closed off from me after finding out she was alive, when you pulled away from me when trying to make love, when you defended her to me when I said she was dangerous, when you rejected my opinion on finding our son with RJs help, I felt that everything you were doing was driven by your need to hang onto the past. Does that make sense?" she asked.

John turned away from her and nodded. Without looking at her he asked "What do you want now Vangie?"

She saw that he was in pain and fear of what her answer would be "I want us to heal. I want us to get counseling along with Tommy. I want you to see me more than someone to protect or the mother of your child. I want you to see me as an equal, and treat me that way. If you can't do that we have no future" she said

John looked back at her. "I think I can do all those things" he said

She smiled at him then heard Tommy scream. They both jumped and ran toward his room.

"Mommy!" Tommy yelled sitting up in his bed crying.  
Evangeline got to him first and pulled her to him to her lap "Baby, I'm here" she said  
Tommy lay on her chest and whimpered. He never opened his eyes and Evangeline knew that he must be in the throws of a nightmare. She looked up at John.

"We have to get him to Dr. Jamison immediately. Did he see what happened with you and that man in the woods" she asked concerned.

John came to the bed and sat next to her stroking his sons arm "No Vangie, I am positive he didn't see anything. When I got to him his head was buried in his lap and it took a moment for him to know it was me. I don't know what all he went through while he was with them but I agree counseling will have to be immediate" 

Evangeline rubbed his back. "I want him to sleep with us" she said  
John nodded and took him out of her arms. Tommy didn't wake as he and Evangeline took him to their room and put him in the bed. After John laid him down on the bed, Evangeline reached for him.

"Thank you for what you said earlier. I feel like we understand each other." she said.  
John pulled her into his arms "We are well on our way Vangie, I promise you that.

Back to Index

Chapter 31: PAST and PRESENT 

Evangeline opened her eyes and smiled. Today was her anniversary. It'd been two months since the incident in the woods and Caitlyn's death.

Tommy was sleeping in his own bed and the bedwetting had stopped. He still had anxiety at times but it was brief.

John surprised her with this trip to Jamaica and she was terrified to leave Tommy behind. But Dr. Jamison said it was necessary to give him a little independence again. Tommy cried and clung to them when they dropped him off to Antonio and Layla's, but he eventually calmed down when John took him outside and had a private conversation.

He came back into their condo with his brave boy face and headed to Jamie's room. Evangeline was so happy that Layla came back to Antonio, they were getting married. She discovered she was pregnant while in New York and found that being a mom was more appealing than being an actress. Of course Lisa had flipped out. But she and Layla had set her straight. They would allow Lisa to remain in their lives but she'd been warned.

The sun pouring into their bungalow was warm and inviting. She looked at the sheer draping that surrounded the bed and smiled everything in this tropical paradise exuded romance.

Last night John had taken her to barbeque on the beach and they ate grilled conch out of the shell. They danced to the reggae music from the live band and watched the sunset. John drank so much Jamaican rum that she had to half carry him back to their private bungalow.

She rolled over and looked at him sleeping. He was as beautiful today as he was the night they made love in Mary's basement. She moved his hair out of his face and kissed his forehead. They'd been in counseling with Tommy and it was wonderful. The way they communicated now gave her the security she always craved. And she knew it gave him what he needed.

She had a surprise for him and was anxious to give it to him on this special day.

She kissed his lips and he stirred opening his mouth for her. He pulled her on top of him and she felt his hands travel all over her body. She stopped kissing him and started kissing his neck, slowly moving her tongue up to his ear licking his lobe.

She heard him moan and looked at him in the face "Still hung over?" she asked.  
John smiled at her "Doesn't matter" he said "Happy Anniversary"  
She laughed "Happy Anniversary to you too" she said kissing him again.  
He took her hand and slid it under the covers so she could feel how happy he really was.  
She looked at him seductively "You ready for part of your Anniversary present now?" she asked

He raised an eyebrow "Only part of it?" he asked. "Is it the best part?"

She laughed "No, but I promise you will have a good time!" she said  
He ran his hands through her hair. "Give me what you got!" he said softly looking her in the face.

Evangeline lowered her head to kiss his chest, while she used the other hand to massage him under the sheets. She felt him move under her grip and didn't loose up.

John lifted her face to look at her. "I love you" he said pushing her on her back. He started to kiss her neck and she relaxed as his tongue traveled from he neck to her breast.

She closed her eyes and let him work her over. He touched her in the way he knew she liked. He made love to her slowly and she clung to him hoping that the sweetness of his touch would last forever. As he drove her to climax she opened her eyes and stared into his. The love they had was more than enough and she thanked god that she and he both now realized that.

They spent the rest of the day enjoying the private part of the beach they had for their bungalow. He convinced her to take a horse ride on the beach and it was fun and she even had him do parasailing.

When they returned to the bungalow in the dusk there was a candle light dinner waiting for them with a wait staff.

Evangeline wore a white bikini top and a floor length linen white skirt. Her hair was up in a ponytail held in place by a white band. She pulled off her shades and looked at the spread before her. John was tanned from the Jamaican sun and wore white linen shorts his muscles glistened in the candle light and she thought the entire scene was heavenly.

He kissed her and led her to the table.

She sat down and stared at the lobster in front of her. "How did you manage this?" she said giggling. 

John winked at her "I have my ways, I am the King of surprises" he said cockily

He then frowned at her lobster and looked at his.

She laughed and picked up the lobster crackers. "Grab them like this baby" she said

John watched her and picked up his crackers and followed her lead. She laughed through most of dinner as he tried to eat it finally giving up.

She got up and sat in his lap and cracked the claws to get him more meat. She fed him the rest of his dinner from his lap.

She felt him trying to loosen the tie to her bikini top and popped his hand.

"No desert yet" she said  
"Why?" he said pouting still pulling at her string

"Because its time for your present" she said looking behind her at him smiling.

John looked at her confused.

Evangeline nodded at the waiter who walked away. John watched the exchange between the two of them confused.

The waiter appeared with another silver serving tray with a dome cover. He walked over to John and lifted the cover, underneath was an envelope with his name on it.

Evangeline got up from his lap and smiled at him. John looked at her suspiciously and reached for the envelope. He opened it and pulled out the document. It took only moments to see that it was her pregnancy test results.

He looked at her surprised.

She smiled "Now who's the Queen of surprises?" she said with her hand on her hips.

He laughed and reached for her. She took off and headed toward the beach. He chased her and caught her near the shore bringing her down onto the sand. The water broke over there bodies as he kissed her face. She wiggled under him laughing as the water splashed over him. He kissed her passionately and looked at her. "That's the second best gift you ever gave me" he said lying on top of her. "The first is five years old and in Llanview waiting for his parents to come home."

She pulled him down to her and kissed him again.

He pulled at her skirt trying to raise it but was having a hard time since it clung to her from the water that lapped over them in light waves near the shore. "John, we aren't alone" she said trying to stop him.

John looked back up at the waiter that stood by their table. "That will be all" he shouted. 

The waiter bowed and walked away.

"Now we're alone" he said pulling at her skirt.  
She laughed and lifted so he could raise it. He entered her slowly and she closed her eyes. He kissed her hard and feverishly and she wrapped her legs around him forcing him to enter her deeper. He buried his face in her wet hair and she listened to his moans as he pressed his entire weight against her body. He kept telling her he loved her and how beautiful she was. 

She opened her eyes and looked up into the sky and saw the million stars sparkling down on them. She felt her body vibrate from his hold on her and fought to keep her eyes from rolling in her head. She wanted to see the stars when they both climaxed and she got her wish. When he was done. He lifted his face to hers.

"We are going to have a wonderful life together" he said kissing her nose  
"We already do!" she said grinning up at him

THE END!  
HOPE YOU LIKED IT YOU JOSLUTS! LOL!  
Post Script

I also write under the penname LUVINGJOVAN. Currently me and the writer of Irish Gift oltlfantimes10 are doing a round robin called Reclaiming love under the above name. I hope that you guys will take time to read it. I promise you won't be disappointed.

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